[Disclaimer: I don’t own Weiss Kreuz, I know. Please don’t sue, I mean no harm.]

SLIP OF SANITY

WARNING: Dark. Yaoi. Character death.

ADD. NOTES: I was brushing my teeth and listening to Hallowed Be Thy Name – the Cradle of Filth-version when this popped up. Show how sane my muse is, right? :)

*******

I can feel my sanity slipping.

In tendrils, my mind drains itself as the mask I’ve always worn cracks a little more for every moment that pass. Like ice, tiny, tiny icicles melting and forming drops to run down my skin. They resemble blood. It’s beautiful to watch from here, but I don’t believe that anyone else could appreciate it like me. Not that I have to care about what they see me as by this time tomorrow, so why bother now?

The cell is bare, the four walls painted in stark white. I’m sitting on the bunk that belongs with it, the blanket still untouched at my feet. I haven’t moved for two days. I’ve had no reason to. The door is just across from me and I can see the men and women of Kritiker out there, watching me and waiting for me to snap. They can wait. I’m already crushed inside but nothing of it shows on my face or my body language – or lack of.

Why am I here, you wonder? Why am I stared at like some wild animal in fear and surprise? Why don’t I move and demand them to let me out – my employers and friends?

The answer is simple, really. To them, I’m nothing more than a criminal, a rabid dog that needs to be put down before he can turn on his masters. To me… I’m waiting for my release from this hell that was supposed to be my life. I’m waiting for another chance, another shot at happiness.

Still, you ask me why? What did I do?

This answer is more than simple.

I killed Yohji.

I separated his head from his neck with my blade in anger and hurt and betrayal.

And I would do it all again, if I had to. Perhaps, this time, it would be enough. Enough to stop him…

Confused? What would have caused me to turn on my own teammate like that, killing him without second thought?

Schuldig.

Schuldig was the cause. Yohji killed my lover in a fit of jealousy, he wanted Schuldig, so I killed him. An eye for an eye. Farfarello would understand. Weiss don’t. They never will. Ken and Omi have been at the other side of that door, stared at me as they were talking to Birman and Persia. Omi cried. And the ‘new’ Persia… Here, I can’t help but hold back a snicker – he thinks himself so powerful, so strong, but truth to be told, he isn’t. He’s as weak as those he has sworn to protect by allowing murder. By sending teams like Weiss out to clean the streets… At least the Takatori died an honourable death. This one won’t. Weak. I will spit on him, am I given the chance. I probably will be. He will be there, tomorrow at dawn, to see me fall. I will let him – I fell a long time ago, a little more won’t hurt me. Another thing they will never know…

But Schu… He knew, and he understood. And now, for that, he’s dead. Waiting for me in our own private hell. It doesn’t frighten me, not anymore. I am twenty-two years old and I will be dead in four hours. Again, I smile, one that I don’t think will reach my eyes. I hope that they’re watching – they got their surveillance cameras up in the corner of the cell and I know that they have been staring at me for two days. I haven’t cared.

Schu… Yohji shot him. Somehow, he managed to get his wire wrapped around his gun and Schu dropped it. I didn’t believe it could happen, but it did. And so Yohji shot him.

And I killed Yohji.

I was by Schu’s side when he died. I held him in my arms as he coughed up the last blood – he was always one for the dramatics, he could have been a great actor – and I heard his last words.

’See you around, Kätzchen…’

So much for famous last words. See you around… He used to slip those words to me when he left in the mornings, when I was still half asleep, to avoid a confrontation that neither of us would survive if my teammates found out.

Like it matters now…

Nothing does. I have not one thing, not one soul, to hold me back here. Nothing I can miss. Aya-chan… I haven’t spoken to her in two years – she turned her back on me as soon as she found out what I had done. She told me that her brother could never be a murderer and since that is what I am I was no longer her brother.

No one to hold me back…

So I sit here and wait, for dawn. Then, I will be a dead man walking, or whatever they say.

I dearly hope I get the chance to spit at Persia.

See you around, Kätzchen…  

 

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End

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