Established Rules


by nekojita


Ed groaned and opened his eyes, still a little tired and sore but with the way the light was shining through the bedroom window, he couldn’t remain asleep any longer. He had some very dark thoughts about sadistic Brigadier Generals who had a thing about closed curtains and decided it would be best to get out of bed. After all, he’d slept a good twelve hours already, he noticed after a quick glance at the clock, and any more sleep and he’d be brain-dead for the day. Which wasn’t a very good condition to be in when he had to stop by the office to go over the report from his latest assignment.

He must have just missed Roy leaving for work since the bathroom mirror was still a bit fogged from his lover’s shower. Grumbling under his breath about all the different ways to transmute a human body into spittoon if said human body in question hadn’t left any hot water for him, he let out a long, low sigh of contentment when he turned on the shower’s taps. There was still hot water – for the foreseeable future, at least – and he made the most of it. All he’d done last night before collapsing in bed was a cursory rinse-off, so now he took the time to properly clean. It felt so good to take his hair out if its braid and to scrub his scalp, to let the hot water rain down on him and wash away the last of his body’s aches.

About twenty minutes later, he relinquished the shower and its now warm water to dry off. Once his hair was towel-dried and combed, he chose to leave it loose for a little longer and got dressed. Black pants, black tank top and loose black shirt left untucked, he decided he was decent enough to go see if there was any breakfast ready.

He found Mrs. Jansen in the kitchen humming a popular melody as she poured some coffee into his favorite mug. The young widow looked up and smiled as he approached the table. "Ah, I see I judged things just right. Ready for breakfast?" she asked in her quiet voice.

Nodding frantically, he slid into his seat and tried to blow on the coffee to help it cool that much quicker. He was starved and tired, what his poor body needed was lots of food and caffeine. Mrs. Jansen, the lovely woman that she was, giggled softly as she set a plate overflowing with bacon and eggs down in front of him. He shoved several pieces of bacon into his mouth while he slathered some berry jam onto the toast, and it seemed in no time that all of the wonderful food and coffee was gone. Mindful of the housekeeper’s presence, he managed to hold back a burp until he made his excuses and left the kitchen.

Well, he was awake, clean and well-fed. There was no reason to not finish getting ready and leave for work, to get his stupid field review out of the way. Grumbling once more, he brushed his teeth, braided his hair, stomped into his boots and pulled on his red coat. He tugged his gloves on as he made his way back downstairs, and he stopped by the kitchen to let Mrs. Jansen know that he was leaving.

She nodded at the news, along with his statement that he should be back in another hour or two. At his question of if she needed anything while he was out, she shook her head. "No, that’s alright, Mr. Elric. Since you’re back in town I plan on doing some grocery shopping. Thank you for asking." Her quiet demeanor sparked into something more lively when he asked her another question.

"How are the kids?"’

"Gretchen and Adam are fine, thank you. They’re busy with school right now." A lovely smile transformed Mrs. Jansen from a mousy woman into an enchanting one, and he felt a flash of guilt that here he was in a nice house that he shared with his lover while Mrs. Jansen worked hard to make enough to support her children and herself. Oh, he and Roy certainly paid her well for her work but she wouldn’t accept charity and so wouldn’t take that much more than most housekeepers earned.

Still, maybe they could force some sort of bonus upon her once she reached a year’s anniversary of service or something. There was a rumor that Roy was to be promoted soon, to an actual General, and maybe then they could convince the woman that they had to pay her more or the other Generals would look down on poor Roy. Ed grimaced at the thought and laughed out loud as he made his way to his lover’s office. If there was anyone who could convince a person of something so preposterous, Roy could. Damn the man for being a highly persuasive bastard.

As much as Ed didn’t look forward to going over his report with his lover and superior officer, he found his pace quickening with each step until he walked with such haste that his coat flapped all around him. This time, he’d only been gone for two weeks but he missed Roy, dammit, missed their fights and their making up and the quiet times inbetween. And of course he’d been too tired to do much more than wash off before he collapsed in bed last night, but Roy had curled up beside him, a warm, soothing presence that he’d missed so much. Dammit, he wasn’t supposed to feel this way, wasn’t supposed to be so mushy that a few days away from his lover nearly had him in tears.

Okay, he thought with an amused snort, maybe things weren’t that bad but it still took some getting used to, the fact that at Roy’s side was his true home. He’d spent too many years in one sort of power struggle or another with the manipulative bastard for him to accept this unconditional surrender. And there was still a bit of guilt over the truth that his home didn’t include Al any longer but he wanted what was best for his brother. At least this way, Roy couldn’t drag Al into any of his damned machinations. Al at least had a chance of not getting shot for mutiny, and Ed refused to dwell on why it was that he’d be just as guilty as Roy if that ever happened. He did in fact know how to tell his lover ‘no’. Honestly, he did. Unless Roy did that thing with his voice…. Huhn, ‘manipulative’ wasn’t a strong enough of a word to sum up Roy. And yet here he was, living with the man. Maybe part of his brain had been taken along with his arm and his leg….

Ed continued to think of all of Roy’s faults as he made his way into town. If past experience had taught him anything, it was the fact that it was better to be pissed off and highly suspicious when confronting his lover at work, not mushy and lovesick. Nope, Roy would walk all *over* his ass if he went in with a hint of weakness. And considering what had happened at Munintown, it would be best to go in swinging.


Finally reaching Roy’s office, Ed nodded in greeting to Havoc and Breda, and mumbled a ‘hello’ to Lieutenant Hawkeye. Something must be up considering the way that Hawkeye angled her chair so it directly faced Roy’s door, and Breda and Havoc suddenly seemed to have something important to search for in the filing cabinets against the wall that was shared by Roy’s office. His bad mood increasing at their antics, he scowled as he approached Roy’s office and didn’t even bother to knock. His lover would know it was him from the way the door was kicked in.

If he’d hoped to startle the man, he was sorely disappointed. Roy sat behind his desk, perfectly composed save for the slight arch of his left eyebrow. In his hands was the report that Ed had spent several hours compiling while on the train ride back to Central.

At the sight of his lover, all Ed’s hormones wanted him to do was go over to the desk, rip the report out of his lover’s hands and kiss him silly. His sense of self-preservation basically backed up the plan, at least the ‘rip the report’ part. The sinking feeling in his stomach helped to snap him out of his daze before anything happened, though, and he forced himself to go sit on the couch. While there weren’t many of them, there were a few rules that he and Roy saw the need for, and one of them was that they remained on the most professional of behaviors while in the office. There was no excuse to give their enemies any ammunition to use against them, after all. No more than they already did with the fact that they refused to end their relationship.

Feeling his anger begin to fade at the thought of that word, he forced himself to flop down onto the couch and glare at his lover. No weakness! he sternly told himself. "Can we get this stupid ritual over with quickly?" he snarled and folded his arms over his chest.

Roy gave him a cool look and lowered his left eyebrow. "Good morning, Fullmetal. And what ‘stupid ritual’ would you be referring to? I certainly hope it’s not in regards to the standard debriefing procedure," Roy said, his voice perfectly smooth and rational.

His mood fluctuating once more, Ed cursed under his breath as his hands twitched in anger. When Roy spoke like that, he felt the urge to either bash his lover’s head in or kiss him breathless. Neither were an option right now – which he bet the bastard understood fully, especially when he noticed that the corners of Roy’s mouth curved ever so slightly into a smile.

"You’re not only a bastard but a sadistic one at that, Mustang," he grumbled as he fought with the conflicting emotions. Once he got a whiff of his lover’s cologne, the ‘kiss him’ impulse edged past the ‘bash him’ but before his hormones could force his body off the couch, Roy’s next comment swung things back in favor of ‘bash’.

"Well, considering that your part in this ‘ritual’ pertains to you kicking in my door, stomping into my office and then insulting me, I must admit that being a sadistic bastard is better than a temperamental brat." Roy frowned at the report in his hand. "Make that a destructive, temperamental brat who has a terrible tendency to knock down historical architecture."

Only knowledge of the fact that Hawkeye and her gun were right outside the door helped Ed to remain seated on the couch. The battle had been fully engaged, it was best to get it over with and then get out of here before he did something he regretted. After all, Roy wouldn’t be up for any sex if his head was repeatedly smacked against the floor. His anger at Roy for sending him on such a stupid mission merged with his annoyance that his lover looked so damn sexy in a uniform.

"I rebuilt the thing good as new," he gritted through his teeth. "Even though that building was so ugly it deserved to be reduced to rumble." Really, what had architects been thinking two hundred years ago? The fact that the building had came down so easily just proved that it hadn’t been constructed very well in the first place. "In fact, it’s better than new, now."

Roy leaned back in his chair, the report held in his right hand. "Except for the fact that all the antiques you destroyed and then restored are now only worth a tenth of their original value since they’ve been altered by alchemy." A slight frown crept over his face. "The Hossenbergs are not very pleased with the State right now."

Unable to just sit still and take this, Ed leaned forward, his clenched hands on his knees. "I don’t give a damn what those people think. They were aiding and abetting a madman! Those assholes felt that their precious name meant they could do whatever they wanted to anyone not born as ‘high’ as them." He snorted in disgust.

Roy set the paper down on his desk and then stared directly at Ed, his hands clasped before him. "Which brings us on to the next topic of discussion, the fact that Joseph Hossenberg is currently in the hospital and in no condition to face trial. You have this very annoying tendency to dispense your own form of justice instead of letting the State do its job." There was a hint of anger in Roy’s voice then, a dark gleam in his eyes. "While your actions do tend to endear you to the common people, your actions show a disturbing trend. The courts are there for a reason, Fullmetal. You are a State Alchemist, not a judge and jury wrapped all up in a rather small package."

"Who’s so small they should be wrapped – gah, don’t even try that, you bastard!" Ed yelled, halfway to his feet. Dammit, he *had* to stop letting Roy get to him like this, to provoke him as if he were still a kid. He took a few deep breaths and struggled to control his temper. And to think that he’d been worried that he’d be too mushy today? He should have his head examined…. "All I did was fulfill my mission. The suspect took refuge in his family’s house, and they refused to allow me entrance. Worried that he’d dispose of the evidence of his latest crime, I forced my way inside. It’s not my fault that the place got damaged when his asshole family fought me for him." He smoothed his hands down the front of his coat in an effort to calm himself. "I know I put in the report what he did to that poor woman." His stomach threatened to rebel at the mere thought of what he’d found in Munintown.

Roy’s dark eyes lost a bit of their coldness. "I read the report in all of its entirety, and spoke with the local constable as well." He sighed deeply and leaned back into his chair.
"All that really matters is that there weren’t be any more murders. *However*," he said, the arch back into his eyebrow, "I expect better from you, Fullmetal. An alchemist of your ability should be able to do something more creative than simple, massive-scale destruction. You should work on that before your next review."

Ed forced his lips to pull back from his clenched teeth in a parody of a smile. "Then perhaps you should consider sending me on missions better suited to my talents."

"It seems that simple, massive-scale destruction *is* your strong suit, Fullmetal," Roy sniffed. "I was hoping that you’d outgrown it by now. Evidently, I was wrong," he said as his eyes raked over Ed’s body.

Okay, that was it, he’d bash the bastard’s head in and tell his hormones to go jump in a lake, Ed decided as he stomped over to Roy’s desk. The man didn’t even have the decency to appear startled or afraid when he grabbed ahold of dark blue material and jerked it forward. His left fist held up to strike, he suddenly found his world narrowing down to a pair of curved lips. Unable to look away from his lover’s mouth, he leaned forward a bit more, just as Roy did-

"I’m sorry to interrupt, Brigadier General, but there is some important paperwork for you to sign."

Hawkeye’s arrival into the room made them both jump back, and Roy’s expression seemed just as startled as Ed felt. He licked his lips as he stepped away from the desk and swore he heard Roy groan in response. The sound made him want to bridge the space between them – and then he noticed the fact that Hawkeye’s gun holster was unsnapped.

"These need to be signed right away, sir," Hawkeye commented, her voice perfectly dry but a warning glint in her eye. "I apologize for interrupting you just now, but as the yelling had stopped, I assumed your discussion with Fullmetal was finished."

Roy shook his head as if to clear it and looked up at his subordinate. "That’s all right, Lieutenant." He glanced at Ed, a chagrined smile on his lips. "Is there any more of your ritual left?"

"Hmm, I usually insult you a few times, you make fun of my height once more, and that’s about it." He pretended to brush some lint from the left sleeve of his coat as he barred his teeth at his lover. "I’m more than willing to skip another boring, senseless lecture if you are."

Roy made a shooing motion with his right hand. "Upon taking into account your ability to accept advice, I think we’ve discussed all we need to today. Just be warned that the next time that you commit senseless destruction of property, there will be serious consideration to paying for the damage out of your own expense account."

Pissed off at the threat, Ed had no choice but to let Roy get the last word in when he saw Hawkeye’s right hand drift toward her weapon. Glaring at the bastard, he muttered a curse under his breath and stomped out of the office. It wasn’t until he was two blocks away that he realized that Roy had made that threat several times already, and it had never been carried out yet. Now more upset at himself for falling for the trick, he stomped the rest of the way home.


Stretched out on the living room’s couch as he read, Ed debated if he should get up and feed himself or wait a little longer until Mrs. Jansen returned. She would be sure to fix him something much more delicious than what he’d make on his own, he thought. Then his stomach rumbled so loudly that he gave up and set the book aside. Having skipped dinner last night in favor of sleep, his body seemed determined to make up for the missed meal today.

He went to the kitchen and looked into the icebox in an attempt to figure out what to make. It quickly became apparent that Mrs. Jansen had gone shopping because there was almost no food left in the house. When he was out of town for work or research, Roy tended to eat out most nights so the housekeeper probably hadn’t bothered much with shopping these last two weeks.

Trying to decide if he could make a filling meal out of a few crackers and some jam, he felt his heart lift when he heard the front door open. Then he realized that Mrs. Jansen would have brought the groceries in through the kitchen door and hurried to see who was home. He wasn’t very surprised to find Roy standing in the foyer.

Still a little ticked off over their argument, he opened his mouth to ask his lover what the hell he was doing home and suddenly found himself pressed against the wall. Roy took advantage of his parted lips and kissed him so thoroughly that he damn near forgot his own name, let alone the fact that they were supposed to be fighting. Of course, his hormones were only too happy with the situation and so he found himself willingly following his lover when Roy finally broke off the kiss and dragged him along by the hand.

"Ah, what are you doing here?" Ed managed to sputter as he hurried up the stairs behind Roy. "What about-"

"I’ve spent the last two hours doing nothing but signing papers," Roy growled, his left hand busy undoing the buttons of his jacket while his right one remained around Ed’s left wrist. "I think I’m allowed a long lunch today as I’ve worked through the last three this week alone."

And just like that, it wasn’t work-time any more, Ed thought as he jerked his wrist free so he could begin undoing some buttons of his own. This wasn’t Roy’s office, Roy was on break and damnit, he’d missed the man so much while away on assignment. They were here, in their house and anyone who had a problem with what they were about to do could go to hell. Better yet, Hawkeye was nowhere in sight….

Dropping his shirt to the floor, he quickly tugged his tank top over his head and then tossed it aside. "If Hawkeye shows up here to shoot your ass for deserting work, I’m not getting in her way," he complained as he worked on the zipper of his pants.

Letting his coat fall to the floor, Roy stepped closer so he could help Ed tug the pants down his legs. "She was the one to inform me that I had a nice, big empty spot in my schedule. As long as I’m back by three o’clock, things should be fine."

His pants now kicked aside, Ed began to help Roy get rid if his uniform. "Well, considering your advance age, that should be just enough time for you to recover and get back to work." The way Roy’s chest muscled flexed as he shrugged out of his shirt made Ed’s mouth drool.

"Considering your… ‘immaturity’, I’m sure I’ll have plenty of time to recover." Roy gave him a too-sweet smile while he scowled over the jab to his stamina. "Add to that the fact that you’ve been gone for two weeks and I’ll have enough time left over to stop someplace and have a nice, long lunch."

"Bastard," Ed muttered and ran his left hand along his lover’s chest. "I just don’t believe in drawing things out as long as you." It stung a bit that he felt so hard right now that the slightest touch could set him off. To not have Roy for so long and then for his lover to be right here…. There was a quick thought of making a comment that if it was such a bother, he’d find some sort of ‘relief’ while out on assignment so he wasn’t so excited when he came home but it was quickly discarded. Just like there was no ‘playing’ while at work, there were some lines that weren’t crossed even in jest. The only way the both of them could handle their time apart was if there were absolutely no doubts between them. "You really are sadistic."

"And you’re too impatient," Roy said, his voice thick with desire. "But, just this once, it’s not a terribly bad thing." He stepped out of his pants and pulled Ed against his naked body.

There was such a strong sense of contentment that ran through him at the feel of Roy’s body against his that Ed moaned in pleasure. Suddenly, he didn’t feel up to any more verbal sparring, not when there were so many better things to do. Like to do his best to kiss Roy entirely breathless so the smug bastard couldn’t insult him any more.

As his lips pressed against Roy’s, his lover groaned deep in his throat and clutched Ed even closer. Mindful of his automail, Ed returned the gesture as best he could and entangled as they were, they made their way to the bed. Another rule – because of his automail they had to let go of each other and he was the first one to fall onto the bed so Roy didn’t get what little sense he had left smacked out of him by a metal limb. Chuckling a little over the memory of a dazed, bruised Roy, Ed tugged his lover down beside him.

Roy smiled and pulled him close once again, their legs entwined until their groins brushed together with an electric jolt that made Ed suck in his breath. "And maybe you’re just a little too amused, also. I think it’s time that you became serious about something."

Before he could answer such nonsense, Ed found himself drowning in Roy’s version of ‘seriousness’. His lover’s tongue teased at his own, his lover’s hips rocked forward as his lover’s hands stroked along his body, along the sensitive spots of his back…. No, some clever and biting retort was the last thing on his mind right now, not when he was naked and had an equally naked Roy’s undivided attention. There really wasn’t much else to do but to thoroughly enjoy the moment.

Suddenly, two weeks felt entirely too long. He kissed Roy fervently and pressed against him, tried to feel as much of him as possible in order to make the intense longing he felt fade into something more manageable. Over a year into this relationship, almost half of that time spent on the road for either a mission or a visit back to Riesenbul and the emotion should be weakening, not getting stronger. He should be used to their separations and not so desperate for his lover. But judging from the way Roy kissed him back, the way Roy’s hands held him so close he wasn’t the only one who failed to get used to their time apart.

Now it seemed that all they wanted was to devour each other, to taste and caress as much of each other as possible. Soon enough his entire being was filled with Roy, all his senses taken over by his lover and he took him in eagerly, wantonly. There was no way in hell he’d ever tell Roy just how much he truly needed and wanted him but at times like these, he couldn’t find it in himself to deny those emotions.

And thankfully, soon enough all he could feel was pleasure strong enough to blank out everything else with the way that Roy’s hands moved along his body, the way Roy’s cock thrust in deep and Roy’s mouth tormented his over-sensitive skin. Then it didn’t seem so bad to cling to his lover, to beg and plead – something he never did at any other point in their relationship – and if he said something too revealing, too honest then it was just because of the heat of passion. From the way that Roy carefully, tenderly held him close and drove him half-mad with ecstasy he knew his lover felt the same… but there was no reason to put it in words. They’d just say something stupid and start another fight.


He was curled up against Roy’s sweaty chest when he heard the kitchen door open and close. Now that the incredible sex was out of the way, his stomach decided to remind him that it was owed at least one meal, hopefully two.

Roy sighed at the noise and poked him in the left shoulder. "And right there is the reason why you’ll never be transferred to Intelligence," Roy remarked in a rather snarky tone of voice.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Ed asked as he forced himself to sit upright and glare at his lover. His body protested a little at the movement, a bit sore after two weeks with no sex.

The smile his lover gave him just then would have been beautiful to see if it wasn’t so damn smug. "You’d never be able to spy on anyone – your stomach would always give you away!"

"Gee, and here I thought I took that stupid test to practice alchemy, not stalk people," he mumbled and decided to change the subject. Roy seemed in a very good mood right now so he didn’t want to bring up Hughes. "Speaking of which, why am I spending so much time chasing after serial killers? I mean, I know the Army is filled with incompetent bastards," he held back on the ‘like you’ part only with a massive effort of will, "but surely there are some decent investigators who can do the work, not me."

His left eyebrow arched, most likely because he had heard what Ed hadn’t mentioned, Roy tugged him back down onto the bed. "Because they wouldn’t have gone into the Hossenberg’s home like you did," Roy admitted after a minute, sounding as if the truth had been dragged out of him.

Ed wanted to say something about not getting bitched at for destroying property if he was doing a job no one else would touch when his stomach rumbled again, this time so loudly he actually felt a bit embarrassed. Roy sighed and then laughed, the serious, dark look gone from his eyes and replaced with a warm smile.

"I think we better see to that before the neighbors start to complain," he teased Ed as he gently pushed him upright. "Since Mrs. Jansen is back, hopefully she can make us something for lunch. I need to be back to work in about an hour."

Grumbling at being forced to move, even if there was hope of food in it, Ed slowly scooted to the end of the bed. "Or you could always pry some money out of your wallet and treat us to lunch, you cheapskate."

In the process of picking his uniform up from the floor, Roy looked at him and blinked. "I don’t know if I can afford to feed a bottomless pit like you." The bastard laughed and nimbly dodged the shirt thrown his way. "But I guess it’s not fair to inflict your empty stomach on the poor woman, either. If you can be ready in ten minutes, we’ll go out to eat – somewhere cheap."

"You make it sound like they don’t pay Brigadier Generals anything," Ed muttered as he looked about for his robe. "And you’re a State Alchemist, to boot."

"Yes, but I have to pay for half of our grocery bill," Roy pointed out and gave up on his wrinkled clothes. He opened the closet door and selected a clean, pressed suit which he draped over the back of the chair. "I think that automail leg of yours is hollow. It’s the only explanation of where all the food goes."

Ed just barely resisted the urge to smack his idiot lover. Fighting always led to more sex and if Roy didn’t report back to work on time, Hawkeye would show up to find out why her superior officer was late. And Havoc would probably tag along so he could see the two of them be shot or something. "You’ve just forgotten what a youthful metabolism is like," he snapped.

"You know, Ed, that excuse doesn’t really work for you very well." Roy pulled on his own robe and opened the bedroom door. "A young person has a fast metabolism because they need the energy for their body to grow. But you… well, let’s just say your growth spurt, unimpressive as it was, ended a long time ago." A wicked smile on his face, Roy left the room.

All Ed could do for a few seconds was stand there, his robe half on, and stare at the empty doorway. There was no way in hell that Roy had just said that. However, his brain insisted that yes, indeed his lover had just thoroughly insulted his height. Deciding that Hawkeye come could here and shoot up the whole damn house if she wanted, he stomped to the bathroom so he could drown his bastard of a lover in the shower.


Return to Archive