How Reno Learns to Pay More Attention to Things

*******

by nekojita

*******

Reno searched through the freezer for a bottle of orange-flavored vodka that he could have sworn he’d put in the damn thing just the other day. He shifted aside several stacks of frozen meals for the third time, unwilling to give up the search until he found his liquor. He’d finished off the last of the beer in the fridge and really needed something stronger since he swore he could still feel that sickening dropping sensation in the pit of his stomach.

He’d just gotten on his knees to check the lower shelves when Rufus entered the kitchen, and one sight of his lover’s furious expression and the bright gleam in blue eyes made him stick his head back in the freezer. Frostbite was a hell of a lot more preferable to a pissed off Rufus Shinra.

"What the hell are you doing?" Rufus asked, giving Reno a not so gentle poke in the ass with the toe of his shoe.

"Looking for some vodka." Reno pulled out enough to give his lover a warning glare. "What the hell is your problem? Company not make enough of a profit this last quarter or what?"

Rufus’ eyes flashed a little brighter at that jab, but his tightly pressed lips soon twitched at the corners. "You first. I’ll tell you about my day if you explain why you’re busy crawling inside the freezer."

"Because Tseng had the bright idea of me teaching a few of the new rookies how to fly a fucking helicopter." Just thinking about how he’d spent his shift made Reno smack his fist into a bag of frozen corn. "My life flashed before my eyes with each of them, but one genius actually stalled the motor in mid-flight." He’d barely been able to get the rotors going in time to save them all, and felt that he deserved to spend the rest of the night completely drunk.

Rufus, ever the bastard, had the audacity to laugh upon hearing about his day. Reno threw the bag of corn at his lover, only to have it caught and thrown back at him. "My day got ruined when I read the daily newspaper." He stared intently at Reno as if expecting that to be enough of an answer.

Reno shrugged and resumed his quest, actually tasting the vodka, he wanted it that much. "So? You know I don’t bother with the news; it’s just a bunch of lies anyway." He should know, too, considering all the shit he did on a weekly basis. The news rarely reported what really happened around here, and when they did, they put some sort of spin on the story.

"There was a very… interesting article on the Shinra family dynasty and lots of bemoaning over the fact that there is currently no heir. It was almost amusing, the list of suitable ‘brides’ that they suggested would make a very good ‘Mrs. Shinra’." Rufus’ voice was thick with disdain, and all Reno cared about was that it wasn’t directed at him for once.

"Did they mention me at all?" he asked, not really curious but trying to figure out just how angry his lover was over the article. Was the news so boring around here that they had to print shit like that? Why didn’t they go stalk Strife for a while or something….

"No."

Reno shrugged again and threw another bag of corn, this time over his shoulder as he tried to clear out a shelf. Was that a bit of frosted glass behind the ice packs? "Thought you preferred for them not to bring me up." He paused in his search for a moment to smile and recall how much fun Rude had shaking up a few ‘social’ reporters to make them leave out any reference of him dating Rufus.

"I do on the whole. However, it’s very annoying to be treated as if I’m the world’s most eligible bachelor and am just waiting to meet the right woman. I had enough of that when my father was alive." As always, Rufus’ tone took on a nasty edge whenever he mentioned ‘daddy dearest’.

"Huh." That *was* glass, Reno thought with growing excitement and relief. "So tell ‘em you’re not ‘eligible’ anymore." He crawled a little more into the freezer and cursed the bottle of vodka for somehow managing to get pushed all the way to the fucking back of the damn shelf. "You’re now officially ‘off the market’ or whatever the hell that saying is."

Rufus said something else just then, Reno making out ‘proposal’ and ‘you sure?’ over the crinkling of frost as he dislodged the bottle from where it had become stuck to the metal shelf. Damn, the cleaners better defrost the freezer soon. Pulling the bottle free, he realized that it wasn’t the orange-flavored vodka he’d been looking for, but cinnamon schnapps. Oh well, alcohol was alcohol, he thought as he crawled his way back out of the freezer.

"Reno?"

Too busy cracking open the seal of the bottle, Reno flashed Rufus a grin. "Yes." He figured he had a fifty-fifty chance with an answer like that, and for once things worked out since Rufus gave him a very pleased smile.

"Do you have any idea what you just agreed to?" Rufus asked.

"Uhm, to help get the news off your back?" Why oh why was the man asking him stuff like this when all he wanted was to get drunk, Reno wondered, wishing that Rufus had come home a half an hour later than he’d done.

Rufus’ smile took on a cruel edge. "So I can take whatever steps I deem necessary?" Reno nodded in response since he figured that his lover would do it that way regardless of what he agreed to or not.

"Good. I’ll get to work on it right away," Rufus said, seeming in a much better mood than he’d been in a couple of minutes ago. Reno was distracted from the schnapps by his lover pulling him to his feet and giving him a kiss that made him think that maybe he didn’t need to spend the night drinking before moving away. Watching him go, Reno pondered on what the hell that was about before his fingers protesting being wrapped tightly around something cold and hard penetrated his lust-fuddled mind.

Okay, so Rufus was in an oddly happy mood and he’d finally gotten some alcohol, the day was suddenly looking better. Heading to the couch, Reno figured he’d drink about half of the schnapps and give Rufus time to do whatever he was ‘working in right away’ before going to see if his lover was in the mood for some fun. Maybe if he gave Rufus a good enough blowjob, he’d get permission to zap Tseng the next time that sadistic bastard ordered him to train the rookies.

*******

For some damn reason, Rude was being a real fidgety bastard today. Reno gave his partner a warning look before closing his eyes and resting his head against the door to Rufus’ office. Feeling as if his brain was about to explode from the pain at any moment, he made a quiet mental note to himself to never mix schnapps and champagne together again. What had gotten into Rufus last night to open a few bottles of the stuff, he had no clue, but he swore that he’d throw up if forced to drink the bubbly stuff ever again. No, he’d stick to tequila from now on.

At least he’d been assigned to guard duty today, able to just slump against the door for the shift. He’d skipped his lunch break and spent the hour curled up on Rufus’ couch instead, his lover in an almost worrisome generous mood. Rufus had sent him back out here when his break was over, and Rude had been in an odd mood ever since.

The secretary got up from her desk and left the room, a huge stack of paperwork in her hand, and Reno was distracted from watching her leave by a not so gentle squeeze to his right shoulder.


"When were you going to tell me about it?" Rude asked, sounding so angry that Reno tried to force his aching brain into gear and figure out what the hell he’d done now.

"Uhm, tell you what?" he asked while mentally going through all the pranks he’d played in the last few weeks. Rude should already know about all of them, except for the ‘anonymous’ post on the message board about Elena had trouble walking or sitting down last Tuesday; Rude had ordered him to not say anything about any pranks played on Elena or Tseng for fear of catching hell along with Reno.

"About you and Rufus," Rude spat out while turning to face Reno. "I didn’t hear about it until it was announced on the news."

The last word helped to clue Reno in and he groaned in response. "Oh, that. Sorry." He gave his best friend a sheepish grin. "Didn’t think Rufus would move so fast, okay?" Rufus must be pretty annoyed at those stupid gossip articles if he’d arranged for something already.

Rude’s anger seemed to fade away somewhat, replaced by a growing confusion. "You actually agreed to it? I thought that you didn’t even want the news to mention you, let alone take such an important step."

Reno shrugged and rubbed his temples, not really getting why Rude cared if people knew that he and Rufus weren’t screwing around with anyone else. "You could say it was my idea." The press had already figured out that he was living with Rufus, so as long as they kept their promise to stop following him around, he wasn’t bothered at all if Rufus made some sort of official statement about their relationship. Maybe it would make the man a bit less paranoid whenever Reno went out drinking with his friends.

"Reno… you…." Rude gave up on whatever it was that he was attempting to say and just shook his head. After a minute, he gave it another try. "I hope you know what you’re doing and that you’re happy with him."

"Eh, I’ll settle for us not killing each other, and not having a clue what’s going on isn’t a new thing for me." Reno mustered a smile for his friend. "Why start now?"

That comment made Rude shake his head again. "You’re nuts."

"What else is new?" He winced when his head throbbed in pain and wished that the shift was over already. "Look, can we drop the subject? Talking about it isn’t gonna change anything, and Rufus is handling it anyway." So it wasn’t like he could change things if he wanted, not when Rufus was already in high gear.

Rude gave him a serious, assessing look and reluctantly nodded. "Okay. I just hope that things work out all right."

Reno wanted to ask why wouldn’t it, but figured it would be asking for things to go wrong. Instead, he closed his eyes and rested his head back against the door.

*******

Reno was on his sixth shot of the night, snuggled all comfortable in the corner of Rude’s very nice sofa when the program that Kali, Elena and Pamela had *insisted* on watching finally came to an end. Happy to no longer have a bunch of prissy looking doctors and their fucked up relationships with each other inflicted upon him, his good mood came to a quick end when the news came on. Groaning out loud at the prospect of having to listen to some too-perky assholes tell him a bunch of shit he couldn’t care less about, he fumbled for the remote.

"In the latest news, the ‘Equal Rights Marriage’ law was ratified today. Thanks in part to the support of Rufus Shinra, now it is legal for everyone to marry, regardless-"

"Turn the fucking news off," Reno snarled as he snatched the remote from Pamela and hit the ‘off’ button. "I don’t give a damn about any laws, new pandas born at the fucking zoo or how eating fast food rots your guts." All he wanted to do was drink, make fun of Rod and see how many times Kali groped Rude tonight.

His partner gave him an odd look while everyone else in the room went quiet. "Guess Rufus already told you about the law passing then," Rude said, his voice sounding a bit strained.

Reno had no clue what Rude was talking about, but all he did was nod and reach for the bottle of tequila for another shot. He assumed that his lover was messing around with things again, trying to kiss up to the public and get something on the books that he could twist to his advantage later. Maybe Reeve wanted to marry that damn cat of his or something….

Rod made a big production of clearing his throat. "So, you do realize it calls for one hell of a party, don’t you?"

"Yeah, whatever." Grimacing slightly at the taste of salt, Reno tossed back the shot and quickly sucked on a lime wedge. Some people just had to use any excuse for a party, didn’t they? Not that he really minded when it meant free drinks – or *better* mean free drinks. "I’m not paying for any rounds that night."

For once, Rod actually looked offended at the suggestion that someone else pay for part of the bar tab. "Hell no, you won’t. We’ll see to everything." He raised the beer bottle in his right hand to the air. "Here’s to Reno and Rufus."

Everyone else raised their drinks as well, even Pamela as she pouted and mumbled something about things ‘not being fair’. Reno decided that his friends must be having more drinks than he was and that he obviously needed to catch up. He poured himself another shot and raised it in the air, frowning slightly at the incredulous look Rude sent his way.

As if to prove that they were indeed drunk, Kali, Elena and Pamela started talking about wedding plans while Rod and Cyril argued over strippers. Rude sat in his chair with that strange look on his face, and Reno was left wondering if Kali was pressuring his best friend into another commitment. Oh well, better Rude than him, he thought as he tossed back the shot.

*******

"Fuss with my hair one more time and I’ll bite your fucking hand," Reno snarled at his lover. Rufus being Rufus, the bastard ignored the threat and tucked back a strand of hair falling onto Reno’s forehead.

"Let’s hope it stays in place for two minutes," Rufus muttered and then turned his attention to making sure that the lapels of Reno’s black coat lay smooth over his shoulders. Unhappy about being dragged into Rufus’ office and forced to wear a perfectly pressed Turks’ uniform – complete with a fucking *tie* of all things, Reno smacked his lover’s hand aside.


"Tell me why the hell I’m doing this." ‘This’ was actually wearing the suit in a manner that would make Tseng wipe a tear of pride from the corner of his eye and Reno allowing his hair to be combed and neatly pulled back.

"Because it’s better than checking the sewer system around Reactor Three for any security breaches," Rufus replied, the pleased, slightly cruel smile on his face a warning that he better get his way or else. Reno warily eyed first his lover then the stranger across the room who was busy setting up a tripod for her camera.

"I thought you told the press not to take or print any pictures of me," he said with growing suspicion, trying to figure out just what the hell Rufus was up to now. His lover had been busier than normal in the past month, what with passing laws and making arrangements for some sort of fancy party. Every time Reno asked what was going on, he was given an evasive answer and a smug smile, up to the point that he was tired of wasting his breath with any more questions. Rufus always had some grand scheme or another going on, and he guessed this was the latest one since all the Reactors were up and running and ShinRa back in the black.

Rufus looked him over from head to toe and then motioned for him to move closer to the camera. "Every now and then, I have to throw the press a bone. By allowing them this photo, they’ve promised to leave us alone." When Reno gave him a disbelieving look, his lover merely smiled in response. "Remember, you promised to help me get them off my back."

Not understanding what the hell a photograph of the two of them together had to do with the press no longer bitching about Rufus’ love life, Reno rolled his eyes and did his best to not rip the tie from his neck. Loosening it a little instead, he sighed and stepped forward. "Well, let’s get this over with, then." Anything had to be better than mucking around in a damn sewer.

*******

Rude leaned against the locker beside Reno’s, dressed in tight jeans and sweater. "Will you be joining us at the bar tonight?" There was a frown on Rude’s face as if he already knew the answer to the question. Considering the fact that Reno hadn’t been able to go drinking with his friends for the last few weeks, Rude more than likely did.

"Nah. That damn photo’s supposed to be in the papers today so Rufus wants me home." Reno shuddered at the memory of being choked by a damn tie and the photographer *cooing* at him to look happy. She’d barely gotten out of the office with her own life, let alone without that damn camera shoved up her ass, especially after she told Rufus that he needed to look more ‘romantic’. "Sorry to say that I’m bailing on you guys for a lobster dinner, a massage and a couple of hours of sex." He gave Rude a wicked grin and made a big production of pulling a plain white bag out of his locker. "I even stocked up on lube and massage oil for the night."

Rude was quiet for a moment, which wasn’t that odd for the man. "I guess with the big day right around the corner, he wants you to keep you close by."

Tired of hearing about the ‘big day’, Reno groaned and slammed his locker shut. "I can’t wait until the damn thing’s over, ya know? I’ve spent the past month going around to all these prissy stores with Rufus and making sure that some saleslady doesn’t grope his ass to death while he picks out china patterns." He was bored to hell with the stupid guard duty assignment, and only the fact that Rude was often stuck training the new rookies or assisting other Turks on some rather unpleasant missions kept Reno from bitching too much to Rufus or Tseng. Then Rufus kept coming up with reasons for Reno to stick close to home when he was off duty; if the sex wasn’t so damn good he’d tell his lover to fuck off and go out drinking with his friends. Whatever the reason for the huge party being planned, it had Rufus in a happy mood and Reno was all for maintaining that for as long as he could.

"Just as long as you know that you can change your mind at any time, Reno." Rude slid his sunglasses down his nose to give Reno a serious look. "Don’t let yourself be pushed into anything, all right?"

About to ask his friend what the hell was a big deal about a lobster dinner and sex, Reno’s cell phone went off and distracted him. Waving goodbye to Rude, he flipped it open and bitched at his lover. "Dammit, I’m on my way home now, you fucking dictator. Give me another twenty minutes, and the lobsters better be ready when I get there."

*******

Sitting on the edge of Rufus’ desk, Reno moaned when his lover pulled away, leaving him in favor of the bar in the corner of the room. Feeling pretty damn good from what had to be the best fuck he’d had all week, he combed his fingers through his hair and tried to figure out where the hell his clothes had gone off to. Rufus had practically pounced on him as soon as he’d walked through the office door, and everything after that was a pleasurable blur.

Before he could move from the desk and see if his legs wanted to work for him, Rufus returned and handed him a very full glass of whiskey. "Here, drink this."

Reno arched his left eyebrow but nevertheless obeyed his president. "What, you think I won’t be drinking enough tonight?" He had about half an hour before he was supposed to meet up with Rude, Rod and bunch of other Turks for some party they’d been planning for the last couple of weeks. He wasn’t quite sure what was going on since everyone had always shut up when he’d walked into any conversation having to do with the party, and those idiots should know better than to pull some sort of prank on him.

"I’m thinking maybe you should have a head-start tonight." Rufus’s grin just then was too pleased and mysterious for words, making Reno pause in raising the glass to his lips. After eyeing his lover for a few seconds, he tipped the glass back and let the alcohol flow down his throat. If he was going to be the butt of someone’s joke, he wanted to be drunk enough that he could plead his inebriated state to a judge when he was brought up on homicide charges.

While he drank, Rufus sipped some whiskey and played with his hair. Reno set the now empty glass aside and poked his lover in the ribs. "So, first you fuck me and now you’re trying to get me drunk. You’re supposed to do it in reverse."

Rufus shrugged and left Reno’s hair alone to run his fingers along Reno’s jaw. "But it’s more fun when you’re not so drunk during sex." He had a point so Reno dropped the matter, closing his eyes and enjoying his lover’s touch instead. The whiskey had to be pretty damn potent because he swore that he was feeling a slight buzz already.

"Guess… guess that’s why we fucked now, instead of later." Was he actually slurring his words? He opened his eyes and had to blink them a few times to get them to focus. Rufus, wearing only a white pair of pants, picked a white shirt off the floor and draped it over Reno’s shoulders.

"According to tradition, I won’t be seeing you for the rest of the night, Reno. It was enjoy you now or not at all." The smile on Rufus’ face just then set off warning bells in Reno’s head, but for some reason the alcohol hit him as if he’d been drinking for hours.

"Tradition?" Dammit, he *was* slurring. Reno shook his head to try to clear it and only wound up feeling dizzy.

"Admittedly, we’re not sticking to many, but your friends seem to insist on one or two of them. A shame that you’ll be too out of it to enjoy tonight, but at least I know you won’t be doing anything stupid." Rufus slowly buttoned up Reno’s shirt. "Although I’m sure as far as your friends are concerned, all that matters is if you show up. I’ll bet that no one will be surprised if you’re a bit worse for wear already, considering tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Reno idly recalled something about a party, but his thoughts were too disjointed to make any sense.

"Tomorrow." Rufus’ smile was definitely pure evil, and Reno found himself yanked from the desk so his lover could pull his pants up. "I’ll be waiting for you, Reno." He was kissed again, long and hard enough to make him feel even dizzier, until there was a knock on the door. Rufus called out for whoever it was interrupting them to enter, and the next thing Reno knew, he was being dragged off by Rod and Cyril. Feeling as if his mind had effectively shut down, Reno allowed himself to half-carried off to whatever the hell party his friends were throwing for him.

*******

The next time Reno had a mostly coherent thought, he found himself sprawled out on a narrow bed in a small, plain room. While he put together that he was in one of the spare rooms kept for Turks whenever they had to sleep at headquarters, Tseng leaned over him and pressed two warm fingers against the side of his neck, as if checking his pulse.

"Leave me alone," Reno muttered, his mouth feeling parched and his head aching a little.

"I’m afraid that’s not a choice at this point." Tseng sat back in the chair beside the bed and reached for something inside his jacket. "Just as I’m sorry about this. The president wants to ensure that you don’t create a scene today." He pulled out a hypodermic and, before Reno could get his body to listen to him, quickly injected something into his arm.


"What… what the…." His mind just beginning to clear up, it clouded over again as he struggled against Tseng. His superior kept him pinned to the bed while whatever the drug was worked its way through his system.

"I’ve been assured there will be no negative effects to the drug," Tseng said as he pulled an unresisting Reno into a sitting position. "In a few minutes, you’ll be able to move again, and we’ll get you ready for the day. Now I need you to keep two words in mind."

Lolling to the side to rest against Tseng’s shoulder, Reno made an inarticulate sound. His entire being was focused on what Tseng was telling him, a voice whispering inside his head that it was very important to follow orders. When Tseng told him what those two words were, he mouthed them as best he could.

*******

The next hour or two felt as if it was a movie being shown to Reno, something that was detached from him. He put up with Tseng helping him in the shower and dressing him in a white suit, then sat quietly on the bed while Tseng got prepared as well. Then he was escorted to a waiting limousine, where Tseng patiently repeated what Reno was to do when they reached their destination. Once at some huge church festooned with flowers and ribbons, he was taken inside and led by the arm down a long aisle. Some of the faces staring at him were familiar, and he could see Rufus standing by some old guy in a white robe, wearing a pale grey suit of all things. The old guy prattled on about fidelity, love and a bunch of other nonsense, and after what felt to be forever, Reno was turned to face Rufus. When his lover held his hand and the old guy asked him something, Reno remembered what Tseng had told him to say.

"I do."

Then Rufus slipped a ring onto his finger and gave him a kiss, a warm, soft brush of lips that made Reno lean toward his lover. Everybody started yelling and Reno found himself pulled down the long aisle again, coming to a little when everyone started throwing flowers at him. Rufus kept him from stopping until they were outside, and then he suffered several minutes of bright, flashing lights while his lover posed him this way and that.

There was another ride in the limousine, more flashing lights and then he sat down at a table that faced a roomful of people, the place decorated with more flowers and ribbons. His thoughts slowly began to clear as Rude and Tseng gave speeches about friendship and happiness and a bunch of other bullshit, and every time he tried to sip from the tall, narrow glass by his plate, Tseng or Rufus stopped him. That was, until Rufus clicked his glass against Reno’s, who was finally allowed a sip of the drink. Realizing that it was champagne, he almost spit it out before Rufus leaned in close and hissed into his ear to swallow it. That made him a bit lightheaded again, but between the fancy meal served to him and then being pulled onto the dance floor by his lover, he finally fought off the effects of whatever Tseng had shot into him.

"You fucking bastard," Reno swore, his voice pitched low because of the fact that the damn drug had left him with a killer headache. "What the hell have you done?" He tried to pull away from Rufus and storm out of the place, but was thrown off-balance by a backward dip that left him clutching at his lover’s shoulders even when he was upright again.

"What you suggested that I do, Reno. I’ve made sure that I’ll no longer be bothered by people pressing me to marry someone and start a family." Rufus’ grin was pure evil as he spun Reno around in a tight circle.

"You drugged me and forced me to marry you!" Reno tugged at his left hand, firmly trapped in Rufus’ grip, and would have kicked the bastard if Rufus hadn’t moved to the next dance step. "I’m going to fucking kill you!"

Rufus had the audacity to laugh. "No, I don’t think so. Just a word of warning; there’s a line in the pre-nupt that states you’ll never inherit any money if I die either by your hand or under suspicious circumstances."

"I don’t give a damn about the money!" Gritting the words out between his clenched teeth, Reno had to close his eyes again when he was spun around the dance floor. "And stop that!"

"Sorry, it’s customary for the married couple to dance a waltz. Be a good boy and you’ll be able to enjoy some cake in a little bit." For someone being threatened with death, Rufus didn’t sound very concerned.

"You’re fucking nuts." Reno tried one more time to pull free, but whatever drugs Rufus and Tseng had given him, he felt too weak to do anything but go along with Rufus. "I was forced under duress to marry you."

Rufus shook his head and pulled Reno closer. "You agreed to the marriage. I’ve a signed copy of the pre-nuptial and marriage license locked safely away in my office, and you’ve had the past two months to complain about the wedding. No one will believe you."

Reno stared at his lover in shock. "When did all that happen?"

"The pre-nuptial and license were part of the stack of paperwork you completed two weeks ago, and I announced our engagement the day after your ‘proposal’." Oh yes, Rufus looked smug as hell. "I even told them how one of us was on our knees at the time."

"I was getting a fucking bottle of alcohol from freezer!" Reno winced as he shouted the furious words as loud as he could, his head complaining at the volume and the damn band that was playing so loud.

"I accepted your proposal to be ‘taken off the market’. It’s all a matter of interpretation." Rufus’ evil grin was the only warning that Reno had before he was dipped again. "Now is a bit too late to complain. You posed for engagement photos, helped shop for the wedding registry and even participated in your own bachelor party."

That made Reno recall what had happened yesterday afternoon. "You drugged me, you sick, manipulative fuck."

"Yes. Once it became clear that you’d no idea what you’d let yourself in for, I must admit I took advantage of the situation. You made it much too easy, Reno." Rufus sounded too smug for words.

Wondering if he could get close enough to a table to grab a knife, Reno bared his teeth at his ‘husband’. "Except what’s gonna happen once this dance is over."

"Nothing." Rufus tightened his hold on Reno’s hand and hugged him closer. "We’ll let people dance for a while then cut the cake. After another hour of people wishing us well and making drunken fools of themselves, we’ll leave on our honeymoon. I hope you don’t mind a week in Costa del Sol, ‘sweetie’."

Momentarily distracted by the thought of a week’s vacation at Rufus’ expense, Reno shook his head and glared at the bastard. "And what keeps me from storming out of here and asking for a divorce?" he hissed.

Dammit, if Rufus kept smiling like that, he’d find a way to deck the bastard. "Just how are you going to explain to people that you had no clue about a wedding when everyone else on the planet has heard about it for the last several weeks?"

Reno stared at his lover and almost missed a step. "You’re kidding, right? That’s just more of your shit."

"No, it’s not. I even changed the law so two men could marry so our union is legal."

That brought back memories of the party at Rude’s apartment and the news report. Following that was Rude asking him about the ‘announcement’, the odd congratulations the other Turks had given him over the weeks, all the times he’d heard Rufus’ name mentioned on the news before he either turned it off or tuned it out. "You’re kidding," he repeated, suddenly not feeling very convinced that Rufus was. "You did all of that just to get the damn press off your back?"

"Hmm, it was more than just the press. The public will have more confidence in ShinRa if it’s clear that I’m passing along a legacy, and it’s easier to be a public figure when one is married and settled in a family."

Reno felt a growing sense of horror with each word his lover said. "Rufus… we’re both guys. If you want a fucking family, you should have married a woman."

"That’s not a problem." Rufus spun him around again, the hand pressed firmly against the small of his back moving up to the nape of his neck. "I’ve talked to several ShinRa scientists, and it’ll be very easy to combine our DNA together and find a surrogate mother to carry our offspring. I figured we’d wait another year or two before starting a family."

Feeling as if he was in some sort of twisted nightmare, Reno shook his head as Rufus finally stopped moving around. "I’m fucked, aren’t I?" One thing was perfectly clear; Rufus had spent the past two months maneuvering him into a corner that he’d have to think damn hard over for a hint of a way out of.

Rufus tugged gently on his hair to make him tilt his head back. "Not until the honeymoon." Before Reno could begin cursing the manipulative bastard, Rufus kissed him silent.

*******

Thrashing against the sheets, Reno sat up in a rush, his head aching from the sudden movement.  It took him several seconds to stop hyperventilating and to realize that he was in his bed at home and not at some fancy ballroom, that there was no ring on his finger and that it had to been one hell of a nightmare.

"Hmm, Reno."

Hearing his lover murmur his name, Reno managed to get his body to cooperate long enough so he could turn to look at the bastard.  Rufus was still sound asleep, curled up in bed and appearing perfectly innocent.  He didn't look like a man who would trick his lover into some... some *horrid* arrangement, make him dress up and drug him and even have *kids*, of all fucking things!  His hands shaking with anger, Reno reached for his lover.

*******

"Hmm, Reno."  Rufus smiled as he combed his fingers through his lover's crimson hair, using a handful of the strands to make Reno keep moving downward.  Reno gave him a devilish wink as he undid the button of Rufus' pants, his tongue darting out to wet his lips.  Soon those lips would be wrapped around Rufus' hard cock, something that Rufus was growing very impatient-

Pleasure and anticipation quickly turned into pain and dizziness.  Left feeling completely dazed, Rufus opened his eyes and realized that somehow, he'd ended up on the bedroom floor.  Looking at his bed, he found a furious Reno glaring at him as if he'd just told the Turk that he'd been fired or something.

'What the hell is-"

"Fucking manipulative, perverted as hell, insane bastard!" Reno yelled, cutting Rufus off before he could ask what was going on.  "No way in fucking hell, do you hear?  Fucking kids of all things as if I'm a damn woman!"  While Reno continued his insane ranting, he snatched a blanket from the bed, wrapped it around his waist and stormed out of the bedroom, yelling all the while about china patterns, kids, flowers and Rufus' 'manipulative' nature.  It was only when he'd moved far enough away that the rants came to an end.

Still clueless about what had just happened and not sure that he wanted to know, Rufus picked himself off the floor and reached into the nightstand for the flask of whiskey he kept there 'for emergencies'.  Once it was gone, he'd go back to sleep, and if Reno was still completely insane by morning, he'd knock the bastard out and have him dragged into Medical.

******* 

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