Auld Lang Syne


by nekojita


Finishing with his work for the day, Rufus powered off his computer while his lover, perched on the left side of his desk, sighed yet again in exaggerated impatience. "I don’t care if tonight is a socially-approved occasion to drink yourself into unconsciousness, work still needs to be done," he informed the lazy bastard.

Reno made a disgusted noise as he spun around enough to face Rufus, his long ponytail fanning out for a moment. "You could’ve finished up over an hour ago. Don’t you dare tell me that looking over the new budget for the hundredth time couldn’t have waited." He crossed his arms over his chest, which was covered for once by a pale grey sweater. "There better be some booze left, or you ain’t getting any sex until the *next* New Year’s Eve."

Knowing that he was being provoked and determined not to rise to the bait, Rufus grabbed one of his lover’s black leather-clad legs and dragged the idiot closer. "There are two flaws in your as usual pathetic attempt at logic; the first being that there is no way, not even with the Turks’ infamous tolerance for alcohol, that they could have possibly drunk that much liquid in such a short time. Secondly, you wouldn’t last a month without sex." Hell, Reno would not last past one mission without sex, which was the only reason he was still on active duty.

Snorting again at the last statement, Reno somehow snaked his legs between the chair and Rufus’ back. "I didn’t say anything about *me* not having sex, just you." His teasing grin and bright eyes were giveaways that he expected some sort of passionate response.

Rufus used the long earring dangling in front of him to tug Reno’s head forward, yet did not kiss his lover as the bastard probably anticipated. Instead, he brushed his lips with the slightest of pressure along the Turk’s neck until Reno shivered. "Do you really believe it to be a good idea to start the new year off in a full body cast?" he asked as calmly as possible, and smiled when Reno shivered again and moaned.

"Depends on how I get all broken up." Reno laughed and did some tugging of his own, until Rufus winced at the pull on his hair and finally kissed the bastard.

He would have been perfectly fine remaining where they were, his hands already sliding down Reno’s sides with the intent of removing those tight leather pants when Reno mumbled something and pulled away. "Ah, best save that for Closet Time!" he announced, and Rufus did not think the cryptic nature of the words were due to the lack of oxygen to his brain. He did not have any time to demand an explanation before Reno hopped off the desk, grabbed his right wrist and began to lead him toward the door. "Let’s go!"

Even though Tseng had insisted that the invitation was genuine and not offered out of obligation, Rufus was still uncertain on whether or not it was a good idea to attend one of the Turks’ infamous New Year’s Eve parties. Over the years, he had heard so many rumors about the events, and even more complaints from his father and Heidegger, that they had reached a sort of ‘cult-like’ status in his mind. He would not be half-surprised if someone was sacrificed before the night was through, though there was no possible way it would be a virgin considering the Turks’ promiscuous reputations. Despite his misgivings and initial plans on a quiet celebration at home with Reno, he was too curious to not stop by for a short while, at the least.

As always, the Turks held the party at ShinRa headquarters – partly because with so much of the covert organization gathered at the same place with most of them intoxicated out of their minds that it could be a potentially nasty security breach, and partly because no other place would host the party. Some of the past antics that had slipped out despite the Turks’ impressive code of silence about the yearly events were the stuff of legend. "So, was it you who managed to fill the sheath of Sephiroth’s sword with peanut butter?" Rufus asked, already convinced of the answer since the prank’s suicidal and inane nature seemed perfect for Reno. The only question that remained was how Reno was still alive….

Reno laughed and shook his head as they got out of the elevator. "Nah, though I did help by standing guard back then. Wasn’t good enough at the time to pull *that* one off."

Rufus found himself intrigued by the response; Reno had risen through the Turk ranks very quickly, leaving few people who would have been better than him at any point in his career. He went through the short list of possible names and found himself staring with awe at Tseng when the Head of Turks greeted them at the door to the ballroom. "We were worried that you were dead, Reno," Tseng said in a completely deadpan manner.

"Hmph, it was getting close - if the boss hadn’t shut down his computer when he had, it would have gone through the fucking window… with me after it." Reno laughed again and winked at Tseng, only slowing down for a few seconds to exchange words with his coworker. He seemed very intent on reaching one of the few empty tables left in the huge room.

Barely having the chance to nod in greeting to Tseng, Rufus waited until they got to the table to grab hold of Reno’s sweater and pull him in close. "Are you saying that *Tseng*-"

Reno cut him off with a quick kiss before he could finish voicing his suspicions, and chuckled when he shifted back a little. "Now, the rules are to never name names… but think about it the next time you get all shitty about me obeying an order of Tseng’s over one of yours." He shoved Rufus into a chair and wandered off with a lazy wave of his left hand. "Be right back with some drinks."

Watching his lover saunter away the same time that a young woman in a server’s uniform approached the table, Rufus did his best to stifle a smile while shaking his head and motioning her aside. Damn, but he hated it when Reno had a point. Anyone who could pull such a prank the great General – who *detested* peanut butter – and remain not only alive but unharmed as well did require careful handling. He wondered what other pranks Tseng had managed to pull off over the years, and decided that a few interesting bets would be just the thing the new year required to be interesting.

He was pleased to see that his employees were clearly enjoying the party and nodded at the various raised glasses held up in his direction as he glanced around. Reno had explained to him that almost all of the Turks would be here tonight, though some of them, either by personal choice or a lottery of sorts, would remain sober in case of any emergencies. He had seen the list of ‘active’ Turks and been surprised by some of the names, until finding out that most of those who chose to forego behaving like drunken idiots would mostly likely have tapped into the building’s security system and look forward to blackmailing their fellow employees in the upcoming weeks. That seemed to be a matter of pride for the organization, one encouraged by Veld and then Tseng because it kept everyone on their toes. Rufus supposed that made sense; if the Turks were willing to blackmail each other, then they would have no qualms whatsoever doing it to anyone else.

Rude and Kali were clearly not on that list, which might explain why Kali greeted Reno by squeezing his ass and then laughing when he grabbed her breasts in return. Reno then stood on his tiptoes to whisper something in Rude’s right ear which made his normally stoic partner laugh and give him a light slap to the side of his head. The three of them chatted while the harried bartender poured two drinks, which Reno picked up before sauntering off again. Rufus lost him in the crowd, and spent a few minutes observing the people he trusted the most with his life act like a bunch of drunken idiots. Some of their antics startled a few chuckles from him, such as smiling Tseng dancing with a very pleased-looking Elena on the dance floor, and several female Turks showing Cyril’s diminutive girlfriend, Midori, a few fighting moves on a clearly inebriated Tosh.

Reno suddenly re-appeared and dropped onto Rufus’ lap without spilling a drop of the drinks in either hand. "Here ya go, a bit of whiskey to start the night off right!" He clinked his glass against the one that Rufus had just grasped before downing its contents in a few swallows. Considering that the glasses held what had to be at least two shots worth of whiskey, Rufus consumed his at a much more sedate pace.

"What were you up to, other than groping Rude’s girlfriend?"

Reno shrugged as he put the empty glass on the table behind him. "Eh, she started it." He licked his lips in a suggestive manner while staring directly at Rufus. "Let’s see, got the drinks, bitched about how Rude was clearly not gonna go for a new record tonight and said ‘hi’ to a few people." Then he grinned, the expression so indecent that Rufus decided it might be in his best interest to get as drunk as soon as possible. "And got us a pretty good slot in The Closet." He pulled out his cell phone and made a show of setting something up on its alarm feature. "We got about an hour ta kill. Had to pull some strings ta get that early ova slot, but hey, it pays ta fuck tha boss!"

"I don’t think I’m drunk enough for the explanation," Rufus complained before waving a server over to the table and motioning that he wanted two more drinks. "Yet I’ll ask – what is ‘the closet’ you keep babbling about?" It better not be a way to get any incriminating video of *him*.

Wiggling a bit in Rufus’ lap, Reno put his phone away then leaned forward to lick at the lobe of Rufus’ right ear. "’Closet Time’ is a long-standing Turk tradition. Usually, it’s a chance ta fool around with someone ya’ve had an eye on all year. No expectations an’ what happens in there stays in there, unless ya really hit it off or something. Or just an excuse ta have some fun an’ not get stuck coverin’ someone’s shift for the next month." He paused in the explanation to lick Rufus’ ear again. "It’s best ta get in there early an’ avoid the mess."

Rufus had a newfound respect for ShinRa’s janitorial staff as well as a piqued interest in this particular tradition. "No video or sound recording at all?" he asked, well aware that if anyone would be blackmailing him, it was the sneaky bastard currently seated on his lap.

"None at all." Reno pulled back from Rufus, at first to glare at the question and then to accept a new drink from the blushing server. "I’m sensing a lack o’ trust here." His gutter-rat accent kept coming and going, which was part of the reason why Rufus ordered another round while accepting his drink, along with a tray of snacks.

"There’s not enough alcohol in the world to make me believe that you don’t have some sort of ulterior motive," Rufus shot back, and was surprised when Reno laughed, all signs of his bad mood gone.

"This time, my motive is sex. Now *that* should be something you can trust." Once again, Reno finished off his drink in one go. He smacked his lips a couple of times and leaned forward. "I can always invite someone else if you’re not in the mood."

Rufus allowed himself to react as intended to the taunt, the alcohol already buzzing through his veins as well as burgeoning lust. Perhaps he should have had something for lunch after all… ah well, he would just count tonight as going along with the spirit of things, he thought as he yanked Reno even closer for an almost savage kiss. Surely the Turks would consider anything related to him as off-limits, or risk never having another party like this again.

Between the alcohol, Reno squirming in his lap and the passionate kiss, he was almost tempted to search out the ‘closet’ early, but was snapped back to his senses when he felt someone’s hand rest on his left shoulder for a few seconds. He broke off the kiss to find a smiling Tseng and an even happier-looking Elena joining them at the table.

"… are you drunk?" Rufus asked Tseng as he noticed the man’s flushed cheeks and almost goofy smile.

"Not quite yet." Tseng raised his glass of some clear liquid in a toast. "I’m pacing myself until midnight."

Reno got up from Rufus’ lap and sat in the chair next to him, his eyes glowing faintly and lips swollen from the kiss. "Not like anyone’s gonna play any tricks on ya." He smiled a little too friendly at the server who dropped off their drinks and a large platter of appetizers, almost making her spill the whiskey.

"I prefer to err on the side of caution with all the new recruits." Tseng stared with what looked to be disappointment at the crowd of Turks, led by Becca, who were currently stripping a rookie of his clothes. The poor idiot appeared to be on the verge of passing out, and would no doubt wake up in a situation that would teach him to be much more aware of his tolerance level in the future. "They tend to be… overeager and not think things through."

"Which is the only reason the rest of us put up with them." Reno tossed back his drink in a manner that made Rufus wonder if his lover knew his limits as well, and decided that he must be getting tipsy to have such a ridiculous thought. "Since you won’t let us use them for target practice."

"You were a rookie once, you know!" Elena snapped while pointing her finger more or less in Reno’s direction. "Show a bit more sympathy for them!"

Reno paused in stuffing several appetizers in his face to scoff at her declaration. "And I survived the same shit they’re gettin’! Don’t see you out there tryin’ to stop the fun." The two Turks glared at each other for several seconds before Elena broke the tension by laughing.

She motioned toward another rookie, this one in the process of being somehow attached to the room’s fifteen foot high ceiling with what looked to be the metal rods that some of the appetizers had been served on. "I’m not stupid! Would just end up in their place." She sniffed in disdain and began to fuss with the cuffs of the pale gold silk shirt she was wearing.

"I don’t know if I should be appalled right nor or give them a raise for their ingenuity," Rufus remarked as he looked at all the various mayhem his employees were currently engaged in. He was beginning to understand Reno’s concern about the drink supply running out and was amazed that there were never any reported cases of alcohol poisoning that he knew of after the yearly event.

Tseng’s smile took on a disturbing edge as he used his cell phone to snap pictures of the more inventive forms of what basically amounted to torture going on in the room. "Veld always wrote these parties off in the past as part of our department’s research and development budget."

Humming quietly to himself, Reno pulled out a cigarette from somewhere and lit it. "Lot of shit here comes in handy. Sara taught me some sweet tricks with toothpicks one year."

In the process of pulling a bacon-wrapped shrimp free of its toothpick, Elena wrinkled her nose for a couple of seconds then tossed the piece of wood aside. "Please, I’m just getting over the memories of what you did to that guy." Rufus noticed that she was not disturbed enough by the recollection to stop eating more shrimp.

Reno blew a cloud of smoke toward the ceiling. "It’s a New Year’s Eve party – everyone’s getting fucked one way or the other. That’s the point of the whole thing."

"It just seems a shame to almost do each other in after everything you’ve survived in the past year," Rufus remarked, the mostly empty whiskey glass held between his palms as he twisted it about to watch the remaining amber drops swirl around.

All three Turks laughed at his comment, which he did not think was particularly amusing. He stopped staring at the glass to look at them, waiting to see which one would explain their reaction.

Tseng bowed his head and motioned with his right hand at his drunken and pretty much debauched employees. "That’s just it, we’re still here. None of us have any delusions that the upcoming year will be any better, so why not show it that we are more than ready to face whatever it brings and enjoy ourselves at the same time?"

Rufus stared at the man who had helped raised him and done whatever was in his power to see him become President and remain in that position. "For once admit that you test any potential recruit for an insanely high level of masochism." He knew that Reno could get off on pain, and from what he was seeing tonight, so did most of the Turks.

Tseng’s smile took on a mysterious edge. "All I’ll say is that we only recruit the best."

"Then explain Reno." Elena was a little too drunk to successfully mutter under her breath, but Reno merely laughed at the insult.

"He didn’t say what we’re the best at, ‘Lena." When she finally stopped blushing and looked in his direction, Reno stuck out his tongue.

"All right, I’ll give you that, you girly bastard."

"Just pissed off that I can fill a bra out better than you?"

Thankfully, Tseng grabbed Elena and dragged her out to the dance floor before a fight could break out. Reno appeared rather smug at getting the last word in, and resumed his position on Rufus’ lap. "Eh, so havin’ a good time so far or what?"

"Speak normally, dammit," Rufus hissed as he yanked on his lover’s long hair, which was pulled back into a mostly tangle-free ponytail. "And please tell me that they’ll stop picking on the new recruits soon, or else none of them will make it to the new year." Almost all of them were passed out by now and having very interesting things inflicted upon them – he sighed as he anticipated the budget for the psychology department taking a huge hit starting tomorrow.

Reno glanced around the room then shook his head. "Nah, this is just everyone getting warmed up. Most of the real trauma will occur around midnight." He chuckled again, the sound more evil than seductive. "I bet that Kali will kick at least seven asses tonight when people try to kiss Rude around then."

Having a better understanding of Dr. Alim’s budget concerns the past week, Rufus was about to ask why the Turks were so determined to kill or maim each other tonight and was prevented from doing so by a ringing sound. Reno let out a yelp of excitement as he jumped off of Rufus’ lap, then dragged him out of his seat and away from the table. "Closet Time!"

"Ah yes, that." Rufus was proud of how calm he sounded despite the prospect of imminent sex and what had to be at least six shots of whiskey. The Turks still on their feet parted way before him and Reno, and Dominic gave him a wink as he pressed a packet of lubricant into his hand. They reached what looked to be a supply closet door, which Reno pounded on several times hard enough to rattle it on its hinges.

"Oi! Time’s up!" Reno stepped away from the door, and about five seconds later it opened to let out a very disheveled but happy Deirdre and a stunned-looking Ling.

"Impatient bastard," the female Turk snarled, her angry tone ruined by the huge smile on her face. "Some of us take longer than five minutes to get off!"

"Yeah, well, take it up with the boss. He does a thorough job of everything!" Reno laughed as he pulled Rufus into the now vacant closet.

Not certain if he should yell at his lover for that comment, Rufus had no time to come to a decision as he ended up slammed against the wall and kissed breathless by Reno. His dazed confusion only lasted a few seconds, and then it was Reno’s turn to be pressed against the wall.

The closet smelled of sex and alcohol, and the dim light-bulb still left on revealed that the shelves had been emptied of various cleaning supplies in favor of an assortment of condom boxes in a variety of flavors and sizes, as well as several sex toys and handcuffs. There were several small garbage cans on the floor, which Rufus was careful to look away from as he held up the packet of lube that he had been given. "Do we even need this?" he asked, aware of how Reno would sometimes anticipate the night’s event.

"We do if you want to have sex!" Reno pulled Rufus in for another kiss, all the while working on removing the many layers of white and black clothes.

Pleased that his lover had not been entirely certain about how the night would proceed, Rufus let Reno remove most of his clothes before breaking off the kiss so he could return the favor. "How much time do we have?"

"Eh, nowhere near as long as I’d like. It’s quickie time." Reno grinned as he helped Rufus push the tight leather pants down to his knees, not having bothered with underwear. Then he turned around, pale skin glowing in the dim light and hair starting to stick to his back from the hot, stale air of the closet.

Bereft of his coats and shirts, Rufus stepped out of his pants and boxers, mindful of the many people gathered outside. He pressed against Reno’s back for a moment, reveling in his lover’s heat as he nuzzled aside the platinum earring to place a kiss against the side of Reno’s neck. "’Hard and fast’ was not what I had planned for tonight." He figured that New Year’s Eve deserved something a bit more ‘hopeful’ for the upcoming year, especially since this was the first one he got to share with Reno.

"It ain’t midnight for a few hours," Reno replied, voice husky with desire and eyes glowing bright enough to help light up the tiny room. "Better get started or we’ll be kicked out before we’ve had our ‘fun’."

"Impatient as always." Rufus tore open the packet and poured the warm, slick liquid onto his fingers. He wasted no time in preparing his lover, despite his best intentions caught up in the situation. How many years had he heard whispers about these nights, of what the Turks would do to each other and how people outside of the organization wished they could attend the parties? Here he was, surrounded by Turks and about to fuck one of them, so far removed from the boring, mindless parties he had attended in the past, a glass of champagne clutched in one hand and a fake smile plastered on his face. Now he had Reno pressed against his chest and moaning in pleasure, felt light-headed from the alcohol, heat and desire.

Reno hissed in impatience after a couple of minutes. "Come on and fuck me! Don’t wait ‘til midnight."

"Nice to see that some things never change even if the year does," Rufus remarked with a smile, followed by a kiss to Reno’s right shoulder. He was not in the mood to wait any longer, either, and used the last of the lube to slick up his cock before he positioned it and thrust into his lover in one smooth motion. "Oh… hell."

Despite the poorly ventilated closet and the heat that caused sweat to drip from his body, he wanted the moment just then to last forever. Reno’s body gripped his cock so tightly, it was as if all the times that they had sex had never happened. Yet that delusion was belied by the way that they so easily matched each other’s pace, how he knew just how much force to use to make Reno brace himself against the wall with his elbows yet leave enough space so he could fist his lover’s hard cock. No matter how much alcohol and how little time, they knew just how to please each other, to wring as much pleasure as possible from the frenzied fuck.

Reno cried out his name several times, loud enough to drown out the music playing outside of the closet and the crowd of people talking, growing more vocal each time Rufus hit just the right spot. A bit of a voyeur, Rufus found the thought of people gathered just a few feet away almost as erotic as his lover, driving him to thrust harder and deeper each time. There was little doubt that Reno would bear bruises from this encounter, yet the Turk only urged him on even faster, body tightening as he neared orgasm.

Tongue tingling from licking at the sweat on Reno’s skin, Rufus struggled to breathe the same time his hips snapped back and forth in a relentless pace, almost at the edge himself. Reno’s sudden shove backwards and desperate inhalation was the only warning Rufus received before exquisite pleasure fired along his nerves as Reno’s body tightened even more around his cock. He came immediately after his lover, gasping for air as well as he shuddered in ecstasy.

As ‘quickies’ went, that had to be one of the best of the whole damn year, and he was given little time to savor it before Reno’s cell phone beeped.

"Oh… hell. Two minutes," Reno managed to croak, his voice hoarse as if his throat was bone dry. Rufus had trouble swallowing himself, as well as pulling his clothes back on in the limited time. While Reno struggled with his leather pants, Rufus managed to get dressed in his pants and two of his shirts, the rest of the outfit draped over his left arm.

Reno had just zipped up his pants when someone pounded on the door; considering the way it had creaked from the abuse, Rufus was not surprised to discover that it was Rude and Kali awaiting their turn. For once, Reno was silent, only managing a weak chuckle and a wicked grin for his partner as Rufus took control and steered his lover out of the tiny and stifling room.

"Where we goin’?" Reno managed to ask as they stumbled past their table, Tseng and Elena nowhere in sight. Considering what he could see, Rufus was rather grateful of that fact, as he was already seeing too much of certain Turks as it were. They seemed to have moved past the ‘torture’ phase of the night into pure debauchery.

He only paused long enough by the bar to snag a bottle of whiskey. "As I said, that was a bit more rushed than I had planned for the night. We’ll finish up in my office." He glanced over his shoulder to see how his lover would take leaving the party, and smiled at the huge grin on Reno’s face.

"Eh, hellova lot more roomy than tha closet!" Reno laughed as he was led out of the room.


Rufus woke to the new year with its first day well under way, if the amount of sunlight that flooded his office was any indication. Body and head a bit sore, he shifted on the couch, grateful that Reno had thrown down a blanket for them to lay on instead of the pristine leather. Warmed by his lover’s body practically plastered against his chest, Rufus made a mental note to himself get a bigger couch by the next New Year’s Eve. Unwilling to face what were no doubt a long list of damages from Maintenance and complaints from Dr. Alim about the Turks down in Medical, he closed his eyes and went back to sleep.


Bit of an omake here….

Sephiroth: *glares at everything and nothing as he cleans peanut butter off of his beloved sword* I still think I should be allowed to torture the Turks until one of them admits to doing this.

Angeal: *thinks twice about giving Sephiroth a reassuring pat on the shoulder* You must admit, it would be a waste of good resources if you did so, and the next batch might even be worse. *keeps comment on the Turks proving their obvious skills with this latest prank to himself*

Zack: Yeah, and at least they didn’t use crunchy peanut butter. *swipes a fingerful of peanut butter from the blade* Hmm, anyone else getting hungry now? *has to be pulled back to safety by Angeal*

Genesis: *sitting across the room reading* I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of this. They do these pointless pranks every New Year’s Eve.

Sephiroth: *decides to glare at Genesis for that comment* I’d like to see you be so nonchalant if it were your sword.

Angeal: *eyes narrow in suspicion* Come to think about it, you haven’t had a prank inflicted upon you in quite some time.

Genesis: *smiles a rather smug and enigmatic smile* Let’s just say after they pasted porn through all my copies of ‘Loveless’, I bugged a closet one year. *laughs evilly and seductively while the other three SOLDIERs try to figure out what the hell that means*

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