Cocoon of Lies
by Ebony Nemesis
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters and I’m not trying to get any money, don’t sue because I DON'T have any money.
Copyright: I own the story line! Don’t attempt to take this before advising me… I’ll haunt you and make your life really miserable. You must believe me… my muse Adonis has satanic powers
Warnings: Shounen-ai, language, drugs use, yaoi, lime, violence, lemon (m/m and m/f), OOC-ness, supernatural themes, death, (mental) bond, horror, blood and gore and everything like such.
– Memory Binds
could feel you in my head
I cannot find you. I know you are
know because the bond is still strong,
I cannot feel you, though I know you're not gone
are you? How could you be alive?
Omi splashed some water on his face. He had already done this fro 4 time sin the
previous hours. He looked up into the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot, his skin
too pale, and Omi widened his eyes in realization that he had some strands of
white in his hair.
you there?" a young voice called from outside the bathroom. Omi walked to
open the door, to see Fujimiya Aya standing outside, her face equally as weary
out his arms and embraced her, Fujimiya had been in love with Omi for 2 years,
and probably still was. But Omi knew he could never fall in love with her. His
heart was given to one person long ago, every since he first saw him, how long
ago was that? He was only 17 then…
won't you speak?"
shook his head sadly, if Ran doesn't wake up then he's not speaking.
Omi? Why do you do this to yourself? If you lick at a wound it would never
sighed. He walked down to the corridor to room 209. Ran's door was open and Omi
quietly walked in. he gasped when he saw what's in front of him.
Ran was standing in the doorway, clad in black. His red hair was short and
spiky. And he was glaring at Omi, maybe he was just looking at him, but it looks
like a glare anyway, the same Fujimiya glare.
Omi threw his arms around Ran's torso in a tight clamp. Ran patted him, holding
his head to his chest.
cried, after a painful month Ran had finally woken up.
when did you wake up?"
not dead Omi, I can feel him!"
heart, so warmed just a minute ago by Ran, suddenly felt like it had been dumped
into a lake in the middle of winter. It seemed that there was no space in Ran's
heart for Omi after all…
didn’t Omi, I jumped"
are you ok? Maybe you need to lie down…"
been lying down for a month Omi. I don't need to lie down. I need to tell you,
guided Omi on his bed.
all began that day when you followed me to the nightclub…"
you hear me? Can you hear me calling to you?
you see me? I know you look at me, but is it me you see? Look closer…
I stare at Omi. God, you’d think that at least I could handle a 19-year old teenage boy. But right now I feel ridiculous staring at him, with him staring back.
The kid’s giving me creeps, I’ve always known his eyes are unbeatable, but not in this sense…
And they call ME the death glare person.
"You will stay at home."
"No, I’ll come with you."
"It’s an order Bombay."
He glares at me. "You can’t do that," he pouted, "that’s not fair. Besides, you aren’t my leader any more."
I grunt. Walking up to my room, I hear Omi call behind me, "You can’t stop me Ran-Kun, I’m coming whether you like it or not!"
I decide to ignore that. Opening my bedroom door, a photo comes into my sight. It was a photo we took a few years ago, the four of us together, Yohji was lifting me off the ground. Omi and Ken were laughing their head off. I lift the picture up from the table. I hadn’t even seen Yohji or Ken for 2 years. God knows where they are right now…
It’s been 2 years since we separated. 2 years since I’ve broken up with Yohji, when I discovered he was cheating on me with Ken. To tell the truth, it hurt more than I expected, Yohji was my first crush after all. And I guess they sensed it as well. So now, Yohji and Ken are in France, studying some art stuff. I remember Ken making a joke about how Yohji didn't choose anatomy…
I turn and finger my katana. Ever since the fall of Kritiker, I never took my katana around anymore, there was no need and I have no interest of carrying a piece of metal around. Omi never carry his dart anymore either. And now since he’s on his second year in collage, and Yohji isn’t around anymore, so no swarms of girls attacking everyday. Aya-chan and the two of us can keep Koneko no Sume Ie going pretty easily. Indeed, Mamoe died a little more than a year ago, and we got the shop.
I hear a knock on the door, "Come in."
Aya- chan pokes her head in. "Everything ok, big bro?"
I nod briefly. Aya is going out with Omi right now. It took them 2 months to prove to me that they aren’t joking around with each other. Omi promised he would slash his own throat with my katana if he ever cheated on my sister.
"Uh, I heard some noise downstairs a while ago."
"It’s nothing." I assure her.
She smiles, and kisses on my cheek so quickly that when I realize what happened, she was gone.
I smile briefly to myself. I love my sister, I could never hate her. But even I can see that she’s rapidly growing apart from me. As much that she’s my sunshine, she’s also Omi’s ‘life’, as he claimed himself. I touch the hilt of my katana, and take my hand back as if it’s touched electricity.
Two years, I thought I could finally forget about the nightmares that haunted me through my life the past years. When my life was the nightmare itself. I thought washing my hands thrice a day might wipe off the bloodstains on them forever, but I’m wrong.
I won’t ever forget my life as an assassin, I couldn’t. I thought gravely, once an assassin, always an assassin. We could never head back, it was a one-way ticket we purchased, no matter whether it was good or bad, we are all drenched in blood… forever.
I pace around my room, fuming. How dares he? How dare he boss me around as if I have to obey his orders like we were assassins again? He even called me using my CODE NAME!
I am furious, first, he forbade me to date his sister, and then he forbade me to break up with her. Now he’s forbidding me to go to clubs because I might CHEAT ON AYA?
I bet he still regards me as a kid whose blond head bobs under his mouth with innocent blue eyes. As much as I don’t like to admit it, it’s basically the truth. I haven’t grown an inch since I’m 15 and I still look that age. Despite to the fact I’m in the top 10% of my class in academic marks, most teachers still mistake me as a little brother of one of their pupils.
I sit on my bed, sighing. I wish Yohji-Kun and Ken–Kun are still here, at least we’d have some noise in this house, any noise.
Yohji-Kun’s jaws would have fallen to the ground if he heard me now, but I sourly miss the sound of him and Ken-Kun arguing.
I finger the darts on my bedside–table; I use to always keep them in my jacket. Now, as much as Ran-Kun loathes his katana, I love my darts just as much. I don’t hate it; my assassin life was the most exciting time I had during my entire 19 years on earth. I actually felt a sense of meaning in life when I got a mission and I loved the flawless cooperation we had among the four of us… before we started to drift apart.
First Kritiker fell, and then Manx-San died trying to save Yohji. This grieved us, but the main reason we broke up was because of Ran-Kun, and Yohji-Kun.
I remember clearly how Ran-Kun came home one night nearly two years ago, and saw Ken-Kun and Yohji-Kun making out on the sofa. I remember Ran-Kun shouting "Shi-ne!" at Yohji-Kun and injured Ken-Kun’s arm. I remember forcing Ran-Kun to calm down and thus getting hurt myself. But the moment he slashed me he regretted it, I remember blushing when he looked at me worried and gasping when he discovered how much damage he did to my biceps. I told him it was nothing but he dragged me upstairs and bandaged me up, then he fell apart against me.
I thought he wouldn't ever stop. He laid his head on my lap and sobbed and sobbed. I stroked his hair as I whispered comforting and meaningless stuff into his ears; he eventually calmed down and fell asleep against me, kneeling in front of me. And I soon fell asleep against him as well.
By morning Yohji-Kun and Ken-Kun were gone, they wrote a short note telling us that they were going to Paris and they weren’t going to come back for a long time. I remember Yohji-Kun’s last words were, "Aya, I’m sorry." And once again Ran-Kun fell in tears.
"It’s all my fault!" He whispered hoarsely, " I sent them away!"
We never heard from them after that.
Ran-Kun literally mourned for a whole week, not eating and not sleeping. He often stood there in the middle of shop staring out into the streets, wishing Ken-Kun and Yohji-Kun would magically appear and walk towards us as if nothing ever happened. But of course it didn’t come true. And he became thinner by the minutes.
I was finally sick of it. I called Aya-chan from Nagoya and asked her to come home as fast as she can. Meanwhile I forced food into him and made him go to bed, even if he doesn't close his eyes, he could still rest his head.
Then Aya-chan came and shook him by the shoulders, "What are you? A COWARD?" she shouted into his ear, "GET UP AND BE A MAN! Don’t tell me you’re mourning over YOHJI! He’s just a fucking playboy who can’t give a damn about what people thinks about him, get over him and get A LIFE!"
It somehow revived him. He became the icicle once again, except this time he was more withdrawn as ever. I hadn’t seen him in a relationship for the past two years.
I sigh, putting down the darts, I decide to follow Ran-Kun to the club anyway. I find a pair of leather pants Yohji-Kun brought me as an April fools present. I really didn’t have the heart to throw it out. I throw on a extra large shirt made of shiny silvery material which was Yohji-Kun’s as well, before he went to France that is, now it’s mine. Then I put on a bit of glitter on my hair. I check my image in my mirror, twisting like Yohji-Kun.
I hear Ran-Kun close the door softly and walk downstairs and out the front entrance, I quickly follow behind him and leave the apartment as quietly as I can.
It just doesn’t seem right, no matter which way Schuldich put it. I’m not 18 yet and I shouldn’t be going to one of those places.
Schuldich is looking at me restlessly, "Oh come on Nagi. Just for tonight and I’ll never drag you to a nightclub again."
"Why are you being so persistent?" I ask him. "Can’t you wait for another two months?"
"That doesn’t make any difference." Schuldich batters his eyelashes at me; I try hard not to vomit. "Oh please… you’re beginning to sound like Crawford."
"Good." I retort. I hate any mentioning of my former career as a member of Schwartz.
"Alright, you want it the hard way? I’ll give you the hard way." He is beside me in a second and picked me up.
"Let go!" I start to panic, Nagi’s survival rule number one, never piss off Schuldich. "Where are you taking me?"
"A place you’ll grow to love." He throws me into the Mercedes Benz we own. "You just wait and see." We race off into the heart of Tokyo.
The nightclub is buzzing when we enter it. I had no problem getting into the place even if I looked 14. Thanks to a little hallucination done Schuldich, who is now ordering some French alcohol that was obviously strong and expensive, however we got it for free, thanks to telepathy again.
I look around my surrounding. To my left barely more than 1 inch two guys were in a deep embrace, and I refuse to notice where their hands are. To my right Schu is holding out a glass of clear liquid, I take it and sip a little, the effect was overwhelming.
"What did you put in it?" I ask angrily. The noise of the place was so loud I had to shout.
"Something you’ll grow to love." He laughed.
I watch in silence as a woman in sticky tape clothing approaches Schu and run her hand up his thigh, he laughs harshly again and leads the woman to the dance floor. Calling something to me that meant enjoy your time in his twisted language.
I sigh, as if. The guys on my left accidentally brush my arm, and I turn away in disgust. Leaving the bar, I try to find a place to sit, and approach a table only occupied by a blond boy facing away from me.
"Is this seat taken?" I ask.
He shakes his head almost absently as I set my cup down and sit. He ignores my presence and continues staring at the dance floor. I follow his gaze to see Schuldich dancing with a guy in red and black. They make quite a couple.
"Waiting for someone?" I ask after a moment of silence, bored.
"Yes," he inhales, then breathes out slowly. "But he doesn’t know that I am."
"Sounds serious." I comment, "You have a crush for her?"
"It’s a him." He’s still faced away from me, so I have no idea what his expression is. I don’t despise homosexuals, for I’m not exactly totally straighter than a ruler is either. But I couldn’t understand how there could be romantic feelings between two males.
We remain silent for the next five songs. Until Schuldich sees me and waves at me, I roll my eyes. Instead I hear a hiss from my silent companion, "Schwartz."
I stare at him in awe. After our sudden disappearance a little less than 3 years ago, I didn’t expect anyone to remember us.
Schuldich drags a chair and sit beside me, pulling his partner onto his lap. He meets a reasonable amount of resistance before giving up. "Nagi, you remember Abyssinian?" He asks as he draws another chair for the redhead.
I stare at the redhead in shock. "What are you trying to pull Schuldich?"
"Stop scowling Nagi." He tells me, "I met him on the dance floor, besides, we aren’t exactly enemies now are we?"
"Mastermind! Prodigy!" I hear a hiss beside me; I turn and gasp in surprise.
"Omi? What are you doing here?" Abyssinian asks.
It’s the youngest member of Weiss, the blond one. Suddenly memories come rushing back to me.
"The building is going to collapse in 30 seconds! Evacuate." I moved at the command by Crawford. Carefully slipping through corridors so I could avoid any guards. I was on my third flight of stairs when 10 of them came running up to me.
I used my powers to push them down, but not before a bullet was planted firmly into my right shoulder, I fell towards them in pain, shooting at them and strangling them with my powers.
I pushed past them and ran towards the doors of the building, but before I could get there I collapsed with someone, and before we could get up the building was falling around us. I used my mental powers to hold up the pieces as the whole building came crashing onto us. I felt my powers drain and passed out
Somehow he must have dragged me into a hollow of some kind because when I looked up, it was dark and the only light I could see was his torch. He was attending my wounds.
I studied the face of my rescuer; he must be around the same age as me for he looked so childish and innocent. His concentrated so hard that he didn’t notice I was awake. I felt his hands secure the bandage around my shoulder before I spoke up.
"Who are you?"
He looked at me in surprise; "Good you’re awake. Don’t move that arm for 3 days and it should be all right, make sure you go to a doctor and get your stitches off by next Wednesday."
"Who are you?"
"I’m going to turn off this torch now, hold my hand so we won’t lose each other." With that, we were left in pitch darkness.
I repeated my question. And this time he answered, "I’m Weiss."
I nearly let go of the hand; here I am lying on my enemy’s lap, which I discovered just then, and clinging to his hand for dear life. I felt him move as he pulled away his legs and replaced them with something thinner, I discovered it was his arm. I felt his body lying down next to mine and blushed.
I absently wounded my arm around his waist and held him close, and even naturally drifted off into sleep in his arms.
When I woke the next day he was gone, and I was back lying in my own room, the only thing that reminded me it wasn't a dream was my throbbing arm
*******End of flashback*******
It’s humiliating enough to work out after dancing with him for 7 whole songs that you’re dancing with your former worst enemy. But it’s even more embarrassing to discover your roommate and former teammate staring at him as he sat beside you for 10 minutes straight. Then staring at HIS partner for another 10 minutes.
That’s it I decide, no more night clubbing with me for Nagi for the rest of his life.
I snap my fingers in front of Nagi’s face. He shakes his head suddenly and said in the most distant voice I’ve ever heard him use. "Schuldich we should go."
"Why?" I whine, "it’s only 11, and I still haven’t found a bed partner for tonight. Unless," I smirk at him, "you want to volunteer that is."
I can see him blushing. God, this kid’s too bunched up, I think unhappily, I must’ve let him spend too much time with Mr. Stick-up-in-ass-American Crawford.
"Shut up." He tells me, humiliated. "If you’re not going then I am!" He stands up; gulping down the vodka I gave him in one gulp and sways.
I grab his elbow, steadying him. "Sure Nagi, where?"
It takes him 3 seconds to realize he doesn’t have the key and turns to me. "Anywhere to get away from YOU."
I place my other hand on my heart. "Nagi, I’m hurt, you don’t love me anymore?"
"I never loved you Schuldich." He tells me sternly, it’s not hard to forget he’s only 17.
"So cruel, young one." I stroke his hair. "Alright, you can go. But make sure you don’t get raped." I laughed harshly and walked away. Leaving the three pairs of piercing eyes behind me.
I was nearly at the dance floor when I felt a hand touch my elbow. I twirl around to find the red kitten staring at me.
"Love me too much to let me go?" I whisper sensuously. He looks down, flushed.
I laugh harshly, and snakes an arm around his waist, god he’s gorgeous. I regard my partner as we began moving.
He’s wearing black plastic pants that left little to the imagination. His top is silky red polyester with see through stripes on it, loose and unbuttoned; it both hides and reveals his lithe chest and abdomen. I catch something red on his chest. His hair’s spiked up with glittery gel, and I realize in surprise that his ear-tails are nowhere to be found. He wears only a little mascara, and a chain with a little crucifix is dangling from his neck. Diamond nubs replace long drop earrings; it twinkles as it catches the light.
I feel hot just looking at him.
It seems a bit unfair, as I’m practically eating him using my eyes. Then I notice his eyes; they are on a particular part of my body that almost made me feel a bit embarrassed. And I emphasize almost.
Our eyes meet and to my surprise the corner of his mouth twists up as he looks down on me through his eyelashes. God he’s asking for it. I return the look by pressing my body to his and rubbing. He gasps in pleasure but quickly recovers and rubs me back in response.
Our mouth meet and I slip my arms around his waist again, he grabs my mane
and holds my mouth to his as he slowly opens them and licks across my tongue. I
gasp in surprise and he takes advantage of it, slipping his tongue deeper inside
Where did he learn to kiss like this? I probe his mind and find an image of him and that what’s-his-face flirt doing exactly what we’re doing right now. Anger and bitter jealousy take over my mind as I shove him away.
He questions me with his eyes; "I’m not some kind of substitute for that flirt." I hiss at him.
He widens his eyes in surprise, but then remembers that I’m telepathy. "I’m sorry."
"No you’re not, how could you be?"
He simply nods; I’m surprised at how honest he is. Then without warning his mouth is on mine again, sensuous and erotic. My arm snakes around his waist once again and I probe his mouth with my tongue. He allows the invasion and I fuck his mouth with my tongue. Hands roaming and pressing to his torso, our upper bodies clash against each other. He gasps in pleasure as his nipple brush against mine.
Then he pushes me away, looking around the club. Even though nobody seems to notice us I know that he’s conscious, and the idea of fucking in front of everybody in a nightclub doesn’t seem too inviting, even to me. He holds his keys to his Porsche up to my eyes. I smirk. "Yours or mine?"
"Yours." He answers simply, and grabs my hand hurrying us to the exit. I spot Nagi talking to the blond and toss him my keys.
I hand Schuldich my keys as we zoom off into the distant.
My new- found lover is smirking as usual; I’m getting hot simply looking at him. He’s wearing black, tight sleeveless turtleneck and leather pants the same color as my hair, wine red that hugged his thighs and loosened up when it reached his calves. I crave to touch them again. So I do.
He shifts uncomfortably under my touch, /Stop it. I can’t concentrate. /
I stop, and he grabs my hand and places it back on his thigh. /Don’t stop. /
I hide a smile and continue my ministrations until he parks he car beside a modern looking apartment and gets out. I get out as well and follow him. As he reaches the elevator, he pulls me inside and as soon as the door closes he grabs me and plants his mouth on mine.
I freeze. Returning to my senses after a while, I push him away. He looks at me, questioning. I sigh, if we do this here, we won’t be able to stop. I drag my hands through my hair.
He smirks. /Then we should get out of here. /
We reach level 14 and he fiddles with the keys for a while. When the door clicks, he drags me inside and bolts the door. Leaning on the door, he faces and stares at me.
I stare back, noticing the brown in his jade eyes. They were lust-laden and burning with desire. I blink again, I was sure I’ve seen a part of Yohji in those eyes. They are so close in color and expression I loose myself in them. I don’t know what made me stare for so long, my current lover’s desire or my ex-lover’s shadow in them.
He advances on me suddenly and I find myself backing away from. I felt my legs crash on the sofa that sent me toppling. He takes full advantage of this situation and kneels on top of me, straddling my hips.
/I told you I’m not some kind of substitute! / I shudder as he whispers into my mind. It was supposed to be a punishment, but I feel myself hardening instead. Or is this his punishment?
/Smart kitten. / He remarks, chuckling into my mind and I can’t bear it anymore, I grab his head and pull his lips down against mine.
He strokes my face as our kiss deepens. I open my lips willingly to his tongue. As we rub our groins against each other’s.
My hands find the hem of his turtleneck and slip inside. Feeling his smooth skin. I pinch his nipples and he groans. His hands yank my shirt hem from my trousers and I stop long enough to slip out of the garment as I lift his shirt over his head, breaking our kiss momentarily.
He smirks. / Desperate aren’t we? / He leans down and nips at my throat. I tilt my head up to let him gain better access of it. / Don’t worry. I’m going to make it all better. /
He slowly moves up and sucks at my earlobe, tonguing my earring. I bury my face in his shoulder in order to suppress a moan, but instead it comes out muffled and sounding like a purr.
His hands find my zipper and belt and in a moment I’m completely naked. He slowly stands up and gaze at my body, and licks his lips.
"Absolutely purrfect." I glare at him. Standing up I grab his face and plant my mouth on his, I quickly undo his pants as well and soon I find myself kneeling down in front of him with the object of his desire standing proudly erect and within an inch from my lips. So I kiss it, and slowly take it in inch by inch.
Schuldich’s hips buckle and he moans in pleasure. I would’ve smiled save my mouth is now taken over by… other things. I run my tongue under it and hear my lover hiss.
Oh, this is just the beginning of it; I think smugly, its just beginning.
Grabbing my drink and gulping down most of it, I get up and return the cup to the bar in order to order something else. I reach in my pockets and draw out 1000 yen.
"Buy me what was in this cup and keep the change." I tell the bartender. He goes away, and returns about 10 minutes later.
"What took you so long?" I snap, he murmured some apology and I grunt. Gulping down the strong alcohol and feeling its effect immediately, I sway.
A hand reached out and steadies me. I turn abruptly and see Bombay holding my arm, his face passive.
I yank my elbow back and snarl at him, trying hard not to think about what the touch could mean.
He grabs my cup suddenly and gaze at it through the lights. Then he grabs my elbows again and drags me outside before I knew what was happening.
When I finally get the idea that my worst enemy had just dragged me into an ally and I was currently vomiting god knows what all over him. I push him away and glare at him.
Surprisingly he bites his lips, as his eyes crinkle up as he tries to suppress a giggle.
I snarl again. "What’s so funny?"
"Nothing." I can tell he’s lying. Angry and humiliated, I used my powers to shove him into a wall.
"Ok, ok." He surrenders, and I let go. "I was just thinking I’ve finally found a person to match Aya-kun’s glare." He blinks innocently.
I sigh, he looks merely more than a child, yet I know under those innocence, is a heart so damaged I don’t know who’ll ever repair it.
I actually managed to get out of the Schwartz apartment without any trouble. Taking a taxi, I went to Koneko no Sume Ie and spotted my savoir smiling and flirting with girls. Or rather, it was the girls that flirted with him.
He saw me froze. Excusing himself with the most innocent smile, he crossed the road and dragged me into a shadow of a building.
"What are you doing here?" He asked.
I swallowed, "I…"
He didn't wait for me to finish; "Do you know how dangerous this place is? If Yohji, Aya or even Ken spots you, you’re nothing but a corpse in a matter of seconds."
I looked at him confused. Was he trying to warn me against his TEAMMATES?
"Ok, tell me why you’re here and go away."
"Look, SCHWARTZ!" He deliberately emphasized the last word. "The only reason I saved you was because it’s against my moral rules to let anyone die beside me if I can help it. If you plan on thanking me, don’t die again, at least not in front of my eyes, especially if I could help it."
His words were like daggers, digging into my chest. I felt torn inside as I looked into his cold and mocking eyes. I felt like I’ve lost a lover.
I froze. Lover? Where did that come from? Was I falling for this member of Weiss? How could I? I’ve barely known him for more than a few hours! Is there really love at first sight?
I heard distant calls for him as we continued staring at each other. "Go," he said suddenly, "get out of here before you’re killed. I’m not sure if I could save you this time." He turned away from me.
"Wait!" He stopped, but didn't turn around. "Can I at least know the name of my savoir?"
He breathed out, and turned to me. Surprisingly his eyes were warm and friendly. "Tsukiyono Omi." He held out his hand.
"Nagi Naoe." And I shook his hand. I felt electricity spark from my palm to each and every corner of my body. I let go suddenly.
He smiled at me, but his eyes were cold and expressionless. He ran back to the flower-shop.
I stood there, staring at the back of him. He seemed like an angel in my eyes.
**********End of Flashback*********
I feel dizzy all for a sudden, and grip my head. Bombay rushes up by my side and pulls my face away from my hands. When I look into his eyes, they were full of concern.
"Are you ok?" His full lips, so sweet, so gentle, so caring. I can’t help but imagine that he really cared.
I feel a sudden urge to kiss him and then I realize what Schuldich put in my cup… that sick bastard.
"Prodigy?" Oh get out of the way Tsukiyono; I don’t know what I’ll do next.
He doesn't. Instead he puts his chin on my forehead. "You’re developing a fever!" He exclaims. "I’d better get you home."
Yes, home in bed… with you… no! I mustn’t think of such things… Oh Omi go away! I don't want to hurt you!
"Go… away…" I say weakly, not wanting to hurt him but already the drugs are starting to effect me, I find the fact that Omi’s hands on my bare shoulders rather arousing.
"No way am I abandoning you!" He says determined. That stupid boy! "Come on Naoe-Kun, can you walk?" I stand up but my legs give away. His arm slips around my waist and he looks at me. "Better?"
That broke my already weakened determination. I grab his face and plant my lips on top of his. You asked for it Tsukiyono, you asked for it.
I gasp as he takes me in his hot tight throat. His tongue teases me as it swirls around my tip and licks the underside of my organ. It doesn’t take long for me to come hard inside his mouth.
I smirk and draw him up. I kiss him and taste myself on his tongue as I slip a tongue inside his mouth, exploring him. I can feel his desire as his organ, hard and erect, crushes against my thigh. I slip a knee between legs and rub him. He growls and pulls my pants and underwear down in a single motion. We fall back onto the couch and start kissing each other’s shoulders.
I squeeze his buttocks and smirk at his gasp, "No…" groan, "not here…" moan, "…bed…"
Confusing, but I get the message and stand up. He blushes when his eyes betray him as they drift down to a part of me. I grin and scoop him up as I carry him upstairs as fast as I could manage. Kicking open the doors when I reach there. I dump him on my bed and turns to lock the doors.
His body is suddenly pressed against my back, and his hands travel to my chest and play with my nipples. I growl and turn around catching his lips and pushing him back onto the mattress.
I move my mouth up his cheek and suckle his earlobes. He gasps and strokes down my biceps. Knowing how much he desires this, I trail my tongue downwards, tracing his jaw-line.
He strains his neck as I move down, nipping at his neck and collarbone. He has a big rose tattoo on his chest; I lick the outline of it. The heat increases and he grabs my hair and pushes my lips against his right nipple. I suck the little nub until it becomes erect and hard. I could feel the pounding of his heart as I move to the left one.
He pulls me back up and captures my lips again. Grabbing his organ, I began pumping it, sending him into hot heaven. His hand wound around my torso and he lifts his hips to meet my pumping. Meanwhile his other hand finds my desire and began to do a superb job.
We groan out loud as we climaxed on each other. I tilt my face so my nose is nuzzling his shoulder; he strokes my hair absently. And I was getting hard again. God, you’d think that was stupid, but right now a simple touch from Aya is a turn on for me.
He feels my growing desire and smirks. His legs came about my waist, and I soon realize what we’re going to do. I suck in my breath, no wonder why Yohji slept with him. He’s absolutely seducing.
After a clumsy mess at trying to stretch him with the essence of our desire and putting a condom on, I penetrate him and he throws his head back in a silent scream of ecstasy. It doesn’t take long before we climax again almost at the same time. I pull myself out of him, feeling exhausted.
He gets up and walks to my ensuite. Before he locks the door he gives me a look that clearly states an invitation.
I smirk, and do exactly what he wants.
**********Two hours later***********
I’m smoking, exhausted and frustrated. Aya is a slut, I conclude, a sex maniac, and a totally addictive drug that proved to be fatal.
He looks at me. "You know it’s going to kill you." Who? You? Of course it’s going to kill me, you’re so beautiful you’re deadly. I realize he’s talking about my cigarette.
I ignore him and take another dose of tobacco. He grabs the cigarette from my hand. For a moment I thought he was going to throw it away, but he merely puts it to his lips and inhale. Well, what a nice surprise. I’m glad my trained control kept me inside my skin.
He finishes the cigarette and butts it in my ashtray. Turning, he stares into my eyes as I mindlessly probe his mind.
Yohji Kudou the Bastard, that’s what’s on his mind.
I want to slap him. He was thinking of him all this time I’m fucking him?
He sighs, "This is a mistake," He whispers.
He continues. "…We shouldn’t be doing this Schuldich."
"And you and that Kudou bastard should?"
He looks at me. "You’re jealous." I go rigid from head to toe at that statement, yes, statement not a question.
I laugh. "Jealous? Ha, I’m never jealous."
"Oh forget It." he says, and starts to dress. I watch in silence as leaves the room. I hear the door click and breathe out. I’m gonna make you surrender me, Aya, I vow, I’m going to you to forget Yohji like you’ve never had him before.
I freeze, Naoe’s lips are so warm and inviting I can’t help but respond. After a moment of bliss I work out with my slow reaction that Naoe’s drugged. I manage to push him away much to both his and my body’s discomforts.
He stares at me for a moment. Then grabs my shirt, pulling me to him again. I push him back a little too hard this time. I gaze into his hungry eyes and shudder, god he looks so dangerous. He advances towards me and I shrink back and feel my back press against a wall. I stare up in terror when I realize he’s using what's little left his powers to control me and pin me to the wall. I close my eyes, knowing my doom is near.
Surprisingly I feel him release me and I shudder again, but before I could ask him what’s wrong, he ran out of the ally at his fastest.
Shit. I can’t just let a drugged 17 year old run off into some rapist in this part of the city. I run after him and grab his thin waist.
He shoves against me, and tries to use his telekinesis against me. It proves to be totally useless because of the drugs. I reach into his pockets and draw up Schuldich’s keys. Then I go back and push him into the Mercedes Benz and start the car. I drive to our apartment.
Aya-Chan is on the verge of breaking when I arrive. "Where WERE you?" She cries, "You DO realize you should have at least told me before you left..."
"I’m sorry." I tell her softly. When I look sideways I realize Naoe is asleep beside me. I got out and carry him in my arms. Aya-Chan realizes who he is and gasps.
"That’s SCHWARTZ you’re carrying!"
"Aya!" I complain. "You aren’t always this jumpy."
"Sorry, I’ve been worried." She tells me.
I smile as I ascend up to my room. "He’s drugged," I tell Aya as I put Naoe on my bed and close the door. "He’ll be no harm to us, but we must help him."
Aya nods, "It’s just like you to save one of your former enemies."
The door opens bringing in a gust of cold night air and Ran-Kun steps inside and shuts the door. He turns to me. "Can I speak to you alone Omi?"
Aya looks at both of us. "I’ll make you some coffee." She begins to walk away.
"We’ll be up in my room." Ran-Kun tells her. The moment she steps into the kitchen. He drags me upstairs into his room and bolts the door, throwing me on his bed.
The force of it is so strong I fall backwards. "God Ran, you don’t have to twist my arm. I CAN walk you know." I complain. Sitting up and rubbing the new bruise on my bare biceps.
He simply stares at me, using his Aya-death-glare. I try to be innocent and fail.
"Ok I’m sorry." I tell him. "But I was really interested, do you always go to that club Ran? Do you always end up in bed with Schuldich?" I taunt him, I was sick when I saw them making out on the dance floor and had to go to the bathroom.
He frowns. "Why did you follow me?"
"I told you, I was curious. You would be as well if I went to some unknown place every night."
"Why is Schwartz’s car outside the apartment?"
"Prodigy was drugged, and I drove him here, he’s in my room sleeping right now."
"Where did you get those pants?"
I feel like I’m facing a judge that if I don’t answer truthfully, I would be sent to jail. "What that got to with everything?"
He raises a delicate eyebrow, his cold eyes taunting. I understand more of Yohji’s decision by the minutes. Ran-Kun is so hard to satisfy. "I got them from Yohji," I tell him; "he gave them to me as a April fool’s gift and I didn’t have the heart to throw it out."
He looks at me, then his features soften and he sits down next to me. Silence stretches and I can’t control my curiosity anymore. "Ran-Kun, how long has it been since you started… uh… being with Schuldich?"
"Today’s my first time."
I stare at him. "You’re kidding me."
He shakes his head. "I’ve never seen him around in other clubs."
"He was so much like Yohji…" I shut up when I hear that sentence. Yes, same green mocking eyes, same smirk, same bad habit of trying to kill him self with a cancer stick, same playboy manner and wanting to sleep with anything with two legs and can walk, they’re even alike when they tease a younger boy. I put my hand on Ran-kun’s shoulder and he gently sighs.
"He reminded me of him, and I couldn’t stop myself. I thought I’d have forgotten Yohji Omi. I was wrong, there is always a part of him in my heart, pulling and tugging at it."
And that means there’s no chance between you and me. I finish for him silently. I don’t know how long I’ve had a crush on him, and it seems that I couldn’t grow out of it, no matter what life taught me. I still blush when he touches me and I’m so self- conscious beside him I feel silly.
Aya knocks and brings us 2 cups of black coffee. She was about to sit down when Naoe appears at the door. I saw Ran-Kun reaching for his katana and stop him silently.
Naoe looks at me, then at Aya and Ran-Kun. "I’m sorry for bothering you. I…" He’s about to continue but he collapses on the floor, unconscious. Ran walks beside him and picks him up.
"He can sleep on the couch, I’ll drive him back tomorrow."
It’s two in the afternoon when I wake up. As I feel a soft body beside me, I throw my leg across it absently. And feel it squirm. I nudge the small head under my chin grab the thin waist, that is when I realize that something is wrong, but the body was so warm and comfortable I snuggle it closer to me. Feeling it’s rough clothing scratch my naked skin.
Growling I shred the body free of clothing and feel if squirm again. I open my eyes to stare into a pair of petrified blue eyes. "Nagi?"
"Let go of me Schuldich." He wriggles a bit, and I release him. He grabs the clothes I shredded and starts dressing again. I smirk when I saw the faint blush he had.
/Had a bad dream? / I purr.
"Shut up and stay out of my mind."
/Make me. /
He merely shakes his head, and I decide to examine what’s really on his mind.
SchuldichisnotOmiSchuldichisnotOmiSCHULDICH IS NOT OMI!
Ha, so this is what’s wrong with the chibi. I laugh mercilessly into his mind. /Well, well, well look who’s on our prince’s mind. /
/Fuck you, bastard. /
I wince. "Ouch, that hurt Nagi."
He finishes dressing and gives me a stern look.
"Fuck you, bastard."
I laugh as he slams the door in my face. I love taunting my chibi. I still don’t recall how I went to bed with Aya, and ended up cuddling next to Nagi. But nevertheless, I don’t care.
Nagi was drinking coffee as I enter the living room. He had a cup out for me. I smirk and sit next to him on the love seat, a bit too closely.
He looks at me. "Get out of my face."
I laugh and plant an extra big and extra loud kiss on his cheek. "Sure, sure chibi."
He shakes his head and moves to the single sofa and turned on the TV. We are silent for the next half an hour, both of us troubled.
I was brooding over how to get Aya to fall in love with me. It seems impossible, since his mind is so filled with that Kudou bastard. Experience taught me it’s easy to seduce someone, especially if they’ve just broken up. But it also taught me it’s extremely hard to make someone fall in love with you, especially if you don’t want to get emotionally tangled with that person. I sourly wonder if I, the never fail mastermind, will be a failure at this.
Nagi meanwhile is brooding over a certain Weiss, whom, by the looks of it, had saved his life. I smile when I realize Nagi is having a crush on the older boy. "Do you need me to drive you to Koneko no Sume Ie?"
He glares at me.
I laugh my mocking laugh and jump up, grabbing my jacket and keys, which are neatly laid beside the phone. Must be Aya, I conclude. I turn to Nagi when I reach the door. "Don’t bother about dinner, we’ll eat out."
"Where are you going?" I smile. For once it was just a friendly and reassuring smile to tell him not to worry. Nagi and I have been living in the same house ever since Farfello was sent into the mental institute and Crawford went to America. I know Nagi personally preferred Crawford than me, but too bad, he was stuck with me. Even as I try to deny it, I know we’ve grown to care about each other, maybe even like each other a little.
"Out, don’t worry, I won’t die." I slam the door and hear his sigh. Maybe one day, Nagi will realize how much I’ve put into trying to adopt him. I know he’s better off with me than Crawford. I know Crawford won’t protect him as I do.
Maybe, I smirk; I might even like this kid a lot.
When I get to Koneko I see Aya and his sister working and chatting. Aya even smiles at his sister sometime. I walk in and lean on the counter. Aya sees me and freezes.
He drags me outside into the back ally. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"Now, now Aya-Kun…"
"What do you want Schuldich? I’ve drove Naoe back haven’t I?"
"Why would I bother about that brat?" I roll my eyes. "I came here to see YOU."
"Could you blame me that you are so damn good looking?"
He blushes, glaring at me.
/I can’t help it…RAN. /
"Schuldich, it’s a mistake…"
/God damn it it’s a mistake! It was the best mistake in my fucking life! Fucking Jesus where did you get those lips? / I scream in his head. /I can’t help it if I’m attracted to you. /
He stares at me, "What?"
/Yeah you heard me. I’m attracted to you, haven’t anybody else told that to you before? / I ask and probe his mind at the same time.
Fuck he’s comparing me with that Kudou bastard again. He apparently has said the same things to Aya.
I’m angry, furious actually, how do you get your lover (or sort of love, what ever) to actually look at you without seeing his ex at the same time if you are so much like his ex?
Aya looks at me, his violet orbs intruding; "Do you mean what you say?"
I don’t answer; instead I simply lean in and kiss him.
He struggles for a instant, then give in, our kiss deepens and I feel myself getting aroused, just as I feel some metal fixing behind my neck.
Damn my inability to remain concentrated…
"Do not attempt to move or you will find yourself in hell." I know that voice… the Weiss girl, Birman I think was her name…
My mouth is still on Aya’s and I still have a hard on, but all the same I don’t move.
"Now slowly take your mouth off Aya and walk backwards with your hand behind your head…" I close my eyes and with a strong mental shove, the Weiss girl falls down, unconscious.
Damn him! Damn him and his mental powers. I shove Schuldich backwards and kneel down beside the woman that was once so close to us. "Birman-San…"
"You know she’s not going to be alive for quite a while…" Schuldich says behind me.
"Shut up!" I snap. I am so angry right now that I can’t think straight. Faces come rushing back from a part of my memory I so desperately want to forget…
Omi was bleeding, sometime in the building before the explosion went off he had cut his thigh, Ken was unconscious, his head was in my lap as I try in vain calling him back to life. Yohji was hovering beside me, tending my own wound. Then I heard a car screech and Manx came running towards us.
"Oh my god!" She exclaimed, "What on earth happened? Abyssinian?"
I looked up, my vision blurred by the blood that seeped through from my wound on my left eyebrow, "Schwartz."
One word and everybody shut up. It was enough to explain the whole situation.
Manx looked up. "Guards!" She cried, " Run!"
We ran, Yohji lifted Ken from my lap and carried him, Ken wasn’t exactly weightless so he was so much behind us that when he cried out for help, only Manx and I heard it.
We ran back, my katana slashing the guards and Manx’s gun firing off at 100 bullets per minute. Yohji was having a hard time trying to save him, let along protecting Ken. Then suddenly I cried out, a guard was aiming directly at my lover.
Time seemed to freeze. Everything froze in mid action as I stared as the carefully aimed bullet flew towards Yohji.
It never hit him; Manx was in the way.
I remember slashing my way through to them, my katana never missing one target, one by one they all fell, and the last one standing was frozen with fear, the gun still in his hands. Furious, my hands worked their usual routine and before I realized it, nobody could ever recognize that person’s face anymore.
Guards are just bodies to fill body bags.
Slowly I turned back, Yohji was kneeling on the ground, Ken abandoned beside him. Omi was crying and Manx… "No." I whispered hoarsely, "no, no, no…"
I knelt down besides her, leaning onto my katana. Yohji was cradling her head, she was bleeding, but all of us were already so drenched in blood I didn’t think anyone could be anymore saturated, even with water. "Yohji," she was whispering. "Yohji…"
"I’m here, shh, you’re going to be alright…"
"I know you…" blood bubbled out of her mouth and ran down her chin, " you like Aya but…" another splatter of blood, "but I love…" her head dropped.
"Manx!" Yohji shouted. "Manx!"
"No…" Omi sobbed. I felt tears overflowing my face, I, the statue of ice and stone, was crying.
"She’s dead…" Yohji cried, his tears were flowing down freely, mingling with blood. "NO!"
I blink, shuddering at the memory of the death of Manx. I look at Birman and hear Schuldich call out behind me. "Hey!"
I turn and shove Schuldich against the wall. "What did you do to her?" My voice spiced up with anger.
"Whoa, easy love, I didn’t kill her." He smirks, "She was trying to kill me."
I want to strangle him. As much as I despise my former career, I cared for all my colleagues. Before I know what was happening I found my fingers tightening around his throat. He grabs my wrist and twists it behind me painfully.
"Whom did she mean when she said ‘I love…’" It takes me while to realize he means Manx. I gaze into the green orbs.
"I don’t know."
His grip tightens and I wince in pain, "How could you not know?"
I really don’t, she might have meant Yohji, who always flirted with her, or she could have meant me… we did have an one night stand once…
/ When? /
I glare at him. /Get out of my mind bastard and let go of me. /
/Why should I? It’s getting interesting. /
Why should you? God I don’t think I’ve met anyone with a more twisted mind saves that Bazerker. Can’t he feel it from my mind? It HURTS!
He lets go of me so suddenly that I stumble and hit the ground. I hear Birman groan behind me and turn. She opened her eyes.
"Thank you for shopping at Koneko no Sume Ie." I smile and hand my customer her change and arrangements. Where was Ran-Kun? He’s supposed to do the delivery and he’s late. Ran, the workaholic, is late.
Checking to make sure there were no customers at the moment, I go to the back door to check up on Ran. I freeze when I saw whom he’s with.
"B…Birman -San?" I gasp. I haven’t seen any of my former colleagues for the last two years.
Birman smiled at me. "How are you Bombay… I mean Tsukiyono?"
"It’s really you!" I cried, and fling myself onto her. "It’s really you!"
Birman pats my hair. "Yes, yes Omi. I’ve missed you too."
"Excuse me but are you always this sentimental?" A deep voice greets me. I turn my head up.
"What are you doing here Schuldich?" I snarl.
"I was about to ask the same thing." Birman says, looking at Ran-Kun.
"Came to see Aya." Schuldich finishes for him, "looks like it wasn’t a great idea." He turns away.
Schuldich is half way across the road when Birman stops him. "Master mind."
He turns around. "Sorry if I disappoint you, but I’m kind of getting tired of all this."
"We need your help." Birman says simply.
"What?" All three of us gasp.
"Why do we need a Schwartz?" I ask.
"I need all of your help."
"Wait, wait." Schuldich walks back to us. "Slow down, take it from the beginning."
"Ok, I’m going to give it to you as a mission. I’m you haven’t forgotten Masafumi Taketori have you?"
"That wimp?" Schuldich sneers. "The crazy scientist who has those women who can’t fight properly for bodyguards?"
"Yes, well, Masafumi died just a few weeks ago." I flinch, I wonder if anybody know that I killed Masafumi.
"Who are you?"
"You are Taketori Mamoru…"
"Show us… kill Masafumi… kill your own brother…"
I walked to the factory alone. It was the first time I did a mission on my own. When I reached there I heard sounds that I instantly recognized as the sound of making love.
"Oh… harder… harder…" It was a member of Schienend, the youngest member I remember. They called her Tot.
"You little bitch, take this…" Masafumi was panting.
This continued on for at least 10 minutes while I pondered on that how on earth am I going to finish this mission and escape being embarrassed. Finally I decided to just crash open the door and take Masafumi’s life.
This I did. I never thought I could be so cold hearted, killing off a guy who wasn’t capable of defending himself at that moment. I escaped the room as fast as I could. Leaving the howling of Tot behind me.
********End of Flashback**********
"Omi!" I snap out of living in my memories.
"As I was saying…"Birman continued… "Masafumi died, but Schreient haven’t and his lab isn’t destroyed. I need somebody to destroy it. It was the last wish of Persia."
"Persia died?" I gasp.
"Yes. I personally think it should be destroyed as well. It contains all the DNA analyses and his scientific experiments. It also has many radioactive ingredients that if they are released, I could not imagine the harm to this world. Now, I ask you, former Weiss members to do this because you are the only ones who actually know anything about this mad scientist. And you seem to be the only ones who could take on Schreient and destroy the building…"
"So if the two kitties could handle all this, why me?" Schuldich smirks.
"No, Weiss could handle it, a part of Weiss could not."
"You’re asking ME to help Weiss?" Schuldich rolls his eyes. "Incase you had amnesia, I’m Schwartz, I’m supposed to help MASAFUMI!"
She stares into the green orbs of Schuldich’s eyes.
Schuldich stares straight back at her. After a while she winces but remains silent. I could tell that they are communicating silently.
After god knows how long, Birman suddenly bursts into tears. Ran-Kun rushes to aid her. Schuldich snorts and turn away.
"What did you tell her?" I ask angrily, eyes fixing on his face.
"Basically nothing" he mutters under his breath, "weak woman." He proceeds to walk towards his car.
"Are you coming?" I rush forward and grab his sleeve.
"What Omittchi? Love me too much to let me go?" he smirks.
I let go abruptly. "I’m so glad I don’t have to work with you."
He smirks again. "Don’t be so sure about that, you never know. See you again, Omittchi. After all," he leans in close to my ear, "You don’t want anybody else knowing the how Masafumi REALLY died…"
I watch in silence as he drives away. Then turn to see Birman shakes off Ran-Kun’s hand and driving away also.
"What was that all about?" I ask.
He grunts and turns back towards the shops, ignoring my sentence as usual.
The doorbell rings just as I’m about to complete installing the latest virus detector. I curse slightly and open the door. My book drops from my hands.
"Where is Schuldich?" Not a greeting not even anything related me. It’s been like this ever since… god knows when. Schuldich didn’t care shit about anybody else, and still doesn’t. For him, he sees the world as to revenge for, because he was suffering the world therefore has to suffer with him. Crawford on the other hand didn’t have the heart and TIME to care shit about anything else in the world other than him. Though he’s saner than Schuldich and our former teammate Farfello, he’s still about he most selfish thing ever on this world, the difference between him and Schuldich is he is more reasonable and Schuldich is more irrational and emotional.
But they care less about anybody or anything in the world, let along me. I didn’t know why they insisted on being my guardian after Schwarz disbanded- they even fought over me. Crawford NEVER fought unless it was absolutely essential.
"Naoe Nagi, you aren’t answering my question."
"He’s out." I answer, I never liked either of them and they probably didn’t like me, though I’d preferred to have stayed with Crawford, I know that if I did, I would have made a big mistake.
"I don’t know."
"When will he be back?"
"I’m not sure."
"You aren’t being helpful Nagi." I remain silent on that remark. Crawford didn’t take note of the absence of my answer. He walks into the room and hangs his coat on the hook, like he hadn’t being away for a full 2 years. I watch him as he walks into the kitchen and proceeds to make himself a cup of coffee. He hasn’t changed, but he did replace his glasses with contact lens. I sit down on a barstool and lean on my hands studying him. As I expected, he gets impatient.
"Don’t you have something more important to do?" he asks.
"Can’t you foresee it?" I reply. He looks up in surprise, not expecting me to do so.
"You’ve living too long with Schuldich. I should’ve taken care of you. Maybe you’d be in one of the top universities in the world by now, you are way smarter than the others."
"Is that why you came back?"
"Partly, but…" the turnings of the keys from the hallway made both of us stop and turn our heads to see Schuldich staring at the cloth-hook.
"Nagi? Is this one of your very sick jokes because it’s not very funny." He turns and stops, staring at Crawford, not believing his eyes.
I wait for some sadistic comment spoken by Crawford. When it doesn’t come I turn to Crawford. He was staring at Schuldich as if he had committed some unforgivable crime and only pretending to be innocent. "Where have you been?"
"To a friends place."
"Was the friend by any chance one of our former enemies?"
"Brad! You’re doubting your powers?" Schuldich smirks.
"Did they ask you to go on a mission with them."
"Yes to both." Schuldich walks past both of us and pours a cup of newly-made coffee. Taking a sip, he continues, "I refused." He reaches for a cigarette.
"You are a fool then." Crawford leans over and pours himself a cup also. I sigh, never one for me, never one for anybody except for them. I was about to grab the mug with my powers when Schuldich grabs it and pours me a cup, handing it to me.
"Do you mean that I’m a fool because I can’t tell the future? Then everybody in the world are fools except for you."
"No, you should have accepted because it would allow you to go into the laboratories, and uncover some very important facts about you, about all of us."
Schuldich looks up, "What facts?" but even as he spoke, we both have the answer in our head. Crawford NEVER tells us his premonitions, unless it’s about a mission. And he doesn’t disappoint me.
"You’ll find out if you go there."
" ‘You’, as in you’re not coming?"
Crawford shakes his head. "Why should I? One of us would do more than enough."
I feel like somebody has just grabbed my chest and twisted it. He doesn’t even bother mentioning about me.
"What about Nagi?"
"What ABOUT Nagi? Why he’s staying here entertaining me of course." Crawford smirks. His smirks are even more frightening than Schuldich’s, because they never reach his eyes. "Talking about Nagi reminds me of another thing, I mentioned to Nagi earlier. Schuldich, do you realize that you have stayed in the same house with possibly the world’s smartest kid for two years?"
"You should get him trained, I don’t want his brain wasted."
"And I don’t want him to become a boring bastard like you." Schuldich retorts.
"Maybe boring bastards are better than half-sane German sentimentalists." He turns to me. "Nagi? Do you want to study in Harvard? My house is near it and in America, you are legal to drive now, so you don’t need me. And I could manage all your living requirements. It’s an once in a lifetime opportunity."
"Nagi," Schuldich looks at me, wanting to say something then changes his mind. "Never mind."
"You don’t have to work for you fees, you will live in a much better condition, and you will be able to study for free, I doubt anybody could afford to let one such as you escape." Crawford empties his cup of coffee. "Besides, you’ll probably meet the girl of your dreams."
"The girl of my dreams kissed me and you slapped me because of it." I state neutrally. Though I know he did it for the mission, I would never forgive him for it.
"You’ve CERTAINLY been living with Schuldich too long." He sighed. "He isn’t the best teacher of manners. Indeed, I doubt he was ever been taught them before."
I realize the sudden change in Crawford at that moment. He never bothered to tease Schuldich before. I divert my gaze to Schuldich. He’s fuming, though the smirk remains on his face you can see two bright brown flames furrowing in his eyes and brows. Why is Crawford doing it? I mentally ask.
/I have no idea. / Schuldich, having obviously stayed in my mind for a while, answers. /I can’t read a thing from his mind, just like the olden days. /
/That is no excuse for entering my mind. Get out. / I command him. To my surprise he obeys and I turn to Crawford.
"So? Have you decided?"
"Give me time." I answer him. "I need to consider it."
His brows knit together suddenly, and he looses his patience. "Not only have you been living with Schuldich too long, he’s been treating you so well you’re turning into a spoilt brat. Such an opportunity and you have to CONSIDER IT? I would’ve grabbed it the moment I heard it." I’m about to reply but he holds up his hand. "I’ve had enough with you two. Is my room still as it is?"
"Don’t bother, if it’s not I’ll sleep in the study." He cuts Schuldich off. And grabbing his suitcase, he goes upstairs, his boots thumping.
I stare after him. " Schuldich?" I murmur. He squeezes my hand, I turn to meet his jade eyes, surprised to see them so filled with anger and detest. His mask slams down and he smirks.
"Crawford’s right, you’re treating me so well I’m becoming spoilt. So spoilt I might even believe you care for me." I tell him. Then sudden waves of courage flows into me; don’t ask me where it comes from. But before I know it I’m kissing his forehead, my thin arms sliding onto his shoulders.
I expect him to push me away. And he does. "Chibi…" I look down, blushing.
"Are you going?"
I shake my head. "I think…"
Bastards, sick bastards, I curse under my breath as I see my room filled to the ceiling junk. Why did they put it in here anyway? Shouldn’t they put it in Farfello’s cell? I throw my suitcase inside the study and sink down into the bed.
I’m having trances or white outs whichever way you might take it. I snap into a vision and I could only stare at it until it ends. It’s happened before, rarely though, but it’s getting more and more frequent. And nearly all of them are about Schuldich, Nagi, or Weiss. A particular few had repeating itself. As if my 6th sense is becoming so anxious and alert, as if it’s urging me to come back here and help.
Trusting my instincts had been a big mistake.
I hear a knocking on the door, "Crawford?"
"Come in, Nagi."
He walks up and sits down beside me. "I’ve decided. I’m not going." He holds up his hands. "Before you lecture me for 2 hours and reason with me and list out all the very good reasons going and all the possible future for me. I’ll tell you my reason. The one I love is here, in Japan, and won’t leave it."
"You’re choosing a girl over your future?"
"A guy? You’re gay?"
He blushes and nods.
I widen my eyes, "A fucking guy over Harvard? You are insane, more insane than that Farfello. But it’s your decision " I sigh, "I’ll give you a month to consider. No don’t argue, things could happen in 1 month, and you might change your decision."
Suddenly I feel a vision descending on me. Before I know what’s happening, I see Schuldich and the leader of Weiss grab a blue cube simultaneously, and blue light spark through them as both screams out, exploding sound could be heard but to my horror both fall to the ground as the whole room crumbles.
I shout out loud and the vision left me. I hear this huge buzz in my head that won’t go away. Somehow Schuldich is suddenly kneeling in front of me and shaking my shoulders. His lips are moving and his eyes anxious, but I can’t hear a thing because of the buzzing and instead of decreasing, it grows louder until everything was a blur and I can only concentrate on that noise. Slowly everything goes black.
When I wake up Schuldich’s placing a wet towel on my forehead. It’s still throbbing like a bitch. Nagi is sitting on a chair; his eyes fix on his hands in his lap. He looks up at Schuldich when he comes to stand beside him and touch his hair. He grabs Schuldich’s hand and holds it…
It suddenly occurs to me the fact that Nagi is probably in love with Schuldich, but I couldn’t continue as my head give me such a sharp sting I groan out loud.
The quickly look my way, Schuldich yanks his hand back not too lightly, as if he’s disgusted. I catch the disappointment in Nagi’s face. However he rushes forward and peers in my eyes. "Crawford? Are you ok?"
"What just happened?" Schuldich asks. "Are you taking drugs? I’ve never seen you like this." His eyes are so stormy, the pupils so large that it made his eyes look almost brown.
"Let me assure you I’m not stupid enough to do drugs, and I have had trances like this, though you probably won’t remember. I was simply having a vision."
"It was about me wasn’t it? I heard you scream my name."
I nod. "But it was more than that. Schuldich, are you going to go tonight?"
"Since you told me I might find something important I will."
"Maybe you shouldn’t."
He’s still as easily provoked as before, "Are you trying to frustrated me? First you tell me yes, now you tell me no. Do you want me to go or not?" He paces around the room.
"I’m only worried about your safety Schuldich."
‘Then I won’t go. Tell me what information I might find and I’ll stay and be safe as you say."
"You know I can’t do that Schuldich."
"Fine, I’ll go and please blame yourself if I die. Though I doubt it, I’ve had worse enemies than Schreient. I’ve pulled through 27 years haven’t I?" His grin is back, though they are added with a tint of anger, the smell of storm.
"Do as you like, I can only see the future, I doubt I could change it though." my head is throbbing again and I’m getting tired of Schuldich’s whining.
Schuldich grabs a pillow from the spare sofa suddenly and throws it at me. "Damn you!" he shouted, throwing another pillow, and another. "Go rot in hell! I can’t stand this!" I would’ve blocked the pillows if my head isn’t stinging. But I know that even in my normal state, it would’ve been hard to match Schuldich’s speed.
Nagi stops them using his powers. "Schuldich calm down."
"He’s the one that’s confusing me."
"I am not the one with manipulation powers."
"You don’t need manipulation powers to drive me and everybody in the world up the wall!"
"How? You already drove all the world’s population up the wall!"
"You are one sick bastard you know that?"
"Look who’s talking! Piling junk in my room! Ha! And you’re calling ME a sick bastard!"
"You son of a…"
"Splash!" Our clothes suddenly soak with water. Nagi stands with arms outstretched beside us.
"If that doesn’t cool you two down I’ll have to throw you two into the fridge, and you guys mightn’t fit." He lifts one eyebrow, "Are we all civilized enough to talk rationally?" We nod, or rather I nod and Schuldich grunts. "Good," he smiles. "Now sit down and let’s talk." Schuldich slams down onto the chair while I sit back down on the bed.
Nagi glances at me and then at Schuldich. "You know how immature you two can get at times? I feel like I’m a babysitter, yet you two are so much taller and older than me."
Neither of us find it funny, but I smile, for Nagi’s sake.
Suddenly Schuldich leaps up. "I’ve had enough of this, I can’t stand it. I can’t stand it!" He literally zooms into his room and grabs his coat, then he comes back in and kicks one of the legs of the tables, a secret shelf emerges and he turn the dial so the door opens. He grabs a gun and a packet of ammunitions. Stuffing them in his pocket, he takes one last look at us. "You two disgust me." with that, he rushes out.
I hear a sigh beside me. Nagi looks so lost and small suddenly. "Crawford? Did he mean it? Did I really disgust him so much that he can’t stand being beside me? How could he? He was just holding my hand a moment ago…"
"You’ll understand a bit better after tonight."
That fucking bastard of a bitch! I swear one day he’s going to get it, and who’ll be laughing then!
Coincidental it might be, funny it isn’t. I’ve had just about enough of that German moron. God, it was enough that he’s humiliating me, now Omi? What does this guy think he is? Or probably, his ego simply took up too much space for him to have any brain-cells left in that skull of his.
I drive up to the sea. That’s where I always go for escape. It use to be the rooftop until Yohji found me there, after he left I try to avoid it as much as possible.
When I arrive there it’s past six, a storm is brooding and the sea looks darker than usual. The beach is closed- a person drowned this morning, though I doubt anybody would swim this late. I rest my head on my hands and close my eyes.
"Aya!" I sigh as I recognize the voice. What is HE doing here?
"To find you of course." Schuldich sits next to me, a bit TOO close. I move away. God this guy is a PEST! Besides, WHY would he come and find me.
"You didn’t answer my question."
I look at him in confusion, what question? He didn’t ask me any question…
"Do you like me?"
I mentioned about Schuldich’s ego didn’t I?
"No." and get away from me, plain and simple.
"Aya…" He whines.
"What did you tell Birman?" I ask.
"Nothing, I simply transferred your thoughts to her. You know, the bit about how Manx died…"
I stare at him, shocked. Why would he do that?
/Because, I don’t want to leave her wondering. She was doing exactly that when she started going on and on about Kritiker. I thought that would shut her up. It worked. /
Stay out of my mind…
/Make me. /
My cell-phone rings, I pick it up. "Hello?"
"A…Ran? It’s’ me, Birman."
"I just want to say please finish the mission by tomorrow night. That’s all, Omi should know the address."
I hang up before she finishes.
Schuldich looks at me, "You’re some cold bastard, sometimes I even think you are colder than Crawford."
I ignore him and stand up, jumping down over the fence and onto the beach; Japanese beaches somewhat reminds me of French movies, instead of all that golden and soft sand, it is always hard and pebbly. Schuldich follows me, then catches up with me. We walk side by side along the rocky beach. I’m staring at the sunset and the beautiful colors it casts on the ripples of the harbor, I think he’s staring at me.
"So when are we going?"
"Tonight, 8 p.m." I said, using my best cold-bastard-Abyssinian-leader-of-Weiss voice. "You should grab your weapon."
"You mean this?" He holds up a small handgun and twirls it around his index finger.
I nod and turn back towards the sea. The sun has set and the clouds in the east are all rimmed with gold. I sit down on the pebbly beach and he sits down beside me. After awhile he reaches for my hand, I let him take it. He turns them around and examines my callus fingers. After awhile he puts them to his lips. I pull away.
"It’s nearly 7, we should go back, Omi will be expecting me…and you."
He smirks, "Isn’t that sweet. Our Omi all worried and bunched up." He sends me a mental image of Omi’s face, crying. I realize it’s the same expression when Ouka died.
I glare at him. He’s taunting as usual, his mouth curved into his famous Schuldich smirk. I stare into the jade depths and see a reflection of my face.
I sigh and look down towards my feet as I stand up and start walking back. Schuldich, despite to the enormous ego and the brain the size of a ladybug, was extremely sexy and attractive. Of course, he had to be for I never sleep with anybody not attractive or sexy.
We’ve reached the car park now and for a moment Schuldich catches my eyes. / Whose car? /
Mine of course, I don’t think Omi would trust Schuldich enough to actually sit in the same car as him, let along him driving it.
Bombay is rambling on about the data he collected about Schreient. Aya nods occasionally to assure him that he’s listening. Though that his mind isn’t on it at all, instead he’s pondering on the rare few words I uttered to him on that beach. / Well, well, what do we have here? /
/ Get out! /
/ Make me. /
He utters curses in his head that would make Omi faint if he actually heard them. After a while he gives up, /What do you want? /
/ For you to like me. / I smirk, maybe I should fine another way to seduce him, but watching him being humiliated is so fun and agonizing.
/ Fuck off! /
/ My, my, the language you utter dearest. You’d make Farfello laugh with glee. /
/ Goddamn you! /
I couldn’t continue our little conversation because Aya halts the car in the middle of no where. "What the heck?"
In the middle of the road there is a tank across it. My eyes widen when I see that the ammunitions are all aimed at our car.
Great, this is really good. Is it just I or is Weiss bad luck? We're not even half way there yet.
"Get out of here!" I cry as I grab the door-handle and yank open the side door. Aya and Omi do the same. We are barely outside when we are thrown down onto the ground by the force of the explosion of the car.
"My Porsche!" Aya mutters beside me. He is not given much time to mourn as four figures emerging from the tank, jumping down and aiming their guns at us. The smoke clears to reveal the youngest member of doomed Schreient.
"Don’t move." I smirk, reaching into her mind to find that she doesn’t even know who we are. Cute, innocent look on her face, you’d have mistaken her as a schoolgirl if she isn’t wearing that stupid suit that hugs her body and holding a rifle that could mean death to anyone with in 100 meters from her in radius.
/ I’ll distract her while you take her down. / I send to Aya. / Maybe chibi could take care of the other three. /
He grunts, but agrees in his mind. I put my hands
"Well, well, who do we have here? Tot, dearest child, how’s life been after all these years?" I laugh at the blank look on her face and the million questions racing through her head. . "You don’t seem to remember me, what a shame. Don’t you remember Reiji? Don’t you remember Masafumi, you ‘papa’?"
Tot’s lips trembles, "Papa is…" She doesn’t get to finish the sentence as a gleaming silver pokes out of her from her back, glistering in blood. For a moment I worry about the fact that Nagi will hate me for life, then remembers that he doesn’t even like the little bitch anymore. Aya pulls his katana out of her as she slumps to the ground, spluttering blood on his trench coat.
The other three members of the group immediately attack us. Omi has joined us sometime and now he charges at the one with the glasses, Neu. Aya runs towards Schoenen while I take care of Hell. She manages to scrape Omi’s hamstrings before I could get a good shot, she slump to the ground on top of Tot, dead as a doornail. At the same time I hear Omi grunt, he’s fallen over and Neu is pointing her gun at him, ready to pull the trigger. She never got around to it though, for her body was cut in half by Aya’s katana. He turn to see that Schoenen has ran off.
"Coward." I mutter.
"Yeah." I am surprised by Omi’s sudden answer. He looks up and realizes that it was I he was replying to and blushes.
Aya is kneeling beside the car. I approach him while penetrating his weak mental shield; he doesn’t even try to stop me. I am surprised that he isn’t even worrying about his car, he’s thinking how we’re going to get to the lab.
/ You know, I could always drive. /
He sighs, / it’s no use tell you to fuck off is there? /
/ No. /
/ Fine, but you have to try and convince Omi. /
I smirk and walk up to Omi, "Hey chibi."
"What do you want?"
"Say… if I drive, will you promise not to scream?"
"Why would I be screaming if you drive?"
"You’ll be in the car…"
I don’t have time to finish my sentence, because Omi let out the loudest scream right beside my ears. "NO!"
"Gee…" Aya is somehow beside me, "That didn’t go very well."
Omi and I stare at him- the infamous ice statue Fujimiya has just made a joke.
However Omi winces and crumbles. I grab his waist and lift him up. The kid weighs nothing. He struggles in my arms. "Let GO of me."
Aya looks irritated and I slip into Omi's mind. / Looks like our ice queen is not on a high. /
Aya glared at me and I shuddered unconsciously. Those eyes are amazing…
Silence descends. I slowly lower Omi down on the ground. Aya kneels down and starts treating the wound. I slip into his mind / So, what do we think? Are we going to risk riding in the Schuldich-mobile? /
Aya glares at me again. / You saw how Omi reacted. We'll take a cab. /
I roll my eyes. / Pure genius, Ran. Do you think it's possible that we can get away with this mission when a cab driver knows about this? /
Aya glares at me again. Suddenly I wonder if my face would have holes next morning. / You can manipulate can't you? /
I smirk. And take out my mobile phone.
Soon cab approaches. Before Aya can get on, however, I concentrate and do a little mental blast that effectively puts the driver to sleep. I walk back to where I laid Omi down and pick him up in the same manner as before. I dump him in the back with the driver Aya has hulled out and shoved in and turn to see the driver seat taken.
I roll my eyes, always the insistent red head.
Soon we arrive at the company. I smirk and watch Aya scowl at Omi. "No, you can’t go. Your leg is still bleeding like hell and you aren’t fit to go."
"No," He sighs. "Look, I know how to set a time bomb and Schuldich knows how to protect me. We’ll be fine."
Omi sighs. "Fine, but I’m not staying in this car."
"There isn't a time bomb in here chibi." I mock.
"Can’t be too careful,” Omi says.
We finally decide to leave Omi outside the car, he looks pretty bad leaning against the cab but nevertheless. Aya and I walk into the entrance and face 7 different doors. All of them are leading to different directions.
"The one on the right." Aya says expressionless.
We are silent for the rest of the walk. Aya’s instinct leads us into a dead end. He says nothing but turn back and tries the one on the left.
After 5 such attempts we finally get to the computers. But not before we have to face 40 machine guns going off at us and dodging flying razor disks that chopped off a bit my hair.
Aya quietly sets the time bomb for 40 seconds. "Let’s go."
We turn around to see the exit doors locking themselves.
"Fuck!" I shout and dive towards the other doors. Aya follows me and we barely make it out of the control room. We hit the floor hard.
Aya stands up and gives me a hand unconsciously. He was staring at the far end of the room. A blue glowing substance was the only light source in the room. We approach it and see that it was a cube containing some blue liquid, underneath is a pile of documents, they are labeled ‘Schwartz’.
"What’s that?" I proceed to drag out the documents. The blue cube falls from it and Aya and I catch it at the same time.
Time freezes. And I feel the coolness of the cube run from my fingertips straight up my arm and into my chest, it the spreads throughout my body and I scream. My body feels like it’s trying to squeeze out my soul. Then it was over and I drop the cube.
"20 seconds left, run!" for once, I obey and dash out towards the self-locking doors.
We barely make it outside the building before the bomb goes off. I am thrown on the ground and I felt a heavy object hit my head.
"Aya?" I sit up, turn to my left and….
"What the fuck?" A voice shouts out.
I am sitting on my left, no wait, I’m here, so how could I be there? But the person beside me, who is also staring at me with astonishment, looks EXACTLY like me. He has the same hair, same eyes, same clothes… same everything. I probe into his mind and find him wondering exactly the same question as I am.
I pinch myself hard. No, no dream, and I don’t have hallucinations. Then I sense some thoughts that are linked with early this evening, the beach, the flower shop and the…
Wait a minute, the flower shop?
"Aya?!" My voice sounds strange to myself.
"Schuldich?" He stands up. Then realizes that he still has the documents I pulled. "What the fuck happened?"
"Good question. Why do you look like me?"
We both turn to the pile of shattered glass beside us.
Aya and Schuldich stare up at us. Except they are the wrong way around. When I raise my hand it’s Aya who raises his hand in the reflection. We look at each other, and back at the reflections, then at each other again.
It takes us a moment to register what must have happened.
"Tell me it’s some kind of sick joke." Aya comments. Schuldich moves his mouth in the reflection.
"Fuck!" I shout suddenly. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I kick the pile of glass and Aya and Schuldich shatters into a million pieces. Without even thinking I draw out the katana attached to my belt and slash it into a tree nearby.
The tree fell.
Aya is biting his lips, no wait; it’s Schuldich who’s biting his lips. Then he looks up at me. "Know what? That face showed more emotions for the last 5 minutes than the former 4 years." He points at me.
"Fuck you!" I scream. "What are we supposed to do now? Where do we go? Where do we stay? Who are we anyway?"
"I’m Aya in Schuldich’s body and you are Schuldich in Aya’s body." He retorts. "Aya is suppose to go back to Koneko no Sume Ie and Schuldich to hell."
"Ha, ha," I say sarcastically, "If you go back to your house in that body Omi would die in less than fifteen minutes of fear. And the second I enter that door of mine in this body, I’d be eating about 20 bullets shot by Crawford."
He blinks. "We could always tell the others what happened?"
"What happened Aya?"
/ You tried to get the files, a cube falls, we grab it and it switched our bodies. / He retorts in his mind.
/ And you think they’ll believe it. /
He stares at me. "You could still read people’s minds." He points out to me.
"Aren’t I glad. Besides, Crawford would have my little neck if he knew about this. And the chibi would kick my ass." He knots his eyebrows, "Nagi I mean, but maybe Tsukiyono would do that as well, since he is obsessed with his leader."
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh don’t tell me you didn’t notice Omittchi’s crush on you."
He turns to me suddenly. I sense his astonishment and smirk, however just then Bombay limps toward us. Aya takes a step and holds me. "You're not supposed to move."
Omi rolls his eyes. "Whatever." He turns to me and suddenly burst into tears. "Oh my god I though I’d lost you!" He leeches onto me around my waist. His relief is so strong my mind jabs as it senses it.
Aya stares then realizes that he doesn’t know what happened.
/ Don’t, not yet. / I send into his mind. / Later, maybe, but not now, we need to sort this out ourselves. /
Bombay turns his head and asks coldly. "What?"
"Nothing." I seize the chance to un-leech him from my waist. "I’ll take you two… home."
I feel the uneasiness in his mind. / Oh don’t be so down, come and visit me sometimes and we’ll have a cup of tea in the living room… or somewhere else. /
He gives me a look and I shudder, those eyes…
Twelve, midnight and he still aren't home. I pace around anxiously, what on earth has happened? Where did he go? I pace up and down the living room in front Crawford, who is on the sofa drinking a cup of coffee. I would pause and look at him often and start pacing again.
Finally he breaks the silence. "What is wrong Nagi?"
"He’s not home."
"Calm down, he wasn’t usually home by 4 in the morning when we were working for Estet. Besides, nobody could hurt him, unless he drinks. And this time he’s on a mission and he does take his life seriously if nothing else. And if he’s about to die, I would sense it."
I sigh. Crawford is always right, always logical and reasonable. Just then the door opens and Schuldich walk in, expressionless.
"How did it go?" Crawford asks, looking up from his cup of coffee.
He remains silent. I’m surprised by the lack of emotions in his face.
He looks at me and proceeds to walk up to Crawford and hand him a thick pile of documents. "You might find it interesting."
Before we reacted, he goes into his room and shut the door.
Crawford looks at the cover page and calls me. "You’d better read this as well Nagi."
We flip to the first few pages, until I see a picture of a person I vaguely recognize I stop Crawford. "Is that…?"
"The former Schwartz leader. They found him dead after their last mission, his face shoved into this blow up swimming pool for toddlers. His teammates were dead also, shot in the head. Estet claimed it to be group suicide…"
"Their last mission was to help this drug dealer escape and somehow they hacked into the Schwartz computers and found out about… themselves…"
He opened the first page. "Read."
"Schwartz is the bodyguards for the head of Estet. It would consist of four members with supernatural ability… this is achieved by… technology enhancement?"
"Each is taken as a baby or toddler to be injected with Uranium Silicone Acid which enables the brain to function superhuman strengths such as telepathy and empathy. Each is then returned to the parent until the age of 5-10 and taken back from Schwartz to be trained specially. The acid may effect growth, sanity and other mental or physical health problems…" I trail off and look up at Crawford.
"I guess that answers the questions in our head about our superhuman strengths- keep reading."
I turn to the last paragraph.
"Estet has decided to take the matter into their own hands for the latest group of Schwartz, the training and injections would take place in the laboratory of Taketori Masafumi- son of the head of Schwartz. Information of all members of Schwartz (former and present) are as following…"
"Turn to the last page Nagi." Crawford commands and I obey.
Analyses for Schwartz No. 8
Hair color: brown
Eye color: brown amber
Age: 2 years 3 months and 17 days.
Experimented on: Telepathy- ability to manipulate and read other minds.
Acceleration in speed
Result: Successful-able to read minds and manipulation. Speed increased 50%
Possible outcomes: Change in hair color, from dark to a light bright shade
Change in eye color, from amber to jade or green.
Slight instability in mental status
Hair Color: pale blond
Eye Color: Brown
Age: 1 year 10 months and 13 days
Experimented on: inability to feel pain.
Result: Successful-could not feel pain.
Possible Outcomes: Change in hair color- from yellow to a violet/ blue shade
Change in Eye color- great paling may occur
Strong instability to mental illness
Insanity may occur
Eye color: Brown
Hair color: Brown
Age: 1 year, 4 months and 5 days
Experimented on: Telekinesis- ability to move molecules
Result: Successful- is able to move molecules to the mass of earth
Possible Outcomes: Change in Hair color- darkens slightly
Restriction to growth
Short life span
Low self-esteem and other psychological problems
Human-defense system not fully developed.
Eye color: Dark
Hair color: Blond
Age: 2 year, 1 months and 29 days
Experimented on: Premonition - ability to sense what is going to happen
Result: Successful- is able to sense immediate future and may have visions of distant future
Possible Outcomes: Change in Hair color- darkens
Malfunction in lens of eyes/ abnormality of sight
Inability to emotions
I turn to Crawford slowly, speechless.
Schuldich is not a morning person- this is the insight I got from living under one roof with him for 2 years. But today he surprised me by waking up earlier than I do, because when I walk down the stairs today, Schuldich is drinking a cup of coffee on the bench.
"Good morning, Mastermind, this morning could make it into your record books."
He looks at me, confused.
"It’s the earliest you’ve woken up, like what? Ever?" I laugh but he doesn’t join me. Suddenly I stop, "wait a minute, I didn’t shield my mind, and you…"
"I can’t." He purses his lips, like saying that took ten thousand years.
He turns back to his coffee.
"Aren’t you worried?" when I received no answer I continued. "You’re very enthusiastic today aren’t you? What’s wrong with you?" I ask. "Oh my god, don’t tell me you’ve been infected, by the I-don’t-like-to-talk-so-shut-up-and-leave-me-alone disease from Abyssinian."
He simply finishes his coffee in one gulp and walk away. After rinsing out his cup, he walks towards the door.
"Schuldich!" He stops in his tracks and turn to look at me. "Where are you going?"
"Out" He says with the same expressionless voice.
"Schuldich…" I stand up and grab his wrist. "About yesterday…I’m sorry." He looks at me, a little surprise on his face. "I shouldn’t have interfered with you two, maybe I should go…"
"Anybody for pancakes?" Nagi’s voice interrupts me as he comes down the stairs. "Schuldich? You’re up early today! Do you want some pancakes? I know you love them." He grins.
Schuldich looks at me. "Are they nice?"
I stare at him, "What are you talking about? Nagi is the best pancake- cooker in the world. You said so yourself."
He looks up towards Nagi and I turn as well. You could tell by the looks of him that he’s hurt.
I was taken aback again. "Ok? That’s all? Nagi, I’m surprised that you’ve stayed with him all these years, he’s incapable of making one feel good!"
Schuldich flinches slightly, though not visible, but I could feel it. I realize I hadn’t let go of his hand, and loosened my fingers. He walks back to the bench and sit down, reaching for the newspaper. It has a picture of Masafumi’s lab blowing up.
"That document hit you pretty bad right?" Nagi tries to stir up some conversation as he stirs up the mixture for his pancakes, however it isn’t as successful as they are. "I didn’t like the sound of that either, but anyway, Estet is dead now and we’re almost like human beings… besides, our superhuman abilities make our lives easier, right?"
"That Abyssinian-disease must really have gotten him." I tell Nag, "His response to us is –10%."
Nagi laughs nervously. "Anyway, as I was saying, I really think that it’s no big deal where our powers came from. I reckon we should concentrate more on the possible outcome section, I never knew I might have AIDS! Lucky I didn’t get pressured into…"
"Nagi that’s enough." I stopped him, then faces Schuldich, who hides his face in the newspaper. "Did you find anything else?"
I sigh. "You really don’t want to make conversation today do you?"
He ignores me.
"Are you still angry at me trying to persuade Nagi to come with me to USA?"
He gives me no reply.
"You do understand that I only wish for the best of Nagi right?"
Finally he puts down the papers. "I want to read." And return to reading.
Nagi pulls down the papers. "Do your reading later, now, eat." He pushes a plate full of pancakes in front of Schuldich. He stares at it, then picks up the knife and fork and cut one piece out, putting it slowly into his mouth.
Nagi and I are in awe. Finally, Schuldich has learnt some manners.
Somehow Schuldich manages to finish the pancakes in five minutes while using a knife and fork at the same time. He is gone before I could comment on it.
Nagi stares after his figure. "Were they really that bad?"
I shake my head and shove some into my mouth. "Not at all, actually, they are just as good as ever."
Nagi smiled. "Looks like Schuldich finally gained some manners while Crawford lost them."
I stare at the blood, bright red and so shiny- Ran's hair.
I suck the wound, coppery and metallic- Ran's katana.
Omi rushes to my side, "Ran-Kun, are you alright?"
I look at him, highly amused at the fact of being addressed to as "Ran–Kun". "Can't be better," I replied, smirking despite myself. "Just wondering how you avoid thorns from a rose."
Omi knots his eyebrows and hold up a pair of thick rubber gloves lying beside the arrangement table. I sigh, "Thanks chibi."
I regretted calling him that almost immediately. His forehead crinkles up, as he looks at me confused. "Ran-Kun, why are you calling me that?"
Poor kid, from the moment I walked into Koneko No Sume Ie he's been confused. Why I turned up 5 minutes late, why I was wearing very low jeans, why was I smiling and why was I smiling at him? He flipped out when I asked him what I had to do.
I reach over with my hand and trace over his eyebrows. My fingers smooth his forehead, leaving a bloody trail along its path until I reach his hairline. "You'll get wrinkles if you frown."
He blushes scarlet and I grin. Turning back to the flower arrangements, I stare at the bunch of red, pink and yellow roses and the asylums.
Great, how on earth do you make red, pink, yellow, and white go together?
Quietly I turn to Omi. He looks back at me, his blue eyes twinkling. He's wondering what on earth is wrong with me? Why wasn't I being the ice-cold figure I use to be?
Poor kid, poor, poor kid, I muse. The red on his forehead stood out from his pale skin. God, the kid really needs to get out more. I take hold of his wrists in each hand; his eyes widen as I lead backwards him away from the arrangement table and behind some plants in the greenhouse. No customers come in here, but it would cause a riot if Ran saw what I want to do to this cute little thing. I smirk as I press his wrists against the wall.
My smirk widens as I lean down. His breath hitches and he stares at me as I close the distance between our faces, he tries to turn away but my face follows his until he gives up. His blue orbs widen when I whisper against his lips. " Close your eyes."
He obeys and I press against his mouth. He's soft and pliant, but un-reacting. For one who is been kissed by the crush of his life, he's being pretty passive. I probe into his mind, reading what he and Ran did to make the flowers look good together.
I release his mouth and his lips go slack. I smirk and lean back down, biting on his ear and blowing in it. "Breathe." I lick the shell and thrust my tongue into that dark cavern. He gasps as he finally realizes that he's going to die with holding his breath.
I smirk. The kid's so cute, just playing with him is so amusing. I probe into his mind once more and learn from his memories how the flower arrangements are made and other mundane information about the flower shop. He's too stunned to notice anyway. Besides, it doesn't hurt to learn a thing or two… whichever way.
I bite at his orb and he gasps once more. "Ran-Kun…" he sighs, and I release him suddenly.
"Now, now, the counter have to be looked after, finish the arrangement for me won't you, Omi?" I flash him my smirk.
I try to ignore the stare he gives me as I walk out of the greenhouse, apparently Ran hates anybody touching his arrangement.
Ah, whatever deity exist in this dimension is good to me. I thought I had to face that bastard of a whore Crawford and be stuck with him trying to take Nagi away from me. Now I'm faced with a new life and a new start.
A new hope, maybe I could be normal just for the time being. Maybe I get to be a normal human being after all.
God has given me a new chance, and I'm determined not to let it go.
I drive towards Koneko no Sume Ie. Having spent 9 hours in libraries trying to find something about body switching and reversing it. I burrowed 30 something books and downloaded 6 disk-full of information. The result… hardly anything. So I give up and come to see Schuldich.
It’s a Sunday, so the flower shop is closed. I walk to the back door entrance of my house and grab the spare key. When I go into the room I hear laughter.
"Ran-Kun! That wasn’t funny!"
"Then why are you laughing now?"
"But… come on Ran-Kun, give them to me."
"No, they are interesting and I want to read, I never knew you kept those under your bed, no wonder why you didn’t let me check it."
More laughter, then Schuldich says with a mild voice. "What are you going to do if I don’t oblige?"
"I’ll… I’ll tell Schuldich-Kun about…um… your embarrassing moments."
"Like when Ken-Kun and I walked in on Yohji-Kun and you doing…it."
Schuldich is certainly enjoying this, but I’m not. Quietly I walk into the room to find Schuldich and Omi sitting side by side, a stack of <<Playboy>> magazines beside them. Omi's leg is healing. The shot didn't catch any major blood vessels, thank god.
They sense my presence and stop. Omi’s grin freezes on his face and Schuldich smirks at me.
"Schu," He says getting up and grabs my hand. "Omittchi and I are catching up on some old times, would you like to join us?"
I open my mouth, then closes it. "Can we talk?" I ask, "privately?"
Omi stands up also. "How did you get in here?"
Schuldich speaks before I get the chance. "Come on Omittchi, can’t I give my boyfriend free access to my room?" He glances at me smirking again. I shudder.
Omi gives a half smile. Schuldich smiles suddenly and approach him, kissing him on the top of his head in a brotherly way. "Chibi, I swear that if he harms either of you, you could kill me." He turns to me. "We could talk in my room."
As soon as I enter my room I shut the door and lock it. Then turn to see him slouching on my chair, smirking as usual. For a moment I want to wipe that smirk off, but it looks so good on my face. Matter of fact, my face is completely transformed by him. My body is transformed. His smirk widens as I sit down on my bed, opposite him, and he gets up and sits down beside me, putting his arms around me.
"I’ve been doing some researches," I peel off the arms, "it seems that the possibility of switching our bodies back is very little."
"Well, I’m content." He smirks. "Omittchi and Aya are so nice to me, and this flower job, when you actually get into it, is fun. I mean I get to read all the customer’s minds and you would be so surprised at the things they think."
I stare at him. "You’re not even worried?"
"About what? About this, no I’m not worried. I feel happier than I ever did in a long time. One day and I’m convinced that I could go on living this life forever."
"What about Crawford and Nagi?"
"What ABOUT Crawford and Nagi? Oh, the documents, well I guess Crawford must have heard about it before, and Nagi has had worse news than this. Did you tell him that Tot’s dead?" I shake my head; "Well it could have been worse for him. Come on- cheer up, I bet that after Crawford goes back to USA, you could begin to like Nagi, he makes great pancakes, have you tried them?"
"This is it, you don’t want to switch back?"
"Why bother? It didn’t feel good, and my life is good. If you really hate Nagi and Crawford, you could always move out. You know that I have more than a million in my account right? So buy yourself somewhere to live, and I’m pretty sure Omi would accept you after a while and we could live together."
I am suddenly hit with a memory of Yohji telling me that if he has a million in his account he’ll buy us a house and we’ll live together.
"Would you stop comparing me with him?" Schuldich frowns. "What’s wrong with my life? Don’t you like it? It gives you the most freedom to do whatever you want, wherever you want and whenever you want. Is this what you came here to tell me? To get back into your life?" He stands up suddenly and pace to the window. Then turn to look expectantly at me.
I am struck. I stared at him for what seemed like an eternity. No, I really didn’t know why I came here; probably to check up on Omi and Aya, probably came here to talk about this… exchange of body with Schuldich… or probably here to see him…
Schuldich smirks again and takes my hand, pulling me to the window with him. I don’t stop him.
"Is Crawford being a bastard? Is Nagi too shy for you? Or, is it because you couldn’t resist me?" He smirks again, leaning towards me, he said in a seductive voice, "Know what Aya? I don’t like you as a person, not one single bit. But I love your body, your taste, too bad I’ve got it now." He suddenly releases that spell he’s woven around me. "So, if that’s all you…"
I cut him off with a kiss. He pauses in shock and then returns it. We are both gasping for air when we release each other.
"So that’s why…" he murmurs next to my lips and captures them as we kiss again. My hand pull him taunt about his body and his went around my neck. I am taller than he is, and I used my height as an advantage and dominate the kiss.
When we finally release each other both of us are so breathless and aroused I think we could have had sex with anything in that room, even the wallpaper. But we don’t need to, there is always other. I trace his body with my hands, my body, a body that has been trained and scarred by the night. He reaches up and undoes my buttons, before long both of us are naked as the day we were born. We are simply holding each other, our body simply touching in as many places as possible there isn’t any space between our chest to stomach, to thighs. As if this way we could merge as one and return as one another and not the other way around. Schuldich sighs into my chest, the crimson hair isn’t spiked up today, it falls just beneath the ears, and I run my finger through the silky redness.
Suddenly we were kissing again, our breath mingling, our senses completely alert yet not sensing anything else other than each other. We fall onto the bed as one; I peel myself from him and look down. I trace his body, mine as well. I trace each and every scar, savoring the memories each one of them bought me finally I trace my rose tattoo with my tongue, nipping on his clavicle and his nipple, delighting to hear moans from his mouth. Quietly I reach for my nightstand and grab the ointment I rub into my wounds and dip my fingers into it.
Turning him around, I prepare him like he is a delicacy, slow and gentle. He grinned throughout the process and I kiss him in order to wipe away that grin. Finally we merge truly as one- we move together, moan together, and when I feel my body about to release, I reach around him and stroke his desire. When organism finally comes, I feel my soul reaching white-hot heights.
I’m conscious enough to spare him some of my weight. He sleepily pulls the blanket onto both of us. Then all went black as we fall into blissful dream in each other’s arms.
I look at the sleeping form of Aya and marvel at the serenity of her face. I wish I could be like that when I sleep, unfortunately, I know it isn’t the case. Ever since Schuldich and Ran-Kun started going out 7 days ago, I couldn’t get a good sleep. And believe me my leg is only the minor part of this. Ran-Kun would grin like an idiot when he sees Schuldich and he would ramble on about him as well. Matter of fact, ever since that mission we accomplished, Ran-Kun became so out going and cheerful he reminds me of Yohji-Kun right now…
Maybe that’s exactly what he’s trying to do. He can’t avoid his love for Yohji-Kun, so he starts acting like him. I must say it’s pretty successful, but I miss that cold and controlled former leader of Weiss.
The current Ran-Kun definitely fits his sister’s taste, because Aya seems so much more relaxed in front of him.
I want to scream when I see him sometimes. If I hadn’t known better I’d say he was downright teasing me, he’s driving me insane.
Just then the door opens and I get out of bed and drag on some clothes. When I come downstairs I see Ran-Kun making coffee.
"Hello chibi, want some?" he asks.
I nod and smile. "Where did you go, Ran-Kun?"
"Can’t you guess?"
"Precisely." He chuckles quietly. "Chibi, what do you think about my boyfriend?"
I am taken aback by that word, boyfriend, Ran-Kun didn’t even claim Yohji-Kun as his ‘boyfriend’.
"He’s…ok." Actually he’s not, but I’ll say that to please you.
"You’re not telling the truth chibi." Ran-Kun hands me a cup of hot milky coffee. "Now, tell me, what do you think of him."
"If you must insist Ran-Kun, I don’t exactly like him. He’s a bit insane." I pause. "And he’s a bit too out going."
He laughs. "And he’s taken me."
"Yeah… I mean… no."
"You’re jealous chibi." He approaches me, slowly. "Jealousy isn’t a nice feeling. It feels like someone poured vinegar into your heart and it’s slowly being eaten away by the jealousy…"
"…And you are overcome by hatred. Come on Ran-Kun, you know Yohji lectured you on this not long before…" I trailed off, Ran-Kun’s eyes have lost their shine and are staring silently at me.
"Don’t compare me with him Tsukiyono." I detest it when he uses my last name in this tone.
"But that’s what you want isn’t it?" I snap to him, he is taken by surprise by my sudden rage. "That’s what you are trying to do all this week. Try to act like Yohji-Kun, sound like Yohji-Kun, and do things Yohji-Kun’s way. Why Ran-Kun? Have you finally realized that you couldn’t hide from the love you have for…"
"There is no love in my heart for Kudou Tsukiyono." His voice is suddenly cold, not cold like ice, but cold like metal, hard and heavy. "Don’t bring it up again, you’ll regret it if you do." Without another word, he finishes his coffee and marches upstairs.
I watch his silhouette rush up the staircase, graceful and fast. Aya is walking downstairs and Ran-Kun brushes past her, mumbling a hello and disappears behind his door.
"What’s wrong with him?"
"I have no idea…" I look at her. "How are the exams going?"
"Stress!" She screams suddenly, then laugh. "It’s fine, thanks to Ran-Kun’s tutoring. It really is nice of him to teach me every night."
"Only to disappear afterwards and appear the next afternoon. Tell you what, Aya, I have a pretty good idea where he goes every day."
"Omi, you sound like a jealous bitch, whining about how you lost a guy."
"Which is the truth." It came out before I can stop it.
Aya stares at me then sigh. "I knew it, I knew you had a thing for my brother. And you kept on saying you love me. How could you Tsukiyono?"
There is no use denying now. "I’m sorry. It’s not until recently have I discovered that it’s not that I couldn’t grow out of the crush, it’s that I’m …in love with him."
"How do you know? Do you know what’s love? What it means and what it involves? Loving a person, is it that easy? Omi, think over it; he’s never looked at you in the eyes until very recently, he hardly acknowledges you when you are with him, and he is always with another lover. I don’t disagree, he’s turning completely into Yohji, do you want to be one who sacrifices his heart for one who doesn’t even want it?"
Stung and speechless, I sit down on the sofa hard. Aya is exactly right, he never loved me, and he wouldn’t love me. Indeed, he hardly acknowledges me.
The door opens and interrupts my train of thoughts. I look up to see Schuldich rushing into the house. I stand up and block him just as he approaches the stairs.
"Where do you think you are going?"
"Schu… to Ran’s room." He pants, clearly he’s been running.
"Who gave you the permission to go around running in our house."
"Just let me through. I need to see him, he’s not well!"
"How would you know?"
"He… I sensed his thoughts, I need to see him."
I sigh, and go aside. He passes me, but I grab his sleeve. "Don’t think this give you the permission to…"
Just then Ran-Kun comes out of his room. "What took you so long?"
I stare at Ran-Kun, stunned and speechless, his eyes are boring into Schuldich’s, as if Schuldich is the only thing he saw in this world right now.
Schuldich pushes past me, and takes his hand. "Let’s go." He remarks as they walk out the door. Ran-Kun leans onto him almost invisibly and he put his arm around Ran-Kun’s shoulders, almost unconsciously.
I am staring daggers into Schuldich’s trench coat. If looks could kill, Schuldich would be playing cards with devils in hell right now. That fiend…
Aya tugs my sleeve. I yank it from her and snap out of my hatred. I start apologizing to her but she stops me.
"No Omi, this is over, there wasn’t any love from you to me. I don’t want you to keep holding yourself back because of me. No don’t speak, let me finish," she says when I open my mouth to protest. "You won’t be pieces under my brother’s sword now, because I broke up with you." She smiles. "Don’t tell me you don’t want this, I know you do. And in a way, I do as well, because now, I could be free to find someone who truly love me. As much as Yohji-Kun loves Ken, as much as Manx-San loved Yohji-Kun… as much as I love you."
I am speechless. Aya loves me- she never said that to me before. And before I could react, she kisses me lightly on the mouth and walks away. Leaving me in utter confusion and utter awe.
"How much did you spend from my account?" Ran asks me, pointing to my Audi. I smirk. We are at the seaside again. The beach is still closed and Aya insisted on walking, I agreed. There are no stars tonight, and I feel the cold wind cutting my face and turn up my collar. Ever since I got this body I fall in love with it day by day. It is so trained and lithe yet so graceful and beautiful. I certainly don’t want it ruined.
"Only about 100,000, us dollars." He nods and I take it as an encouragement. "Aya broke up with Omi." I tell Ran.
He doesn’t speak, and I probe into his mind to find acceptance and regret.
/ Aren’t you surprised? /
/ No, I guessed a week or so ago. /
I grab his hand, /Aya, Aya, Aya, you truly amaze me sometimes, my love. Your composure and calmness reminds me of ice statue. /
His mind suddenly switches to a time when Yohji teased him about how he is carved out of ice, from inside to out.
/ When would you ever register the fact that I’m NOT fucking Kudou? / I send angrily into his mind. / He’s gone ok? Off with somebody else to fucking hell! I’m with you, not him! / He remains quiet and I continue. / Going back to Omi and Aya, I almost feel sorry for them. They had such a good relationship, based purely on affection and admiration, unlike us. I mean look at us- our relation is purely based on sex. /
"No it isn’t, not all of it." Aya suddenly says out loud. I turn surprised at him. / Escape, that’s why we are together. /
"Escape." I repeat.
"Yes," he runs his hand through his hair, "I want to escape from that shadow of the past, you want to escape the shadow from the present. So we loose ourselves in each other, in sex, in drugs and alcohol. This way we can forget and pretend that we are normal people who aren't drenched in blood." He traces a finger from my ear along my jaw line down my throat to my collarbone. / We are so cowardly. We can’t even face the reality so we wrap ourselves in a cocoon of lies. /
/ We don’t have to face reality. / I sooth his mind, which is unusually emotional. / But how did you know about the shadow I am escaping from? /
/ Partly from the fact that he’s living with me under one roof…/
I laugh out loud. / You’re changed you know that? /
/How? / He retort. / The fact that I look different? /
/No, the fact that you’ve opened up more. /
He looks at me, surprised.
/For one thing, you speak more, you smile more. And you just made a joke. Kind of twisted, but it’s a joke nevertheless. Aya two months before couldn’t even pronounce full sentence. /
/ Oh no, staying in this body must have done this…/
I chuckle. / Did Nagi ask you about him leaving for Harvard? /
/ What did you say? /
/ I told him to do whatever he thinks is the best. /
/ What? How could you? You know how foul the bastard Crawford treats people? /
/ Yes but if Nagi wants to have a good education, so be it. /
/ You’re fucking messing up my life, you know how precious he is to me? /
/ You know how precious Omi is to me? /
We are both silent, then suddenly we both speak up at the same time. "He likes you, you know."
Aya grunts while I laugh sarcastically. "Nagi doesn’t like me the way Omi likes you Aya, he has a big crush on Omi."
"They’ve only met two times."
/ More than that. / I send, / here’s what I got from Omi’s mind. /
Omi stared at the sleeping Nagi on his bed. He fumed with himself, how could he have been so stupid? Aya would certainly kill him now, saving an enemy. God he MUST be Taketori’s son in order to have such a brain.
The body stirred. Nagi’s eyelids fluttered and opened. "I must be in heaven, who would have that an angel could look so much like Tsukiyono Omi!"
"You’re not dead prodigy." Omi said coldly. "You’re just injured."
"Oh," Nagi seemed a little disappointed, "and you…"
"I saved you."
Awkward moments of silence passed between them until Omi heard footsteps outside. "You’d better go. Can you walk?"
Nagi stood, "I guess. And I could jump down that window. I have telekinesis and it wouldn’t hurt me." He cast one lingering look at Omi and turned to the window.
"Ok." That was all Omi said before Nagi’s slight form jumped and disappeared from the lights of the street lamps into the night.
*********End of Flashback*********
Aya sighs. / I never knew that, I couldn’t believe it. I ruined my sister’s relationship. /
"No you didn’t." I retort. "Aya broke up with Omi, not the other way around. Besides, she’s most likely to find someone who loves her more than anything in the world, at least better than how Omi loved her." When I sensed the hesitation in his mind, I added. "Like how I love you."
He turns to me, surprised. "What did you say?"
"I love you Aya." If that’s the only way I could have you, so be it. I’m not going to lose to a shadow of Kudou, even if it means lying, besides, another little white lie never hurt.
He looks into my eyes and I try to make them as determined as possible. Finally he says. "You mean it, you really mean it…"
"Of course I do Aya." I kiss him.
/You’re not going to betray me like Yohji did…/ it’s not a question, it’s a decision.
I chuckle, no, not like Yohji did, but in other ways… or maybe I might really start liking you. / No, never. /
He doesn’t throw himself into my arms but instead he walks away from me. I catch up to him to see a small smile forming in the corner of his mouth.
I force my eyes to stare at the constantly changing lights. Red, white, blue, white, yellow, white, green, white… it seems always to switch back to the color that’s not actually a color.
I scan the crowd, after 6 cups of White Heart I could hardly focus on anything, especially moving figures. A tall brunette sits down next to me.
"Alone?" he asks me.
I look sideways at him; he’s familiar, amber eyes and an Irish accent. Some part of him reminds me of something from a distant past… a past which I can not remember and wish to forget.
"Aren’t we all?" I answer, smiling.
"But you seem more so…" He pauses, "dumped?"
I shake my head. The only reason I came here tonight is escape. I can’t stand being around that American moron anymore, now that Schuldich stopped fighting for me staying in Japan, he’s practically positive that after a month, my suitcase would be with his on their way to Boston.
"Not dumped?" the brunette strums his fingers, but turn towards the bartender. A hot lady never the less, but wearing way to little. "Martini thanks." He says as he smiles at her, she smirks.
For a moment her smirk reminds me of Schuldich, the old Schuldich before the mission. True, he was a bit insane at the moment, but compared with the current Schuldich, I wouldn’t hesitate to say that it’s the former one I preferred.
He never looks at anyone directly anymore. Plus he hardly ever bothers to answer questions you ask him unless absolutely necessary. The coldness and the silence froze the whole apartment. I try to avoid it as much as possible.
"You new around here?" I snap out of my world and into reality.
"Second time." I tell him and regret it silently. Haven’t my 4 years experiences as an assassin teach me not to give personal information to others?
"You have a… significant other half?"
"Oh, no." My thoughts drift to Tsukiyono.
He runs a finger down my face. I duck.
I smirk in a Schuldich fashion. "I don’t do strangers."
"Name’s Jei." He holds out his hand.
"Naoe." I shake his hand, but he grabs them and pull me right up against him. I could feel the heat of his desire burning on my thigh.
"Can I ‘do’ you now?"
My smile disappear and my powers flare with anger. Before I know it, he’s on the other side of the room, creating a pathway between the crowded dancers from me to him.
I walk towards him and stare into his amber eyes. "I don’t ‘do’ strangers." I repeat and walk straight out of the bar.
The night is cold, cold and bitter like hard alcohol. I pull my jacket up instinctively. The streets were narrow and dark, the lamp is so old and tattered it’s light couldn’t compete with the full moon above me. I push through crowds of gangsters, receiving a few very harsh words. And then some whores, one tries to hook me up, but I throw her across into the gangsters using my powers.
I finally reach the highway. But the river of lights and moving machinery seems alien and distant. I reach an over-bridge and walk across the highway, when I reach the other side there is nothing but more skyscrapers that seems like gigantic poles in a prison.
Ok, I am truly lost.
"You lost, kid?" I turn around and see the brunette is beside me, driving a Mazda sport-car with no roof.
"Have you been stalking me?" I accuse. "You know I could throw you and your car into the nearest office building and explode your guts for all I care."
He laughs, "I don’t doubt that. And no I haven’t been stalking you. My apartment is two blocks ahead, now answer my question, are you lost?"
I sigh, "Yeah…"
"Where do you live?"
"I’ll give you a lift." He smiles, for a moment I could almost remember where I saw that smile, but the buzz at the back of my head is too much for me to handle.
Reluctantly, but without a choice, I climb into the car.
"You’re lucky I found you. Somebody might have knocked you out and stolen your money." I don’t answer him, but he continues at his own accord. "Where do you live?"
I tell him my address.
He gasps. "I had a friend who lives… I mean lived there."
"What happened?" I ask half-hearted.
"He was half insane. He died in a car crash, I was there as well, but I don’t remember what happened."
I look up, confused.
"I lost my memory." He smiles. "They tell me that I’m Jei and my friend’s Farfello. It’s funny, I can’t remember anything about myself but I do remember Farfello."
I stare at him. This… of course, the amber eyes and that the Irish accent. He’s…I pinch myself, hard.
"Don’t," He reaches out and touch my spiked belt by accident. "Ouch!"
I stare again. Wasn’t Farfello immune to pain? Then how on earth…?
"Hey! Are you ok?" He chuckles, "stop staring at me will you? You live here right?"
I snap out of my astonishment. "Yeah…thanks." I add as I get out of the car. I didn’t hear what he said.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters and I’m not trying to get any money, don’t sue because I DON'T have any money.
Copyright: I own the story line! Don’t attempt to take this before advising me… I’ll haunt you and make your life really miserable. You must believe me… my muse Adonis has satanic powers
Warnings: homosexual themes, language, drugs use, non graphic sex, pseudo sex, very strong violence, OOC-ness, supernatural themes, death, (mental) bond, horror, blood and gore and everything like such.
I flick through the photo album but it’s clear to tell that my heart isn’t in it. Finally I look at Omi. "Upset chibi?"
"I’m ok." He smiles and I look into his sapphire depth. "Just a bit shaken."
"Getting dumped isn’t a good feeling. You wanna talk about it?"
He shakes his head slightly. "I hope you’re not too pissed at me about what I said the other morning, about you acting like… I mean…"
"It’s ok." I smirk. " I guess I’ll get used to being compared with that cheap son of a bitch."
"Aren’t you over it?" he asks me and I raise my eyebrows. "I mean, it’s being like two years or something, and I thought…well, you’d be kind of over the fact that he cheated on you with Ken-Kun."
"It’s just… a hard thing to get over. I think I loved him… but then when he cheated on me, I realized that it’s a huge mistake." I’m so glad my gift hadn’t abandoned me, or else I’ll have to make up some crap, now, all I have to do is copy what Aya thought before.
"How do you know if it’s love?"
I look at him. "I didn’t, and I didn’t realize it until I saw them kissing." I try to imagine what it would feel like, watching your boyfriend tonguing somebody. Not a good feeling, I decide.
"So… what about you and Schuldich-Kun?"
I shrug. "I wouldn’t exactly say it’s… love. But, he has a god damned sexy body." Yes, I know, I'm very self-obsessed.
Omi chuckles. He doesn’t answer instead he leans down and puts his head in my lap. I jump in surprise but soon shift so I could be more comfortable with some of his weight on my lap.
Silence descended again, but this time there is no wave of uneasiness to it. I stroke Omi’s hair quietly while turning back to the photo albums.
We stay like this for at least 2 hours until I hear footsteps coming down the stairs and feel the presence of another mind. Soft and quiet, I recognize that it’s my lover, for Aya is never loud or clumsy. He looks down on my lap and I follow his gaze. Omi has fallen asleep.
Slowly I pick him up and carry him to his room, he’s dreaming of Aya and has a vague smile on his face, no surprise. But when I hear Aya following me up into Omi’s room my mind decides that it’s time to have a bit of fun.
Slowly I lean down and kiss Omi’s forehead. As I suspected, anger boils in him and his hands clutches into fists.
I turn towards him and smirk. Quietly we walk out of Omi’s room. He heads into the kitchen, ignoring me.
I wait for full 20 minutes; finally bored I walk into the kitchen. My mind is hit by such strong thoughts I stumble and grab the doorframe.
Aya’s mind was literally screaming.
How dares he? How DARES he?
/ What did I do? / I ask innocently.
He turns around startled. / As if you don’t know. /
/No, as a matter of fact, I DON’T know. Tell me love, and what did I dare to do? /
/ Kissing someone else other than me. / He turns away from me.
I smirk at that. Coming up behind him, I wrap my arms around his torso. / Oh, our poor jealous little Aya is hurt. But you can’t blame me, love, he was adorable. /
He turns around abruptly. / You told me you loved me, don’t you DARE take it back. / His emerald eyes are so intense that I’m sure that I could boil water over it.
/ Of course not, I love Omi only as a kid. / I press a kiss on his lips. / Now, are we ready to forgive and go out for a walk? /
Before he can answer however, a voice speaks from the door. "Am I missing something here? If not, what is going on?"
AN Notes: ok, one pathetic chapter here… basically nothing happens, not to mention cliff- hanger. But whom do you think that "voice" belongs to?
I'm getting a new comp today so… I might be a little slow…
Please review… please….
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters and I’m not trying to get any money, don’t sue because I DON'T have any money.
Copyright: I own the story line! Don’t attempt to take this before advising me… I’ll haunt you and make your life really miserable. You must believe me… my muse Adonis has satanic powers
Warnings: homosexual themes, language, drugs use, non graphic sex, pseudo sex, very strong violence, OOC-ness, supernatural themes, death, (mental) bond, horror, blood and gore and everything like such.
I was dreaming, but I wasn’t asleep. As Ran-Kun picked me up I imagine what it would feel like to have him do this every night. I was surprised when he pressed his lips on my forehead.
It must have been half an hour before I decided to get up. As I walked down the stairs I witnessed the scenario I the kitchen just then.
I turn around to see who’s spoken. My jaws fall to the ground when I see Ran-Kun’s ex-lover leaning on the door.
"Well? If none of you are going to answer me, don’t I at least get a hug?" after a full 10 minutes of silence, Yohji remarks.
I hesitate, then walk up to him.
"That’s more like it." He smiles, ruffling my hair with his chin. My head STILL bobs underneath his chin. It looks like I’ll never be able go grow taller than him, even Aya’s passing me.
He lets go of me and turn to Ran-Kun. "Aya?"
Ran-Kun narrows his eyes. "Bastard." He utters.
Yohji’s eyes widen. "What did you call me?"
"Bastard," Schuldich answers. "If you touch him, Kudou, you’re going to have a hard life in hell."
"Why are you in here?" Yohji asks sounding very irritated. "Who gave you the permission…"
"I did." Ran-Kun interrupts.
Yohji eyes him, then Schuldich and suddenly smirks. He eyes Schuldich, "So you are his little slut…"
I didn’t know anyone, who could move so fast, but all for a sudden Ran-Kun is at Yohji’s side and Yohji’s mouth is bleeding, on the side of his face, a bruise the size and shape of Ran-Kun’s fist is forming…
"Don’t you dare insult him!" His eyes are burning so fierce they are almost glowing.
"You know Aya, that’s the warmest welcome I’ve every received, so warm it’s stinging."
Schuldich pulls Ran-Kun back suddenly. "You don’t need to waste your breath arguing with a dog. Let’s go."
"He’s in my house!" Ran-Kun raises his voice. "The bastard of a whore is in my house!"
"Tell him to move!"
"Don’t speak as if I’m not here." Yohji interrupts. "Want to know the real reason why I came back, Aya?"
"No." Schuldich and Ran spontaneously snap at the remark.
"For you, I came back to get you back, Aya." Yohji grabs his hand.
Ran shakes off Yohji’s intruding fingers and turn to him. "Don’t expect me to be your slut Yohji."
"What? Because you are Mastermind’s? I’m pretty sure he won’t mind… sharing…" Yohji smirks.
Punch! I think Ran-Kun is finally letting out all his anger he had for Yohji today, about time as well. "What happened to Ken?" He asks, "Did you abandon him as you did to me once? To tell you the truth, I feel sorry for you. You used to sleep around with anything in a skirt and willing. Now you’re sleeping around with anything that’s willing and can walk on two legs!"
Yohji stares at him. "You changed Aya."
"Don’t call me that, I’m Ran. Aya’s my sister’s name." Shoving past him, Ran slams the door in his face. Schuldich looks at Yohji and closes his eyes briefly.
"You could have acted more like a gentleman, Kudou."
"You could have found someone else other than stealing my Ran."
"He’s not yours to steal Kudou, he’s not mine either." And with that, he races to catch up with Ran-Kun.
Yohji stares after them. "Yohji… Kun?"
He laughs and envelops me in his arms again. "It’s nice to know that I’m welcomed by at least one person."
I laugh as well, though it’s very uneasy and restrained. We sit down on the sofa and he pulls my head in his lap.
"So… tell me," He starts, "What’s this all about?"
"They’re going out."
"Schuldich and Ran-Kun, it’s been nearly 2 weeks."
"And the reason being…"
"None, Ran-Kun says he really likes Schuldich."
"Well, he’s made a bad choice."
"I don’t think so, Schuldich-Kun’s ok, and he seems very devoted to Ran-Kun." I’m surprised at how well I could lie.
"Are you implying that I’m not?"
"No! It’s just that after living with him not sleeping in this house every other day for nearly 2 years, it’s nice that he finally settles down." But not with me, I sighed.
"Does he always disappear like that these days?"
"Yeah…" I nod, "I often find him beside the sea, staring out into the horizon, or at Manx’s grave, bowing his head, I even found him the other day drunk when he came back and once…" I gulp, trying to suppress the stinging in my chest. "He came home with a prostitute…"
Yohji stares at me. "Seriously?"
I nod, "Enough about Ran-Kun," I didn’t’ think I could take anymore "what about you? Why are you back? Where is Ken-Kun? When did you arrive? How come you were here? And…"
He laughs, "That’s a lot of questions Omittchi."
I blush and pout, " Yo-tan!"
"I’m back because I’ve finished my coarse, Ken’s still in France because he hasn’t finished his coarse, I arrived about half an hour ago at Tokyo airport and drove here to see what just happened. And where else would I be if I’m not here?"
"Omi!" Aya calls out as she bounces into the room in her school uniform. "Where have you been? Have you seen my brother? Can you please…" She trail off and stares at Yohji. Her smile disappears. "What are you doing here?"
"Aya-Chan, aren’t you happy to see me?" Yohji smirks, "I’ve finished my coarse and I prefer Japan rather than France, and you guys are practically the only family I’ve known."
"My brother nearly died because of you Kudou, don’t think I’ll forgive you that easily." Aya glares at Yohji. Abruptly she turns to me and shoves a huge pile of deliveries on my hand along with the van key. "Since my brother disappeared with Schuldich again, you can do the deliveries. I’ll take over the shop."
"Aya," I whine, "do I HAVE to?"
"I don’t want this shop to be overcrowded with girls." She answers.
"I can help." Yohji put in.
"You’ll be very helpful." Clearly she’s trying to be sarcastic, but then she continues… "Thinking back, I don’t need a hand. We’ve survived 2 years without you, Yohji, I guess we could survive some more. Omi, TAKE him on the deliveries, and best yet, deliver him to somebody, anybody whom you loathe. I really don’t want to see him here."
EN Notes: Hey… I’m back! So sorry for the delay of the update… but I changed computers and I didn’t have enough time doing backup copies… new year and all… I had to go on a vacation as well…
Ok, so tell me what you thought… I rather liked describing Schu punching Yohji (Omi doesn’t know about the switching bodies bit).
Luv u all who’ve reviewed so far, as for those of you who haven’t reviewed when you read this story, you’ve read up to chapter 23, so you must think something of it… tell me, I don’t care if you think it’s absolutely weird or it sucks, but be constructive please… "this sucks" really doesn’t tell me that much.
It's not the best experience telling Omi about Ken's accident. He stares at you as if you are growing antennas on your head.
"Ken-Kun is in hospital?"
I nod. "Car accident, I wasn't with him when it happened. He's having slight amnesia."
"He doesn't remember that we went to France. He doesn't remember what happened between him and me." I clutched my fists. "He kept on asking me where you two were." I stand up suddenly. "I don't want to talk about it." I tell him. "I need a cigarette."
"No." Omi stops me. "Ken-Kun may allow it, but I won't have you committing a suicide with those cancer sticks in my house."
I smile and walk to the kitchen. It's a little past 8pm. Aya still isn't here. I make a cup of black coffee and turn to ask Omi, "Where is Aya?"
"In her room studying for her exam."
"I mean the other one."
"Oh, I don't know. It's not the first time he and Schuldich-Kun goes out and usually they don't come back until. late. or rather, early next morning, sometimes they don't come back at all."
"He's even worse than me!"
"But he never misses his shift." I smile at him. "I don't know, but Aya seems content just being a florist for the rest of his life. But if you ask me, he could be a surgeon, his hands are so steady from all those times wielding that katana of his."
I laugh, "Omi, you should be an IT professional, what are you studying currently at University?"
"Software engineering, I plan to finish the course this year and then apply for Stanford. or a school in Boston." He smiles. "It's been a long time since anybody ever asked me about school."
"Doesn't Aya care?"
"Yes but her exams are coming up and she couldn't be bothered with anything except of her exams right now."
"Uh, I mean the other one."
"He hardly speaks to me." He trails off. I realize that moment that Omi still hasn't gotten over his crush. Instead, it looks like it got worse.
"So. how about you?" Omi snaps out of his daydream. "Why aren't you beside Ken? I thought you loved each other."
"He still does, but I. I'm not so sure anymore."
"He's too safe, I need somebody more exciting."
"But isn't that a bit cruel for Ken?"
"He doesn't remember anyway." I shrug. "I broke it off with him just before the accident. He found me out cheating on him."
Omi merely stares at me. "You haven't changed a bit." He sighs as if he's disappointed.
Just then the door clicks and Aya comes in. Taking off the coat, he becomes aware that both of us are staring at him.
"How come you're home so late/early?" Omi and I ask at the same time.
"I'm going out in 15 minutes."
"To that what-its-name nightclub again, the gay one?" Omi asks. To my surprise Aya nods and goes upstairs.
Omi's mentioned this before, but I really don't expect.
"How often does he stay in this house for one night?" I turn to Omi.
"Twice or thrice a week. maybe less." My jaws hit the ground. "Hey, at least he doesn't bring home a different girl or guy each night like SOMEBODY use to do."
"Oh shut up." I don't mean it to sound so impatient, but it does and I can't be bothered to correct it. I go upstairs leaving Omi gaping in the middle of the room. I knock on Aya's door.
"Come in." He realizes it's me. "What do you want?"
"I." He's sounding more like a cold bastard he once was before we went out together. I look at him; he's putting on mascara and hair highlighting in his hair. The ear-tails are gone and so have the long drop earrings. I watch as he puts on two amethyst snubs that made his eyes stand out. He stands up abruptly.
He smirks suddenly, I blink a few seconds but it doesn't go away. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, Aya.Ran is smirking. "Checking out how I look?" I nod, and his smirk disappears as fast as it appeared. "If you've got nothing to do don't bother me." Pushing past me, I catch a glimpse of his trembling mouth and his clutched fists. I catch his wrists.
"Aya, I know we got off a bad start but."
"Don't call me that, I'm Ran. Aya's my sister's name. Yohji, what happened to your lover Ken?" he drapes himself across a chair, his body dripping with sex.
"Ken's in hospital, he had a car accident." I swallow.
"Let me guess, he tried to commit a suicide when you cheated on him with another. body." He smirks
He raises a taunting perfect eyebrow, "Oh how very touching. I suppose he knows what I felt when I caught him and my lover doing a tongue duel."
"Ran." I reach for him.
"Don't." He stares at my hand as if it's a disease "touch me." Using that supernatural speed he displayed earlier, he is at the door when I blink, and he slams the door in my face. I sigh, one day Ran, one day you'll come back to me like you did three years ago. And that time, I won't let you go.
EN Notes: ~Grabs Katana and kills off Yohji~ die you bastard! Die! God I'm so irritated by him right now, stupid git!
Ok, I know. I'm slow again. I'll try to be faster next time. And spoilers- there's l3m0n next chapter. (Well lime in the abridged version). so be prepared.
You know the drill, review and I'll write faster. I've been getting some very good reviews and I'm luv all you reviewers so much! I particularly liked / hyperventilater/'s "ghost of Asuka". but to tell the truth, Yohji annoyed the shit out of me when I was watching the anime and I personally thought that even Neu didn't deserve him.
Warnings: Shounen-ai, language, drugs use, yaoi, lime, violence, lemon (m/m and m/f), OOC-ness, supernatural themes, death, (mental) bond, horror, blood and gore and everything like such.
Fucking perverted bastard, son of a whore, mother-fucking dick-head of a bitch, asshole, faggot, fuck, fuck, fuck…I swear under my breath as I drive towards the nightclub Aya and I are supposed to meet. Disgusting, he tried to FUCK me…
I stalk to Aya when I park the car. He is sipping some drink, which looks really foul and probably tastes really foul as well. I grab the cup and drain the contents, then make a face at the bitterness of the taste. He doesn't stop me. I turn to him. /Kitten, you have the worlds most annoying ex. /
He wonders what Yohji did to me.
/ He was fantasizing about my body… well yours; you wouldn't believe some of the images that passed through his mind. /
/ Its hard not to think about anything but sex with you like… this. / The thought flickers through his head.
I roll my eyes. "Ran, no matter how sexy your body is, I still think that you getting aroused by your own body are plain gross."
"Speak for yourself." He snaps and turns to the dance floor. Before he could disappear into the crowd, he half turns and gestures towards the dance floor with his head. I smirk, my anger cooling. I catch up with him. However, before I could reach him, an arm wraps around Ran’s waist and he’s drawn into the crowd.
I’m yanked away by a hot lady in pink. I try to find Ran for the next few songs, but I’m always hauled away by someone else until the seventh song, when I finally have had about enough of dancing with strangers and then I see familiar green eyes before me.
Ran stares at me intently, without a word he takes me up in his arms. We sway to the music. I marvel at the way our body fits together.
I roll my eyes at myself, of course we fit well together- we ARE each other.
The comfortable silence dies out far too soon. It’s always like that, when you finally get comfortable not thinking or talking, it turns awkward. Comfortable silence is something in fictions, just like true love.
Ran kisses me and I marvel once again at how skilled he is. Quietly I send into his mind the velvetiness of his tongue and the heat of his mouth.
He gasps and breaks away, much to my disappointment. "What did you just do?"
I shrug. "Sharing of sensations, liked it?"
"It’s like kissing myself."
"Honey, technically, you are kissing yourself." I taunt.
"What like you have a tongue shoved in your mouth and at the same your tongue is shoved in someone’s mouth?" I’m completely unaware of how completely that sounds.
I roll my eyes. / No, I’m just extremely irritated… of course I’m angry imbecile, I did that to only one other person and that was because I was forced… /
/ Crawford… /
/ How’d you know? /
/ Why? /
I smirk. "Let me show you."
*********Flashback (WARNING: very long) *********
"Shit!" I caught Crawford as he fell. Blood soaked through his tux to my white trench coat. "Prodigy, Oracle is injured, mission aborted, evacuate immediately!"
"Schu…" Crawford was trying to speak, but the amount of blood lost in him was making it difficult for him even to stay conscious. "Forget me! Get the hell out of here."
"Look," I snapped, "you die, Taketori takes my head, or he gives us another leader who’s probably going to kill me either way."
"Schu, you’re so pessimistic…"
"Shut up, you’re gonna lose more blood if you talk." I drag him into the elevator and it starts ascending slowly. "Come on, come on…" I chant under my breath. "Please don’t stop half way…"
Elevators don’t understand negative sentences, I concluded as I hear a clunk and the elevator stops in the middle of nowhere and not only that, the lights also went out.
"Prodigy!" I screamed into the microphone.
"Schuldich, I’m having problems…" Nagi replied. "Can you hold for two hours?"
"…Two fucking hours?" I screamed again.
"I can hear you know." Nagi said irritated. "Somebody hacked the system… just hang in there."
I sighed and sat down next to Crawford. Noticing that his breath was slow, I grabbed him and shook him not so gently. "You go to sleep now, you’re gonna get a concussion and then you’re gonna fall asleep forever."
Crawford sat up, grabbing my shoulders for support. "Schuldich, can you reach the ceiling?"
/ Climb out, leave me… /
"Don’t you go on thinking that I’ll leave you in this hell hole…"
"Schuldich, I’m going to die anyway, there’s no way to save me…"
"Shut up before I make you, Crawford. We might not have been the best of friends, but I’m not going to let you down. And don’t you let me down either…"
/ Why are you being so stubborn? /
/ Do I need a reason to save somebody? /
/ If anyone else asked me that question, I would have answered no, but with you, yes. /
/ We’re a team, you’re my leader, and we’ve been together for two years, enough reason? Crawford, you’re not going to die on me. /
Crawford didn’t reply, and with a jolt, I could feel that the barrier he’d always held up in his mind had melted away.
/ Fuck, you can’t even keep up the barrier. /
/ Schuldich, leave me, get yourself out of this. /
/ NO! / I probed into his mind to find it very, very weak.
Closing my eyes, I concentrate my mind power into his and held on to his mind.
/ Schuldich, what are you doing? /
/ Saving your ass. / I replied curtly. / Now shut up and do as I say. /
/ You’re not bonding with me… /
/ I said shut up! /
/ Schuldich… /
/ Look, I can reverse it later, just… let me do this… /
/ Schuldich… you do realize that you would have to… /
/ Yes I DO realize that you will fuck me… just… shut up! /
/ Why are you doing this to me? /
I dropped my barrier. Letting all my emotion flood his brain…
He gasps. "Oh god… you’re on fucked up German."
I decide that I’ve had enough of his voice. And press my lips against his…
Ran stares at me. "You bonded with him?"
I nod. Grabbing the nearest drink and draining it, ignoring the protest from the owner and drag Ran outside into the alley. The cool air whips my hair and somehow clears my mind for a bit. Ran stares at me or maybe he’s just looking at me, but the way he looks at another person can be classified as glare. I look back into his eyes. I’ve lately discovered that Ran’s an incredibly emotional person, though his emotions do not show on his face, but his mind is so emotional that it would drag me down like a whirlpool.
I sit down on my heels in the dirty alley way and Ran crouches beside me. We look absurdly incongruous to the surrounding, like roses in cow dung as some would probably say. But what they don’t know is that the roses they see are worth little more than cow dung. Now, we look comfortably appropriate with the dirty muddy alley way.
I sigh and reach into my pocket to produce a few rolls of weed. I search my pants to discover that I hadn’t brought my lighter. "Fuck." I mutter. As I look up I see a lighter in front of my face.
Ran can be so disturbing sometimes.
We light up our weed and I inhale. The power of the drug soothes away the sharp senses and I welcome the haziness. Ran looks at the smoke coming from the lighted end… but he makes on move to take it.
"Are you gonna waste that or something?" I ask, mildly interested.
He stubs out the amber at the end on his boot. Then he looks at me dispassionately. "I want you."
I told you he’s unsettling.
My deluged brain is refusing to comprehend what he’s saying to me. "Huh?"
He grabs my weed and stubs it out on his boots. Then he grabs my face and kisses me, hard. If I’m not so drugged I’d have said that I’m dreaming, maybe I am… but right now I couldn’t exactly string two words together, partly because of the drug, partly because of that torturous tongue on my neck…
I stand up and grab his shoulders as well. Dragging him up and pinning him onto the wall. The light from the street lamp illuminates his face so he looks like a stone statue... something that does not belong in this context of time and place.
I rip off his top and latch myself onto his chest. Biting and licking and enjoying the throaty moans he utters. I slide my mouth and body down until I reach his leather-clad crotch… only to blow on it and come back up. He growls in frustration. "Tease…"
I grin, "Slut…" he bites my neck, enough to cause pain but not enough to actually draw blood, I sourly wonder what Omi’s going to think when he sees a set of teeth marks on my neck… and Kudou…
Suddenly I straighten myself, and back away from Ran altogether. He doesn’t want me, I realize, he saw Kudou today and he wants Kudou, except he can’t have him so he wants me instead…
He opens his eyes and stares at me. He’s wondering why I am stopping and he wants me back… I sigh. Fuck Kudou, I think, I want Ran as well.
He loses his patience when I don’t respond for a few minutes and grabs me by the elbows. Pulling me against him, he kisses me again, thrusting his tongue in my mouth. Damn but he’s so alluring.
I go back to my earlier ministrations and soon he’s a withering mass in my arms. When I finally pull down his pants and touch him at the centre of his desire I realize something is wrong, but Ran’s enthusiastic moans makes it so hard to concentrated on what the heck was wrong…
Fuck it, I think as I lift up one of his legs and prepare him. From somewhere he produces a condom and after a few failed attempts finally manages to put it on me. I enter him all too soon, and his powerful leg wraps around my waist, pulling me taunt against him, his body enveloping me.
Something fishy was definitely going on, I could feel him in more intimate than even intercourse… but my drugged jumbled brain just refuses to work and all that thinking was giving me a headache, I give up and rely on my senses. I could really feel Ran like he’s a part of me, I could feel Ran INSIDE me…
I stroke him in time with my thrusts and he finally comes, in my hands, almost the same time as I reach my release.
And that’s when I apprehend what was happening.
My mind barrier was down and I could feel another presence in my mind… oh no… this is not happening… not again… it’s not meant to be like that…
I stare at Ran furiously, he looks back confused. / Schuldich, what’s wrong? /
He didn’t say it out loud, I didn’t read it off his mind… he SENT it to me… through our bond…
"You BONDED with me?" Ran articulates. I finally gather enough strength and slam my shield back down. Ran pulls his pants back up and puts his shirt on, his eyes stare at the streetlight that was above us. I turn in his direction as well.
The light has exploded.
"We did that?"
I nod, I want to feel bad about this, but somehow, I could only think that I have finally won, Ran is finally mine, completely mine. I suddenly wanting so much to cry, not out of sorrow but out of joy, damn the drugs.
Ran smiles. "What are you so happy about?" He asks, sensing my emotions.
I chuckle again. "Come on, I'll drive you home."
After waiting for Schuldich till 4 in the morning and finally falling asleep on the sofa. I feel like shit. Crawford wouldn't stop bugging me at the moment and I finally give up and get out of the house.
Before I know it I am standing in front of Koneko No Sume Ie and wondering how I came here.
Seeing me, Omi rushes out from the shop. "Naoe! What are you doing here?"
"I¡" I ponder, what AM I doing here anyway? "Is Schuldich around?"
He blushes. "They¡ Schuldich and Ran-Kun are¡ sleeping." He stammers. I study him, from his pale blond hair to his innocent blue eyes. It's hard to think that he's already in his second year at university. Bu then again, it's hard to think that I'm going to be an adult in less than a month.
"Can I come in?" I ask.
"Sure!" He flashes a smile. The natural defensiveness in his speech when he met Schuldich and I in the nightclub has gone and replaced with friendliness. "Come in."
I slowly walk into the apartment and sit down on the sofa. Glancing around my surroundings, I'm surprised that the apartment resembles ours in some ways. However, there are little reminders of the past Schuldich and I so carefully concealed in our apartments, neither of us is ready to face the crimes we committed and the people whom we committed these crimes with. But time and situations are forcing us to face reality and deal with the past, slashing open our cocoon of lies which we wove around ourselves.
"Tea?" Omi asks. I smile and take the steaming cup from his hands. Our fingers brush and I blush a little.
Omi sits opposite of me, an awkward silence descends. Finally I decide to break it. "Um, when did they come here last night?"
Omi blushes again and I feel guilty for asking. "I'm not quite sure¡ I think it's around 5 in the morning¡" I raised a brow and he blushes some more. "I¡ uh ¡ heard them¡they were loud."
"Oh!" I realize what he's talking about and blush as well. "God you'd think they'd consider other people¡"
"I know." Omi replies. "Ran-Kun is becoming careless¡ in a manner sense of way. He never looses that grace." He blushes again, deepening the color of his skin which has just begun to return to normal.
I stare at him as I suddenly realize he likes Fujimiya, no, he LOVES Fujimiya. "You like him¡ don't you?"
He stares at me¡ "Is it that obvious?"
I shake my head; "It's visible, but not obvious. Only people who pay attention to you¡ no, more like only people who pays A LOT of attention to you would notice¡" I trail off, realizing what I have just revealed to him. "I mean¡ it's that¡ just¡ I mean" I stammer as I try to hide the mistake I've made, hoping he wouldn't notice.
I look up, going pale then turning crimson. "I¡"
"You ¡ like me?"
I gulp, no use hiding it now. "I love you Omi."
He stares at me obviously surprised. "Nagi!"
"No let me finish, I've been suppressing for so long I feel like exploding. I love you, ever since I saved you on that mission. I never stopped Omi, for four years¡ "
"Please don't interrupt me. I know you love Ran. I don¡¯t want to hurt you but¡ Omi, can't you see that he's not going to love you back? He's never looked upon you properly. What's the use of waiting for somebody who won't ever be yours?"
"I should say the same to you, Nagi." His smile is sad and full of pity.
"What?" I frown.
"I can't love you, Nagi. Sure, you are attractive and sweet and smart but Nagi, don¡¯t go wasting your feelings on me¡ I'm not worth it."
"Why not?" I stand up suddenly. "Why can't I be the one for you?"
"Nagi, calm down. I've given all my heart to Ran-Kun, all my heart, soul and love. I don¡¯t have any left in me to¡ love you."
"Then let me be by your side when you do. Just¡ let me be with you!"
"I'd be cheating on you. I'd be looking at you and seeing another being¡"
"I don't care! I'm willing to be a substitute¡ I don't mind being a second best. Please Omi I want to be with you." To my own disgust, I feel tears welling up.
Omi stands up crosses the floor to my sofa; he makes me sit down and sits down beside me and puts his arms around me. "Nagi, I'm sorry, if I hadn't fallen for Ran-Kun, I would certainly have welcomed you with my open arms. But, Nagi, I can't lead you on and let you live around some thing not real, I can't weave a cocoon of lies around you to make you feel good. You know that sweet lies hurt more than harsh truths."
"Would you rather Ran told you straight out that he doesn¡¯t love you or rather him lie and tell you that he does?"
Omi's arms go rigid and I stop. "No, I'm sorry, please, forget I ever said that, just stay like this, if I can't stay here forever, let me have your embrace just for a while, just a little longer¡"
A drop of tear falls on my hand; I look up to see that Omi is crying as well. Together we cuddle on the sofa, mourning for our unrequited loves.
"You love Schuldich don't you?"
Nagi opens his mouth to reply, but I cut him off. "No listen to me. I've seen the way you see him, the way you blush when he speaks to you, and the way your eyes follow him everywhere. Tell me, are you staying because of him? I could arrange to get him to US as well."
Just then Schuldich enters the hallway quietly. When he sees us, he stops. "I." he starts, but then decide to drop it. "Forget it."
He turns around.
"Do you want to go to US?"
He's clearly taken aback, but he doesn't loose control as I expected. "Why?"
"Nagi would go with you if you go. Won't you Nagi?"
"I." Nagi blushes a little bit. "I guess."
To my surprise Schuldich shakes his head. "You can go, I'm sure Crawford would take care of you."
Nagi stares after him, for a moment I am worried that his eyeballs would fall straight out of their sockets. "But Schuldich. you're not complaining that I would leave. here?" I know that Nagi had meant to say you, but took it back at the last moment.
"I think US is a great opportunity Nagi." Schuldich's voice was once again iron cold. "It's your own decision."
"But. aren't you going to care?" Schuldich simply doesn't bother answering but leave Nagi in his shock. When he enters his room, I follow him.
"Thought you were pretty determined to make him stay." I comment. He doesn't answer. I sit down on his chair and watch him as he tidy his room and my thoughts once again drift to his change in behavior.
Schuldich never does any house cleaning. Even Farfello knew that. But I often see him dusting the furniture, collecting laundry, folding and smoothing over-cloths and curtains. Plus he simply doesn't make any sarcastic comments or annoy us anymore, maybe the documents and the loss of telepathic powers really hit him hard, or he simply turns to Abyssinian....
I am suddenly stuck with the memory of my vision, that blue cube, could it have had anything to do with his loss of powers?
"Schuldich, what happened that night in the mission? What made you loose your powers?"
He greets my question with his grunt, which is becoming a very popular answer to most of the questions that are being addressed to him.
"Aren't you going to tell me?" I prompt. "Are you going to keep that secret to yourself?" I wait, no reply is given and I continue. "You should know by now that I could have seen these images through my."
"Then you don't need me describing them to you." He cut me off. I take in a shaky breath; this is not Schuldich, the old Schuldich knows better to do so. But, how could he not be Schuldich? There is a way to be sure. I ponder.
"Ok, we'll get off that depressing subject. You seem rather uncomfortable with it. Now, you know I've bee trying to find the photo album for ages. Apparently it isn't its old place and Nagi said that you put it away. could you tell me where it is? I'm rather curious with the more recent photos." If he IS Schuldich he would know that none of us ever bother with a photo album, we'd rather forget our past then to record it.
"I don't remember."
I raise my eyebrows, this is getting amusing. "But you must, you're the one who tidied things up."
"It was among a lot of other things."
"Oh I'm pretty sure you remember it, you always treasured it so you could torment us with memories. 'People's thoughts taste like honey, and memories are the extra sugar' remember?" I quote him. "Besides, we all know that you have the best memory out of all of us. I'm pretty sure you remember exactly where it is."
He grips the sheets, a movement only I could catch. I smirk, because his hands are shaking.
I stare, there was only another time he had lost his cool, and I let myself sink into the memories.
*********Flashback (What do you mean I have too many of them?) *********
/ I thought you said you could reverse it! / I sent angrily.
Schuldich shook his head painfully. / I can't Brad. its too risky. /
/ Why weren't you thinking of risks when you bonded with me? /
/ I was trying to save your life! / He argued.
/ Nobody asked you to do such a thing Schuldich. and now with you stuck with me forever, I'd rather be dead! /
Schuldich collapsed at the amount of anger I've poured into the bond. Nagi stopped him from hitting the ground using telekinesis. "Schuldich, what's happening?"
Schuldich smirks weakly, his smirk is always a mask to conceal how he feels. "Some psychopath must have been near us, you know how bad my mind gets when I get near these kinds of people."
/ Schuldich, are you sure we cannot reverse it? /
/ Crawford. / He was almost desperate when he called to me. / Don't do it. /
/ You mean there is a way? /
/ Yes, you sort of rip it out, but Crawford. /
Without any hesitation I pull at the bond and winced at the pain. Schuldich screamed. "You BASTARD!"
More determined, I pulled harder this time, and gasped when I felt a part of me was tugged away. like some kind of memory loss, it was very hard to describe the feeling, and I felt a wave of nausea come up and suppressed it.
Schuldich had fainted; blood was running from his ears, eyes, nose and mouth. Nagi grabbed my collar and screamed. "What did you do to him?!" but I could not hear anything, I could only stare at Schuldich, he looked so alive a moment ago. what have I done?!
I lifted him up and cradled him in my arms. He was so cold. The blood spluttered on my shirt and I tried in vain to stop the bleeding, I let Nagi lift him up using his powers and to his room. I could not get over my shock. I've killed him.
Later that day Nagi told me he was alive, but with a not so minor concussion and he would hear none of my excuses. When I tried to go and see how Schuldich was doing he threw me down the stairs and threatened me that if from now on I was to harm Schuldich in anyway, I would pay for it using my life.
After a week, I went to America.
"I'll get it for you." He rises suddenly and walks out of the door. I grin at my triumph but then I am caught with confusion. If he's not Schuldich.then who is he?
Who could obtain such a DNA sample that he could make a replica of Schuldich that acts like. Abyssinian!
Then it hits me. It's not ACTING like Abyssinian, this IS Abyssinian! Ever since the night of the mission, Abyssinian has been in that body all along. But if Abyssinian is here, where is Schuldich?
My thoughts drift as I sit outside Naoe's room. After living with him for 3 weeks I've learnt not to disrupt him while he's on the computer, he gets very irritated if you do that.
Slowly I recall what happened yesterday and feel a small shiver creep up my spine. Maybe we really shouldn't have done it, but what came out of it was. absolutely amazing.
/ Knock, knock beautiful kitten. / Schuldich's voice suddenly appears in my head. I lean back on the door, enjoying the rush of warmth that tingles through my body as his voice floods my mind. / Did you miss me? /
/ No. /
/ I am so hurt, to think, I bonded with you and put up with your ex who is currently staring at my butt just for you and you didn't even MISS me? /
/ You sound like a jealous girlfriend. /
/ Thank you very much faggot, must I remind you that you are the one who can't sit properly right now. /
/ Oh, shut up. /
/ Ok, ok, truce. So, what are you doing? /
/ Waiting for Naoe to show me where you put your photos. /
/ Photos! What gave you that idea? /
/ Crawford asked. /
I sensed his sudden nervousness. / But. we don't take photos, our memories are crap, its bad enough we remember them. /
/ Then why did he ask? He probably forgot. /
/ I highly doubt that, if anybody could escape the stupidity disease, which could infect anybody who goes to America, its Crawford. /
/ Then he must've been trying to test me. Do you think he might suspect something? /
/ Well, you need more acting skills it's what I say. /
/ Thank you, you are the most talented when it comes to comforting a person's nerves. /
/ Oh I do that all the time. / His mental voice suddenly becomes serious. / Ran, about this bond. we can't keep it. its very risky. /
/ Why? /
/ You could be consumed by it. /
/ What? It eats you up or something? /
/ No. if one of us dies, the other is most likely to go insane. /
/ Schuldich! / I sense the sudden anxiety in him and sooth him. / We won't die. /
I am about to reply when I hear Crawford's voice, "What are you doing?"
I break connection with Schuldich and glance up at Crawford. "Spacing off."
Crawford smirks, "If I hadn't known better, I'd say you were reading somebody's mind, but since only Schuldich's mind could do that, then I guess it's not surprising that after his mind is gone, so are his abilities."
For a moment I freeze, then as I ponder his words I stand up, "I gotta go." However, before I could move away from him I feel cold metal pressing to my neck.
"Give me one good reason to shoot you right now, Abyssinian, and I swear I would."
I stop dead in his tracks and slowly turn to him. My faces betraying no feelings- not fear, anxiousness, not any panic. "So you figured it out."
"Well, there ARE no photo albums in the house, anywhere let me assure you." He smirks. "Did you really think you could get away with it? So, tell me, what have you done with Schuldich?"
"He's in my body." But before he could reply I continue. "Listen to me; we had no intention of hiding this from you, Oracle. But circumstances."
"Well, it's good that pretty little mouth of Schuldich is finally being rational. Circumstance is a very bad excuse Abyssinian. "
I don't reply. We stand like this for a few minutes or a few billion years, I'd never know. Until I feel a hand on my chest, and traveling south.
"Get your paws off me." I try to keep my body and voice from shaking. If I had my katana with me, I'd at least have some chances against Crawford, but the few times I battled against him tell me that even with a weapon, I stand little chance against him.
"This body, Ran, is not pure or innocent, you don't know where that hand," he touches my hand, "or that mouth has been." I feel his heat behind me, so close "You don't know who touched this skin, who kissed it." his mouth is on my neck. I fight back the urge to throw up. "Who fucked this body."
As hard as I can, I shove my elbow into his stomach and my hip bone into his groin, he doubles over in pain and I dash towards the stairs.
I'm almost out the front door when he catches me, effectively pinning me onto the kitchen sink. "Where do you think you are going?"
He smirks, "Don't give me that shit, Ran, I know you couldn't care less about him."
"You don't know a fucking thing."
He knees me in the groin and I gasp at the pain. "You don't know how long I wanted this body, Ran."
"What are you two doing?"
I close my eyes, thank you lord, thank you Naoe.
"Nagi, can't you come at a time when you don't disrupt something?"
"Oh," He turns a faint pink, "I'm so sorry, I'll."
I scream. "Naoe."
And then Crawford is off me and flying across the room, slamming on the door, hard. Naoe rushes beside me, grabbing me with his powers as he asks. "Are you ok?"
Crawford suddenly laughs and we both look at him. It looks like Nagi's his spine. "Nagi, do you even know who that IS?"
Crawford is laughing harder now, "Schuldich! Ha, have you noticed the very Abyssinian like behavior of this 'Schuldich'?" He attempts to stand, but fails and slumps against the door.
"Yes, you got me right," blood starts seeping out of his mouth as he tries to speak, "this is not Schuldich, but Fujimiya fucking Aya, Abyssinian, who tried to kill..."
Naoe had glanced at me and then at Crawford at least 5 times when Crawford was talking, and now he suddenly snaps.
"If Schuldich trusts him, then so do I."
Silence crashes on the three of us. I am awed at how much trust Naoe places with Schuldich, and Crawford is currently devastated at the fact that Naoe no longer trusts him. I suddenly realize that Naoe knows what happened between Crawford and Schuldich.
Crawford burst into another fit of laughter, he's near hysterical now, Naoe clutch my hand a little tighter and I realize he's scared. I clutch his hand back. I hear his mutter, "What are we going to do? Oh lord what are we going to do?" I turn to Crawford in confusion, and watch in horror as he chokes, then cough and a great amount of blood splutters to the ground. More blood pours out as he laughs his mouth a fountain of red. I try to cover Naoe's eyes, but he forces away my hands and stares as Crawford slowly crumble to the ground, still spluttering blood and choking on it.
"I killed him." Naoe whispers. "I killed him."
The simple words brought me to my senses. I rush to Crawford's side and feel his chest. My stomach sinks in realization. At least 5 ribs are broken and I could guess that at least 2 had punctured the lung, fatal. Nagi slowly crawls up beside me. "He's. dead isn't he?"
The door burst open and Schuldich run in, he glances at me, then at Naoe, then at the body of Crawford, which is still spluttering blood.
"Oh my god."
Naoe stares at Schuldich then suddenly burst into tears. "Schuldich." He tries to attaches himself to Schuldich's waist. However before he gets there he collapses.
Schuldich picks him up and turns to me / you told him? /
/ No, Crawford did, after he tried. /
/ He tried to kill you? / I can sense anger from him, and much to my disbelief, fear.
/ Worse. he tried to. rape me. /
/ He did NOT! /
/ He did, and he would have succeeded if Naoe hadn't come in time. /
Schuldich closes his eyes briefly and suddenly cries out. "Fuck!"
Interlude- Revelations (Ken)
"Mr. Hidaka, I didn't expect you to come home so early, Mr. Kudou said that you'd be in rehab for at least another week¡" I stare at a man bowing to me as I approach the address Yohji told me to come to.
"Uh, hi¡" I didn't know I could speak French so well.
"I'm Pierre, remember, your neighbor?"
"Oh! Hi! I'm sorry; the accident caused me to loose some of my memories¡" I laugh and scratch the back of my head, feeling embarrassed.
"Then it is forgivable, Mr. Hidaka, as long as you do not forget Mr. Kudou¡"
"Oh, no. He's just the sort of person you wouldn't forget even if you have permanent amnesia." Yes, loud, annoying as hell but totally unforgettable.
"Yes, you two do make a happy couple¡"
"Couple?" What on earth is this guy talking about? Before I could ask him however, his mobile rings and he excuses himself from me.
I didn¡¯t think there was ever a place so hard to find, but somehow my feet knew where to turn and which flight of stairs to take. When I finally approached the apartment and opened the door, I am awestruck with a huge painting of myself hanging opposite the wall.
It would have being normal if I am not¡ naked.
Not only that, I'm¡ touching¡ myself.
I screw my eyes shut, wishing that this is all a dream, but no, my body on the painting doesn't go away when I open my eyes. Carefully, I shut the door and walk to painting and gasp.
Right there, on the bottom right-hand corner was Yohji's signature, in Japanese. I look up again at the painting, then down at the signature and speak out loud. "This is not happening to me."
Why would I pose for Yohji, and in such a suggestive way?
Quietly I look around the living room. It's not big, but sufficient for two people. I walk over to the top of the TV and find a picture of Yohji and me, pashing.
I take the picture from the frame and see something at the back. It's my handwriting in the kanji character, "love".
I seriously need a drink.
When I go into the kitchen I open a cupboard and find grab a cup, but underneath that there are several plastic- packets and I reach for them¡Only to wish I hadn't done so. They were condoms. The pure thought that Yohji might have had sex in here is scary enough, considering how small it is. The fact that the one who was with Yohji might have been me is horrifying.
Slowly I pour some orange juice, which I get from the refrigerator. Gulping down it in one go, I turn my thoughts on the fact that I am currently dating Kudou, Yohji Kudou, the number one playboy in the world.
I walk out of the kitchen to the bathroom and throw the cupboards open. As I expect, more condoms, and on top of that are some small bottles of lubes, a particular packet, which hasn't being opened and on the cover there was the words "'To Ken, hope this makes your life easier, love you forever and a day, Yohji".
I sit down on the bed, which I notice is king sized, and sigh. Working out that you are Yohji's lover since¡ my god, since 3 years ago, doesn't happen everyday. But¡ how did we end up together? I though we were in Japan and Yohji was with Aya¡
Suddenly the need to know what happened becomes so crucial. I stand up and furiously throw open all the draws and cupboards¡ all clothes and no writing.
I run into the living room, none. Yohji left nothing to tell me who I am and all that¡ the kitchen proves the same.
Then I saw the rubbish bin. In there is a letter in Yohji¡¯s scrawled writings. I grab it and saw that it was addressed to me. I ripped it open.
Whey you are reading, I will be gone. You can call it cowardliness, or you can call it deceive. But what's important is I know that my decision is right. Ken I can't face you anymore, I can't face the fact that the man I have loved for 4 years is¡ not there.
Maybe one day you'll remember and tell me that I deserve this. And after what happened, I feel that I do as well. By this time you'll probably think what on earth is this idiot rambling on about. Ken I'm not sure if you want to know the truth. I'm not sure if I should tell them to you. I'm not even sure if it IS the truth¡ then, I feel the need to tell you, and you have a right of knowing, and except for me, I don't think anyone else should tell what happened between us to you.
What happened, Ken, was the biggest mistake in the world.
// Tell me lies, slap me on the face, just,
Improvise. Do something really clever,
That'll make me hate your face forever. //
Your lost memory dates back approximately 3 years ago. When Aya and I were still going out, you caught us in action shall we say on the couch, with Omi mind you and you refused to talk about it for a whole month. Both Aya and I thought that you were homophobic, before I overheard you talking with Omi about how I choose Aya over you¡then I realized that my heart lies not with the one my body lies.
I felt the need to confront you, but I didn't have the courage and I seriously didn't want to hurt Aya, for, he's finally acting somewhat like a human being. It was you who came to me, telling me to stop staring at your butt and get back to Aya. It was then I realized that everybody knew, except for Aya, who was so infatuated with me he failed to notice that I'm actually deceiving him.
I couldn't take it anymore, and one night, after drinking about 7 cups of vodkas, I went into your room and kissed you. You could guess what happened afterwards that night.
That was the first time. I remember it so well, the taste of your skin, your mouth, your sweat, your desire. Sweet and hot at the same time, you tasted of sin¡ blissful and sweet, the ecstasy of deceive, yet it had the bitterest aftertaste. Yes, you tasted of sin, of hot suppressed desire.
// You might swear, you'd never touch a lady
Well, let me say, you're not far from maybe
Everyday you find new ways to hurt me¡ //
At first it was just the sex. I guess you could say that both of us weren't ready to face each other, I still told Aya I loved him and you still went off with women. This relationship, if it was a relationship at all, went on for over 10 months. Ten months Ken, that's deceiving everybody, including ourselves, for almost a year. The tension of deceive built up, until one day you couldn't take it anymore.
Your exact words to me were "Damn it Yohji, I know, you know, why can't we say it out loud? Are you afraid?" I nodded and you told me, in your most serious voice, with furrowed eyebrows making your eyes so intense I felt like I was drowning in them. "I love you damn it, I fucking loved you for fucking, god, ever since I saw you¡"
We both knew we can't cocoon ourselves in weaves of lies, but the truth was like a dagger. Ken, your confession wasn't sweet or fuzzy or even romantic. It was violent and bleak, like the winter snow, or Aya's Katana, beautiful and deadly. So I confessed to you, "I love you too Ken. But what are we going to do? Oh god what are we going to do?"
// But I can't help it if I'm just a fool
Always having my heart set on you
Till the time you start changing the rules
Ah, fool. //
We were both crying tears streaking down our face as we shared our most passionate kiss. And my lover chose that moment to come in.
He Shi-Ne-ed. He slashed his katana around cutting your arm until he hurt Omi. Somehow Aya always had a tender side towards Omi, he cared for him deep down, and I think it may even be love¡ but I can't be sure. He gave us a look and carried Omi into his room to bandage him. That look Ken¡ it drove us out of the house, the city, and the country.
We went the next day, packing our bags and leaving before dawn.
// God resigned, from hearing my old story
Every night, I'm praying hell for glory
I'm embarrassed but I'm much more sorry. //
I attended art school here you may possibly have seen it through that painting I did a few months after we came here. I got pretty high marks for that (partly because my model was well fitted for the work). For those first 6 or 7 months, we were the happiest couple in the universe, our universe, which crumbled slowly after the first year.
I guess humans developed lying and not facing the truth as a kind of self-defense, avoiding hurt and sorrow as they did so. What they don't realize is that¡ there is no escape from the truth, and the later we postpone our confrontations and revelations, the more hurt we are going to get.
We both knew that the other wasn't happy, and we both knew that we weren't happy for one reason, Aya. And it was also then that I realized that I love Aya. No I didn't write 'loved' because I still do, and will. Aya is like my natural predator, I can't exist without him and yet, if I come too near, he'd consume me. I am doomed to love Aya for all this life I guess, maybe because I owed him too much in our previous one.
For half a year we tried to hide from each other, you were guilty that you nearly killed Aya because Omi said so in the only letter he wrote to us that we never replied. And I was guilty for deceiving my lover's heart, yet again.
// All this pain begins to feel like pleasure
With my tears, you¡¯d make a sea a desert
Salt my wounds and I'll keep saying thank you. //
2 weeks ago, we finally broke. We had the biggest argument. I wouldn't repeat our language to each other, we were both hurt and people tend to say things they don't mean when they are. Then the next night, after you've gone for a complete 32 hours, you came home with a big bunch of roses to say sorry. Only to catch me with someone else¡ our neighbor, Pierre in fact and you ran out of the building only to be nearly ran over by a car. (There were a few lines that I couldn¡¯t read properly because the writing was so sloppy and it had big wet patches here and there) When you woke up, you have effectively wiped off any memories you had of me as a lover and asked me happily. "Where is Aya? Where am I? What are you doing here? Why are you here? Why isn't Aya with you?"
I was crying you remember, and¡ the rest you should know.
Only something I should tell you. I'm going back to Aya, I've decided, if my life ends with waiting for his forgiveness, then so be it. There are some things in life one cannot hide from, and one of them is the love of your life.
Ken I don't deserve someone like you, I don't deserve a lot of things life has given. Indeed, sometimes I don't think I even deserve life. I¡ I loved you Ken, don't ask me how one could love 2 at a same time, but what I felt for you was more than brotherhood and more than sex, I truly loved you. I use to tell you that our love would last forever and a day. But now as I look back, the days with you were by far the happiest days in my life, and the memories, though you have forgotten them, shall forever burn in my head, beyond time and space.
//But I can't help it if I'm just a fool
Always have my heart set on you
Till the time you start changing the rules
Ah, fool. //
By now you probably regretted in reading this letter, to tell the truth, I nearly ripped it up myself¡
Take care of yourself Ken. I wish from the bottom of my heart that you would find true happiness with someone you truly love and who loves you back, with all his heart.
They say one should learn from one's mistake, and my advise is¡ don't attempt to fall for another playboy again.
Yours with all my heart,
P.S. if you don't like that painting, burn it.
I put the letter carefully back into its envelope, setting it onto the table. I don't know what to feel- my heart felt as if somebody knotted up its chambers and the veins and arteries of my body are all not in place. I can't think, there are a thousand thoughts racing around and a thousand voices screaming.
I didn't cry, I realize. How odd, I feel so strangely empty yet I'm suddenly remembering all that was 'effectively forgotten' as Yohji said.
The bastard, why did he have to remind me?
The smell of smoke fills my nostrils but I can't exactly realize what is going on. I look to see that Yohji's painting is on fire, so is the kitchen and so is everything else around me.
The image of me burns and withers as the flames slowly consume it. I throw Yohji's letter into the fire as well. Outside there are voices shouting and some woman screams.
Suddenly I laugh. So here is the end of the story between two faggots. Who would have thought? As I stare into the bright flames I suddenly find it difficult to breathe and see.
As I look up at the disappearing painting. I feel my heart fill with regret.
Too bad, I would have loved the painting.
Schuldich strokes Nagi's hair, so gently as if he's afraid that Nagi might break if he pressed just a little harder. The poor boy is still unconscious, beads of sweat gathered on his forehead and between his eyebrows. Schuldich refused to leave either of us alone so he ended up sitting in the front passenger seat with Nagi in his lap. I look back onto the road, trying to control my nerves, but the feel of Crawford's hands on my body and his gun at my head remain in my brain and refuses to go away.
A wave of tranquillity washes through the bond into my head, soothing me like a tranquilizer. I glance at Schuldich gratefully, sending my gratitude to him.
He reaches towards me with his free hand and grabs mine. / Ran, I. / I can feel the distress in him.
/ It's not your fault. / I soothe, / Crawford was plain fanatical. /
/ It's not that. you shouldn't be living my life, it is shit, you shouldn't be dealing my problems for me. /
I'm moved by his concern, I squeeze his hand. / You don't deserve that either. And I'm fine. /
He feels guilty. / But. /
/ Schuldich, I'm fine, Crawford's dead, he won't try to rape either of us anymore. Nor would he try to harm you in anyway. /
I stop at a traffic light. Without warning he leans over and kisses me, throwing his arms around me holding me tightly. / Ran, I love you. / He sends half heartedly, his mind is still on Nagi.
I stop, I can sense no real emotions behind that sentence. he doesn't love me! He's just saying it! The force of the insight hit me so hard I just sit there stiffly, like a statue, unaware that the lights have turned from red to green, then back to red again.
/ Ran! / Schuldich pulls away, / what is it? /
His mental voice draws me out of my trance and I look at him. He looks so worried but I know that emotion is just a play on his face, he doesn't care for me. I will myself to smile, and the corners of my mouth tugs up with difficulty.
/I'm ok. /
He's relieved and suddenly sags against my shoulder. / Don't ever scare me like that again. / Then he forces me to look at him in his eyes. / I DO love you Ran, don't you doubt that. / But I can see that his mind is still on Naoe.
I turn around and step on the accelerator hard, throwing him back on his seat. I don't doubt his love, because they're not for me. And I can already feel the reality tearing me apart.
He's back to stroking Nagi's hair, his mind completely on the boy in his lap and I struggle to keep from crying. I want to scream but I can't, I would not let Schuldich get the better of me, I would not let ANYONE get the better of me. I shall never love again.
I look at Schuldich's crimson head, I'm furious with him. But I know I cannot hate him. And maybe it's time to finally end this psychosis.
Please god or whatever deity there is, if I cannot have my body, at least let me keep my soul.
I blink back tears once again. I really DO love Schuldich. and that hurt so much more than the fact that he doesn't love me.
The phone rings and I put down my arrangements and pick it up. "Hello?"
"May I speak to Kudou-San?" Bad Japanese come from the other end.
I call Yohji and he picks it up. "Hello?"
He switches to French almost immediately, after fifteen minutes of conversation. Yohji-Kun puts down the phone and looks at me. I know that look, Ran-Kun gave it to me constantly during the first few weeks after Yohji and Ken left, it's a look when the person looks at you but doesn't see you.
"What?" I look up, shocked. In a hurry I drop a rose and my finger gets cut, I suck on the blood.
"Fire, I think he set it himself or something." suddenly he blinks and before he could continue, the door of our flower shop opens and Schuldich, Ran-Kun who's carrying Nagi-Kun rushes in, Nagi-Kun is unconscious.
"Omi," Ran-Kun turns to me. "Get me some blanket and some tranquilizer and some clean clothes."
"Calm down," Schuldich-Kun stops him. "Yohji, go get some clothes and blanket. Omi, get some tranquilizers and a cup of warm water. And close the shop."
Somehow Yohji and I have this feeling that Schuldich-Kun is not to be disobeyed and rush to do as he told, but before we could move however, the front door gets knocked down. We turn to see who the intruders are.
But she isn't the only one at the door. Beside her I could see 5 other figures. She smiles a smile that never reached her eyes. "Time for revenge kitten."
She fires at me and I wince in pain when the bullet hits my shoulder. However, Ran-Kun rushes to Yohji and dump Nagi into his arms. "Don't you dare let him get hurt." He threatens. He turns around and throws Schuldich- Kun a gun from his pocket. He himself gets out another gun as well.
Schuldich-Kun nods and shoots at Schoen. Dead hit, Schoen falls down and I wonder how I'm going to clean that bloodstain out. However, the other five advances and I scream.
You would as well if you saw who one of them is.
I'm hallucinating, I MUST be hallucinating, I killed the bastard off with my own hands, how did he.
I can't wonder because Ran-Kun's bullets are having no effect on him and Schuldich-Kun is nowhere in sight. Masafumi advances onto Ran-Kun and grabs his throat, lifting Ran-Kun into the air, cutting off his oxygen supply.
I grab the nearest object that appeals to me, and it turns out to be a cutting knife, and I throw. Anytime now, and I'd be replacing Schoen.
It cut off the whole arm with the hand still attached to Ran-Kun. He falls and pries the hand off his neck. I turn to see Masafumi and the grossest thing comes in view.
He's got his own arm, and he's EATING it.
Before he could eat it all up however, Schuldich-Kun is in front of me all for a sudden and with a few quick moves with Ran-Kun's katana he moves aside. Masafumi is nothing but human jam.
We look up to see the other four are nowhere in sight.
Schuldich-Kun looks at me. "Are you ok?"
I nod. "No big deal, it just looks bad." Schuldich-Kun nods and I see a hand snaking from under his armpits, Ran-Kun's hands.
"You really have perfected that katana." He whispers in Schuldich-Kun's ears, but not so soft that I can't hear them, nor so soft that Yohji can't hear them.
As I expected, Yohji scowls. "Get a room." he storms off.
Ran-Kun lets go of Schuldich and look at the mess on the floor. It was a color of rotten flesh.Wait a minute, how can a newly dead body smell rotten? Where.?
I knew there was something wrong with that Masafumi, the liquid flowing out of him isn't blood, it's something so much more concentrated and. rotten. I look up at Ran-Kun and he smirks. "Masafumi's invention, the wanker obviously fucked around with death and somehow worked out how to make a body function after its dead." He kicks the dead body into the back alley.
Schuldich-Kun nods, "Like Frankenstein. Except the body rots away as it functions, and the only way of destroying it is to deform it."
Then I realize that both of their coats are bloods soaked. "What happened to.?"
"Nagi killed Crawford." Ran-Kun replies and suddenly utters out "shit, Nagi." Before pushing past me and grabbing that thin body off the chair Yohji has so un-ceremonially dumped it in. He rushes past me while Schuldich-Kun turns to grab a hose and tries to rinse off the blood on the floor
I feel so empty suddenly, since when has Schuldich turn so much more important to Ran Kun than me that even a friend of his is gets more attention than I do? I DO have a bullet stuck in my shoulder you know.
"Omi." Schuldich is somehow standing in front of me. A wave of hatred washes over me and I gaze intensely at him. He flinches.
"What do you want?"
"I need to bandage your arm."
"Why don't you go help your little prodigy, he's certainly in a trance." I snap back, my voice bitter in my mouth. God I hate him.
We stare at each other, my anger melt away bit by bit. We're so alike, Weiss and Schwartz, black and white. We're the opposite sides to a same coin. And our lives are both cursed with the same spell.
Suddenly, he scoops me up and rushes me upstairs, despite my struggles.
I wake up to see a pale face framed by crimson hair. In the moonlight, the amethyst orbs seem to shine and sparkle. He slowly places a towel on my head. I frown in confusion, why is Fujimiya here? Then I remember about the switch and I capture the hand.
"Tell me what happened Schuldich"
He startles, I guess he hadn't realized that I am awake. Quietly he props me up among the pillows, and reach to turn on the lamp. I stop him.
Quietly he closes his eyes and I feel images flood into my mind. I close my eyes as I receive his memory.
The mission. the fight. the switch. the explosion.
When it's over, I look up. "Schuldich? How?"
He smirks, "Now, for someone who's just killed their former team leader, you are pretty inquisitive." He stands from the bed, "you need rest, and sleep." He goes out from the room.
There it is again. Schuldich has this way of forcing reality onto you. I feel my heart lurch and clutch so much I crouch over in pain. I feel tears stinging in the back of my eyes. I thought I could just pretend. Just pretend that for 15 minutes that I am a normal teenager. One, who hasn't been one of the most dangerous assassins in Tokyo, who doesn't know telekinesis, who hasn't been rejected by someone who he's in love for four years, who hasn't killed his former employer.
But that German had to force me, had to shove life in my face without a trace of gentleness and ease, so bleak, so harsh, so brutal.
Why? Not now, I want to forget. I don't want to face this. I'm not ready.
I hold my head and scream. I can't take this anymore.
Omi, Ran and Schuldich rush in. "Nagi! Are you alright?"
"What the hell happened?"
"Oh my god."
I look around, all glass has shattered and the window frame is bent in a sickening angle that reminds me of a fractured bone. "I'm sorry." I start.
"It's ok." Omi gives me a smile. He hands me a cup of hot chocolate that has spilled a bit because of the running. I drank from the mug, the lukewarm water soothing my nerves. Omi sits down beside me and draws up the blankets around me like a tent, covering my back and shoulders. His arm remains around me as he looks up at Schu. I mean Fujimiya. "What did you do to him?" His eyes are full of hatred.
I want to tell him that he has the wrong Schuldich, but Schuldich stops me in my mind. / No, Ran might not want it. Keep it a secret for now. /
Meanwhile, Fujimiya visibly flinches. "I don't know what you are talking about, I was with you."
Omi narrows his eyes; "I know how you could manipulate somebody from across Tokyo."
"Why would I ."
Schuldich finally decides to interfere. "Omi, that's enough."
Omi whips his face around and stares at Schuldich. "I said one sentence, Ran. And here you are defending for your lover. or whatever you are to him like I bit him or something."
"Omi!" Schuldich calls out. "For gods sake.what are you getting at?"
"What I'm getting at is that I've had about enough of you two glomming each other in this house."
"You realize I pay for you don't you. If you have a problem, get out."
"Ran." Fujimiya decides to interfere.
"No, I won't allow this," Schuldich turns suddenly to Ran. "I've put up with this brat for way too long, and he doesn't even appreciate this." he stares at Omi."He's so spoilt he doesn't even know the sky is above his head, not under his nose."
Stalemate. Omi's sapphire and Schuldich's amethyst seem to sizzle and burn.
Finally, Omi suddenly whips his head away from the two and his shoulders sag, I think he realizes that he's overreacting. I pat his hand and he looks at me. I breathe in, "calm down." I bury his head in my shoulder and he stays there.
Fujimiya is staring at us, and I give him a stare that says fuck off. He gets the message, maybe a bit too clearly. For he suddenly storms out of the room.
Schuldich gives us a death-glare, which proves that he DIFINITELY lived too long with Fujimiya and runs off.
I rake my hair with my fingers. Omi is sobbing silently in my shoulders. He looks up into my face and smiles at me weakly. His face is streaked of tears.
// I can't love you. //
Suddenly his blue eyes seem so cold. I can't help but think he's not seeing me as the person who's in his arms.
// I don't have any left in me to. love you. //
Outside I could hear the buzz of the city and a distant plane, a refrigerator running downstairs, some baby crying next door, and the sound of billowing wind.
// Now, for someone who's just killed his former team leader, you are pretty inquisitive. //
A cricket's cry a million crickets' cries.all noises, which seems so disturbing and frustrating.
I can't stand this. I can't stand this fucking noise.
I want to escape.
I want out.
I push Omi away, a little too hard, but I don't bother and run out of the door. I could hear Omi's faint cry for me to stay behind with him.
Aya is full of gunpowder when I find him. He's at the beach again. It's finally open to public, but the overcast in the sky robbed anybody of will to come, especially since now the sun has set. that is except for Ran.
"Now, now Ran." I smirk. "You're over-reacting, I'm pretty sure Omi is not."
Ran shakes his head. / This isn't about Omi Schuldich. /
/Well, you don't need to worry about Yohji, he'll go away. /
"You don't love me do you?"
I'm taken aback at the forceful emotion behind that sentence. "Ran."
"You never loved me." Ran states almost matter-of-factly, "All of what you had said, you know, that you loved me and all that shit, it wasn't true."
For once in my life, I'm utterly speechless. How did he find out?
Ran shakes his head. "You. you're not going to deny it?"
"Ran, I know you've been through a lot recently but you can't just go out all at me."
"Schuldich! Did you listen to what I said? This isn't about anyone else, it's about you."
"What did I do?" I spread my arms. "Did I hurt you? Did I fight with you? Did I call you names?"
"You lied to me."
"That's not lying!"
"So what is?" He retorted and before I could come up with an answer he continued. "Telling someone you don't love that you do is not called lying. Schuldich, do you think toying with my emotions is amusing? Do you find satisfaction in fucking around with my mind?"
My shoulders sag. "NO, Ran, I was helping you, big emotional things with Yohji," I hold up my fingers and wriggle them, "Remember? I was helping you out from your emotional turmoil."
".By lying to me."
"Ran, let me explain."
"Then explain and stop making excuses, they're so pathetically pitiful."
I sigh again. "Why don't you think I love you?"
Ran smiles without any humour. "Schuldich, we have a BOND. and I can very well sense your emotions even if you block me out."
"Then you should know that."
"Affection and lust don't add up to love Schuldich." Ran cuts me off. "And you just told me that you were helping me when you said that you love me."
"I did not!" I feel very feeble and indignant. I can see why Ran is pissed off.
"Schuldich, I think I deserve better."
"Well you don't."
Ran gapes. "What did you say?" he was suddenly angry, not pissed, but angry and dangerous and cold, like steel, like guns.
"You don't deserve anything better than what I gave you Ran." I retort. "You are nothing but an assassin, your eyes are so blinded by the blood that you can't see what's in front of you."
"Do you know what I see in front of me Schuldich? I see an assassin who's equally blinded by blood, wait, he's not only blinded, he's soaked, so soaked that there's nothing inside of him except for foul rotting blood." He accentuates the last three words.
"Not anymore." Ran smirks, somehow that face he's wearing gets back some of its old glory. "I've had enough of fucking around with you Schuldich..."
"Oh I know now, you're going to crawl back to Kudou, to your supposed love of life." I grab his collar and pull his face right up close to mine. The anger that's boiling in my veins is clouding my vision. I can't think of anything now but to hurt him. "I'm nothing but a fling to you right? A whore that lasted a bit longer than the other ones you fuck around with each and every night."
I saw it coming. it was like the films. Ran's fist connected solidly with my face, swift and sharp. I stumble as sweet warm blood fills my mouth from the force. I touch the corner of my lips to find blood flowing out, and I wipe it away almost frantically.
"I guess that marks the end of our 'fling'." I smirk, it's like a mask, if I feel emotional, be it anger, disgust or anything else, I smirk. I want to scream, I want to rip out the bond and let him bleed to his death, but I know I cannot.
Sometimes during our dispute the clouds unfolded and the moon is shining down at us. I stare at Ran's face. well, my face. Ran's crying.
The tears look awkwardly out of place against the rigid edges of my cheekbones and jaws. I watch hypnotized as a drop of translucent liquid slid down my chin and down the neck, until it disappeared in the collar of Ran's coat. The clear liquid soothed away any anger I felt for him, they were replaced by something so strong, was it love?
"Fuck you Mastermind."
It's meant as a joke, but neither of us finds it funny. Sighing, I turn and walk away. I will forget Ran, I tell myself, I will forget this fling. Yet I clutch at my chest as it contracts. I can literally feel the pain. Why am I hurt by his pain? Must be the bond.
"I do, you know." Ran says.
I turn around. "What?" the emotion doesn't go away, and I feel it spreading all over my body and I can't help but hope that he would say.
"I love you."
I never get to find out whether it is a dream. Zombies are running towards us one of them point a rifle at Ran.
I kick at the pebbly stones on the beach, fucking German, fucking Aya. oh I mean RAN. Fucking Schienend, fucking life.fucking Ken.. Fuck..
Why did he have to go and kill himself? Why can't he fucking get over me? Why hadn't I ripped up that letter?
Personally I know that if I don't tell him what happened he's eventually going to find out anyway, and probably from somebody who exaggerated the whole event, after all, it did kind of shake the whole neighborhood.
Besides, what if the police got involved. France isn't the most open-minded country in the world. the talks would drown him.
Then again, I sincerely wished I could hide the truth from him. maybe I should have lied, but lies hurt more than truth, and I don't want to be adding another lie on top of the ones I already said.
What he doesn't know might really hurt him.
I stare out into the black depth of the ocean. It is amazing how easy one's life could be ended. If I walk now towards the black depth and never stop. I would be with Ken very soon, as long as I don't stop.
I'm beginning to regret coming back to Tokyo, not because of the fact that Ken died because of it, not because of the fact that A.Ran is currently with Schuldich, none of that mattered that much. It's the fact that I don't know if I've made the right choice between Ran and Ken, didn't someone tell me choose the one that loves you, not the one you love?
To think, Ken use to be the one I love and Ran was the one who loves me. it is all switched around now, rather, it seems that I love both.
The sight of Schuldich and Ran interrupts my thoughts. I can make out what Schuldich was saying, "I love you". My heart gives a lurch as it reminds me of a time when I said the same words to Ran and I clutch my chest, god it hurts.
Then I spot 5 shadows behind them and I can vaguely make out the shape of Schienend. I scream at them and run towards them. Too late, the shadows come into focus and I can see the youngest member had a pistol on her shoulder.
I rush towards them. Schuldich was holding Ran's katana and slashing people while Ran was protecting him by shooting from a handgun. Soon two of the things faced the fate of Masafumi.
A body. corpse, what ever you call those things rushes towards Schuldich and Ran, Schuldich pushes Ran out of the way and slashes. Where did he learn to wield that sword? He's as good as Ran.
The body falls in pieces, but Schuldich and Ran are separated. The last figure grabs hold of the pistol and aims at Ran.
I don't know what happens, but the next minute I feel about 26 consecutive metals passing into my body. My body contracts up in the intense pain, before the shots stop. The figure slumps to reveal Schuldich standing in a pose that reminds me greatly of Ran.
I fall back, Ran catches me, but I am too heavy and he kneels down with my head in his lap. "You are the worlds most fucking imbecile idiot!" His amethyst burn with anger and hatred.
I try to smile, and sweetness immediately fills up my mouth and as I open them, warmness gushes out and down, all over my chin and cheek. "I know."
My body contracts in pain again, and I moan. Ran's eyes are no longer sparkling, they are somewhat widened, he whispers. "You can't die. no, you are not going to die. I won't allow it!" he suddenly presses his hands on my wounds, I gasp in pain. "I forbid you to die!" he screams.
I lift my arm rather painfully to his face. "Stop it.its ok." he stops, his face suddenly relaxes and tears comes slowly, streaking down from his eyes to my fingers, to my wounds.
"Why? Why! I don't want you to die saving me, I don't want to be in your debt!" the hand around my head clutches my locks, "you stupid, imbecile idiot! Why?"
"I love you Ran." He shuts up. Slowly releases my locks.
"Then you died for nothing."
"Maybe yes." I close my eyes, I feel like screaming, the pain is overwhelming and I can feel that I'm slipping away. "Don't cry, I don't deserve it."
"Bloody right you don't!" His tears are still streaking down nevertheless, "Fucking Kudou!"
I laugh, which triggers more blood gushing from my mouth. "God damn you! Bastard" he screams. "Stop, stop!" He presses on my wounds again. "Stop this bleeding." he glares at Schuldich, who is staring dumbly at me. "Can't you come and help me? Don't stand there and pretend you have nothing to do."
"Ran." I grab his hand: "it's no use, let go." He clutches at my hair again.
"I'm. I'm free Ran. I'm free from love." I want to say more. but I can't breath, I can't hold my head up to see my beautiful amethyst eyed angel, I can't keep my head up.
Pain consumes me once again and my head falls. I can't close my eyelids.. My eyes focus on the moon, the silver winged guardian.
Tokyo Tower, 33 meters tall, 400 tons heavy. Glowing right now in colors of orange, green, yellow red, blue, and a million others. I'm not on top of it; I'm looking across at it. It is the beautiful symbol of Tokyo, a city so bursting with men and men's creations, a city spilling artificial features, a city renowned for it. A city, of which I'm about to leave.
I look down from the bridge I'm standing on the cars are a streaming river of lights underneath me- an artificial river. How easy would it be to just… jump? I look up at the gleaming silver globe above my head, and she looks back with indifference. I smile bitterly, ironical, indifference from something that changes so frequently.
For someone who's about to finally find escape, I am being very literate. Escape… I sigh. There is no other way to escape this prison man call Tokyo, the skyscrapers that resemble bars and the Tokyo Tower like a permanent electronic light that gleams in your eyes…
It's easy to loose track of time and space and reality in here, but I'm tired of all this hiding and deceive and lie. I want out. From this cocoon of lies and from this prison of imagination, I want the truth. I want to escape from this city, from the memories and from the people, from the past…
Freedom… it's only a jump away. After all I've been through I deserve some peace, I deserve freedom, and that's all I deserve.
I climb across the protective fence. This is it, I tell myself as I lean down … and fly.
*******************(Did you really think I had the heart to kill beloved Nagi?)********************
I land on something soft and hear a grunt of pain. When I open my eyes I stare into a pair of honey colored eyes widened in surprise. Jei stares at I, who am currently in his lap, and ask. "Did you just try to jump off that thing?"
Great, just great, life is so good to me it doesn't even allow me to die. What am I supposed to do now?
The idiot, who's currently forgotten that I'm in his arms, continues. "Well, in my opinion it's very stupid of you. I mean I just lost my job today but I'm not prepared to jump off some bridge into cars… I mean…"
"You would if you've just killed somebody and being dumped by your love of life." I snap, rolling onto the passenger seat.
He laughs. "Well, we'd better get you back home." I freeze. Home, do I really want to go back to that literally blood drenched apartment? Am I really ready to face the past?
I laugh suddenly, this is so funny, not only am I not dead I have to be forced to take the truth and swallow it despite its bitterness. I can't stop… my whole body shakes with laughter as tears streak down my face. Damn it, I'm not sentimental, I'm just laughing too hard… damn it all…
Jei is looking at me, concerned. "Are you ok?"
I look at him and laugh here's my guardian angel that's preventing me to die. And only last night he tried to seduce me…ha, this is so funny, this is hysterical… god I can't stop…
He drives off the highway and stops the car. "I'm not going until you calm down."
"Calm?" I choke. "I'm calm, I'm as calm as I could ever be. I killed somebody just hours ago. Somebody whom I loved for 4 years rejected me. I'm a faggot. I was one of Tokyo's most dangerous assassins. I have a curse of telekinesis. I am 17 but look no more than 12. I am surrounded by a city that I hate and despise because it brings out so many memories and nightmares, as if my life isn't one already. And now, when I finally decide to end all this, I can't die."
He stares at me. "I'm sorry."
I laugh, "Why are you sorry? It's not your fault I'm in hell, and it's not your fault that you happen to be the cushion that saved my life but at the same time condemned it to certain hell until I try to commit a suicide again."
He stares at me. "I'll take you home"
We were silent for the rest of the ride. Before I know it, I'm in front of the apartment door and I look at Jei. "Want to come in?" he's startled, but follows me anyway.
We reach our floor and I unlock the door. "It smells bad because of the blood." I explain as I stare at the vivid deep crimson stain on the walls and the carpets, the blood has dried and is cracking. Crawford…
Jei is looking at me. "This isn't right, I remember here, I remember Farfello lived…" as he continues he walks right past the living room and the kitchen, and straight to the dungeons. As he throws open the door, a horrible smell hits our face.
Jei ignored it. He turned on the light and stared at the cell. "Farfello lived here, and someone used him as an animal…"
"No, they didn't." I cut him off.
"Yes you did!" I'm taken a back at the force of the words, "Yes, you, you think I don't remember these days? Wee one?" I shudder as he addresses me with his nickname for me. "Naoe Nagi, Prodigy of Schwartz, aren't you happy to meet your old teammate?"
I back away as he stalks over to me. He grabs my hand and pins me on the wall. Panic strikes and I go frigid with fear.
He continues- his eyes have that insanity he had 2 years ago. "Wee one, you killed Brad didn't you?"
"Well? Aren't you going to throw me off? Aren't you going to kill me as you did to our Oracle?" His grip is so tight I gasp.
Somehow he has a glistering knife in his hand now, and slowly he lifts it up against my neck. I close my eyes, well, I guess I'll die today after all…
There is a tingle as the knife falls, and I'm suddenly released from his grip. I crumble to the ground, holding my knees tight to my chest. My body is trembling all over. Two near death experiences is not very fun, even for an assassin like me.
J… Farfello sits opposite me. "Why did you kill Brad?"
I open my mouth to speak and a thousand things rush back in my head. Schuldich, Fujimiya, Omi, Crawford who tried to rape Fujimiya… the suicide...
I don't know what to say or where to start. I don't think I can even describe or tell anything, so I close my mouth. To my disgust tears well up in my eyes. I blink them off.
Silence follows as he examines me. "Why did you try to die?"
"I have nothing to live for." I said, picking up the knife and toying with it. "Schuldich doesn’t care about me, I broke my vow not to kill and my love of life doesn’t return my feelings…"
"Why did you try to kill yourself?"
"I have nothing to live for."
"That's not a reason."
I look up, startled. He stares back at me, his amber eyes no longer insane. Then I understand that Farfello really is dead, Jei is the one who's beside me right now. He's not the psycho who I have to feed every day, nor an assassin who killed only to hurt something that does not exist. He's Jei- he's a human, a sane human.
"There is always something to live for, Naoe." I'm grateful for the fact that he doesn't refer to me as the wee one. "There's always something which you can turn to when you are… devastated."
I eye him. What could he possibly mean?
He smiles and tugs out a crucifix from his shirt. I stare. "Jesus?"
He nods, "when in doubt, pretend he's in love with you."
I don’t know what to say and I can't say a thing. Here's former-Farfello, who'd do anything to get to god's neck and wring him, holding out a cross and saying that Jesus loves us. Trying to get me to believe in… Christianity…
He holds out a hand, and I get up, dropping the knife. We enter our living room only to see Crawford's wallet on the table. I turn away but he opens it. He then draws out two plane tickets to America. I blink the date is today…
So Crawford was going to leave Japan after all, I thought he'd lag on for good. Too bad, he is truly stuck here for good now…
Jei is looking at me. "Nagi, what if I gave you a reason to live? What if I gave you a new life to which you can indulge yourself in and forget about this mess with Schuldich and Weiss… what if that life is an ocean away from your current one?"
Going to Boston, to Harvard to study... To live with people who don't know my past and don’t judge me by my past… to a whole New World without any of this crap… to America…
I slowly lower Yohji's body from his lap and look up at Ran. / Your ex is a real idiot you know that? /
He doesn't answer. I understand. If I was in this kind of situation, I wouldn't know what to say either. Personally, I don't think there is anything to say. I stare at the bloody mess. Yohji, this is. was his teammate, his lover, someone who lived with him for nearly 3 years.
He's spacing off, staring at Yohji like he's not there. I grab his face and kiss him. Maybe this can make him forget. maybe this can make me forget as well.
He pushes me away / don't./
Out of habit I smirk, but stops as I was asked. Ran looks at Yohji, or what was Yohji. His eyes are wide and blank, his pupils frozen focusing directly at the moon. He's still bleeding and the front of his clothes drenched in blood and so is mine. He squats down beside him and tries to close his eyes.
They refuse to close. Their life-like form is so overwhelming it's impossible to acknowledge that he's dead. I probe Ran's mind to find a jungle of confusion. His panic affects me as well and I touch him to calm him down.
/. He can't be. there is no way he can be dead, he's just. pretending to be. He's playing a prank on me. /
Uh oh, fuck.
Abruptly he grabs Yohji's shoulders and shakes him violently "Get up! Get up you! Get up." Why isn't he getting up? "Kudou stop this game at once! It's not funny! Kudou answer me!"
Oh this is VERY bad. I put my other hand on his shoulder as well. "Ran."
He whips around and stares at me, his green depths passionate. "He's not dead!" He convinces. "He's just trying to trick us. me. he always does that. It's one of his jokes. he's not dead."
I shake his head. "Ran." his mind is so mucked up I has to block him out in order not to let me get tangled in with it.
"He can't be!" He screams and suddenly I am being dragged down- "Look, look at his eyes," he whispers, "he's looking at me, he's smiling. he's trying to trick me. he's not dead! He's holding his breath to scare me." He grabs my shoulders. "Look at him Schuldich, Look at his eyes."
I slap him across the face- maybe this will wake him up. He freezes and I slap him one more time. "Ran. He'd dead!" I tell him.
"No!" He laughs. "You must be kidding right? You're tricking me. you're with him on this. I know- I know your little tricks. And he's not dead, he's not."
"Ran-Kun! Schuldich-Kun!" I look up at see Omi and Aya running towards us. Right after I found Ran I rang them. Omi wasn't so convinced about coming but I insisted.
Aya is staring at Yohji. "Oh my god!" she gasps.
Ran walks over to her. "It's ok, he's not dead, he's trying to trick us. it's one of his pranks."
Aya looks up at him. "You did this." I flinch. Oh shit.
Ran looks at her, still smiling. "No, he's trying to trick us. I'm not in on his trick though, he can't fool me."
Aya fixes her eyes on Ran. "You killed him."
"He's not dead Aya." He puts a hand on her shoulder. Big mistake, she shrinks away like Ran's hand is acid.
"You MONSTER! YOU KILLED HIM!" She suddenly screams. "Don't touch me! NO!" She ducks behind Omi.
"Aya?" Ran is utterly confused, I don't think he remembers that he's in my body. shit.
"Don't touch her Schuldich-Kun." Omi stands defending for Aya. "She's not well. You rang me and I told you she's not well but you insisted."
"Schuldich?" He's not getting this. I desperately want them to stop, but I can't tell the truth. I can't betray Ran. "I'm not Schuldich, I'm Ran!"
"Schuldich!" I stand up, enough of this. I'm going to wake you up once and for all. I turn to Omi and shake my head. "Don't push it Omi. he's kind of out of it."
"No I'm not! And stop calling me Schuldich, Schuldich is not here, he's." He stops, fixing his gaze on me. "Who are you? Why are you like me?"
/ Ran. Ran! / I reach into his mind trying to locate him.
"Who's there?" I can hear the uncertainty out loud.
/ Ran it's me! Schuldich! Ran, come back, remember./
"Who are you?" He looks suspiciously around. "Get out!"
/ Ran! Calm down please, it's me remember? / I probe the memories of us. And I realize what a stupid thing I've done immediately. He suddenly freezes and then screams. Our bond shakes violently and I gasp as well.
I can't give up. I tell myself. I walk over to him and shake his shoulders. /Ran! Look at me. You're ok! Schuldich is here! No one can hurt you. / I try to send calmness through our bond.
Ran stares up into my face, slowly recovering. / Schu. /
I smile and bury my face in his neck, if anybody needs more convincing that they are loved right now, it's Ran. Perhaps I do as well.
I smell trouble when Aya quietly walks over to me. I want to scream 'NO! Don't touch me! Don't come near!' But too late, she grabs Ran by his clothes and wrenches him away from me. "I forbid you to touch my brother!"
Ran looks at Aya and suddenly burst into hysterical laughter. I shudder- he sounds so much like Farfello.
I grab him from Aya. "Aya, mind your own business. Schuldich needs help."
Aya stares at us. Then suddenly screams. "Mind my own business! I've been minding my own business for the past two weeks, months. years! Trying to get out of your way!"
"Aya please." I try to stop her but she's uncontrollable.
"You're manipulated by him! You can't let him take over your life!" She breathes in and fixes her eyes on her real brother. "You evil bastard, do you think you can really break up Weiss?" Before Ran can explain she continues. "Go away, Schuldich, go back to where you came from."
I glare at Omi. "Do something!"
Omi looks directly back. "Not this time, Ran- Kun, I've had enough as well. Besides, she's completely correct!"
Ran suddenly probes my mental shield. / Schuldich! Let me in! /
Out of surprise, I shove him out of my mind. He stumbles physically and stare at Aya, then at Omi, then at the horrible corpse of Yohji who looks so lifelike and finally at me. His eyes have this astonishment and realization. I frown.
He laughs suddenly, a laugh that sounds hysterical and somewhat more like a cry. "You're all leaving me aren't you?" He stares suddenly at the cliff nearby and I get this really shit feeling like.
He's running towards the cliff.
Oh fucking hell.
I run to catch up with him. A sense of desperation washes over me. Ran.
/ Stop you idiot! No one's abandoning you! Ran! /
He doesn't even bother replying. I search in his mind to find. death and jumping into water and death. No hope to live, no fear of dying.
Oh this is not good. Oh this is very, very fucked up. When a person's fear of living overcomes to the fear of dying. Then it's time you get you ass in place and stop him.
/ Ran! Listen to me you idiot! I love you! For god's sake stop! /
He's already at the edge of the cliff. I consider knocking him out but then I realize that if he fall he'll fall off the cliff. And manipulation isn't in question since I bonded with him. Shit!
Right now I have only one wish, and that is to save him, to make sure he stays by my side forever. I can't live without him.... I. I
I freeze in my actions.
No, this is not happening to me... I do not.
I stare at the figure on top of the cliff. "No! RAN! I LOVE YOU!"
He turns back to face me. I gasp in fear when I see that beautiful smile of his. The silver beams the moon casts illuminate the orange hair and green eyes. But that's not what I'm in love with, I'm in love with HIM, his being. his mind. his soul.
No! This is not right! I can't love, I don't have the right to love.and yet. I understood. I loved him for so long- I just refused to confront it. not anymore.
"Ran, please. Come down. I love you, please!"
"Don't waste your breath Schuldich," he grins, a streak of tear falling from his eyes. "I know you don't."
"I do!" I cry out in despair as he stretches his arms sideways. Turning to the sea. He closes his eyes as wind blow the orange cascade into a wild beast.
"I'm flying Schuldich." He says. "I'm finally breaking out of my cocoon of lies. remember? The one I wove around myself. I'll have wings, Schuldich, and I'll fly."
"No! You'll drown! Please Ran, come down!"
I didn't know I could be so desperate, all this time I've lied to him. only to discover I'm hurt more by this than he has.
It's not a lie at all.
/ Ran, give me just one more chance, please, I believe god has really given us mercy this time. /
"If you really love me, I believe your love can save me."
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Ran! Come down! You're not in your right mind! You'll regret this!"
Ran shakes his head slowly. "I'll be free. Don't you see Schuldich? I'll be free." And slowly he leant down.
"NO!" I scream, I grab for his hand, but only caught his sleeve.
"Let go Schuldich. " He tells me. His voice is even and he's still smiling. Suddenly I understand. Let go.
I tip my thoughts out of the shield, I don't need to shield from him... I have nothing to hide.
His gasp of realization and regret is accompanied by the deafening sound of ripping cloth. I scream as he falls down towards the sea.
I'll never forget those green eyes. my eyes.
helplessly towards him, who's still reaching down, still holding the ripped bit
of my sleeve. My mind is screaming that what I am doing is purely a mistake.
// You'll drown!
feel the desperation in Schuldich's head as his thoughts mingle with my own…
// When would
you ever register the fact that I’m NOT fucking Kudou? //
can't die! Schuldich loves me! I can't die!
// I do! I love
you! Please… //
We can't die! If one of us dies the other follows…
But even as I
think I feel the impact of water around me. I can't swim…I struggle… I feel
my lungs fill up with water as I choke… no…
// Kitten, you
have the world's most annoying ex… //
The world fades
before my eyes, whiteness… emptiness…
// Love me too
much to let me go? //
The all for a
sudden I'm kneeling down, staring at the blue depth and the ripples and waves.
My hand is clutching a cloth and reaching down…
am I here? Am I in heaven? I turn back to see Omi and Aya rushing up. Their
faces streaked with tears.
did that to only one other person and that was because I was forced.
Aya hugs me
around my waist and wail. Omi is sobbing as well. "I'm so sorry Ran-Kun! I
never thought he'd… he'd…" he trails off as he turns away.
aren't I supposed to be in Schuldich's body? How…
// You sound
like a jealous girlfriend. //
I draw out my
katana and Aya pulls away in fright. I stare at the reflection. Sure enough,
violet eyes and crimson strands of hair. I'm me again.
I'm back in this body… then where was Schu…?
// You're ok!
Schuldich is here! No one can hurt you. //
Suddenly I rush
to the side of the cliff. In the dark depth bubbles are still forming from my
jump… except I'm not in there… Schuldich is in there…
is DYING in there.
one of us dies, the other is most likely to go insane.
I look down at
the blue depth and feel four hands grabbing my arm. I struggle, no, let me go…
let me be with him, but the hands are so firm. I turn to look at Aya and Omi;
they are pleading silently, their face streaked with tears…
// RAN! I LOVE
There is no way
I can jump now… I can't die leaving them. I love them. And
it also dawns on me that I shall never tell them what happened, I cannot ever
face them the same way I did before being Schuldich. I love them but at the same
time, I feel as if it is something beyond me.
you wrap yourself up in a cocoon of lies, it’s the truth in them that hurts
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