Good Intentions


Busy typing up some additional notes in a file, Levi ignored the lunatic creeping into his office on the forlorn hope that if he didn’t pay her any attention that she’d grow bored and go away. Really, he should know better by now, but he’d been neglecting this cold case for a while and finishing the Abrahm’s case had jogged a few ideas free….

“Lee-vi, are you really going to ruin your eyes squinting at some old photos when you’ve much better things to do, hmm?”

“If those ‘better things’ are play ‘guess what liquidized this organ’ with you, then yes, I’d much rather ruin my eyes,” he muttered as he tried to increase the size of the one photo to see if that really was a copy of an old Life magazine in the shot. Damn analog photos….

“Yeah, that’s a fun game all right, but this time I think you’re missing the point.” Before he could be certain of what was in the grainy photo, Hange grabbed onto the back of his chair and spun him around, the same time that she shoved her phone into his face. He caught a glimpse of the calendar date before it was safely snatched away when she danced out of reach, white – and thankfully clean – lab coat fluttering around from the motion and a normally deranged grin on her face.

“What the fuck are you up to this time?” He folded his arms across his chest and glared at the idiot. “I’m trying to-“

“Piss off your boyfriend by forgetting a very important date, yes?” Hange held up the phone again. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten what tomorrow is?” Her smile slipped a little when Levi gave her a blank stare in return. “Oh Sweetie, *really*?”

A sinking feeling slowly replaced the anger as Levi glanced back at the phone; dammit, was it really the 13th of February? “But… Eren’s not one of those sappy idiots who buy into that marketing bullshit,” he tried to argue. “He’s not a girl.”

Hange frowned as she shoved the phone into one of the coat’s deep front pockets and then pushed her wire-rimmed glasses farther up her nose. “Look, normally I’m all for letting you crash and burn because you’re a grumpy bastard when you think Erwin and I start interfering in anything remotely resembling your personal life, but I *like* Eren, and I think you’ll be even more of a grumpy bastard if something happens to him.” Glasses now settled, she stabbed her finger in Levi’s direction. “You’ve been going out for how many months now? I think he’s going to expect *something* from his boyfriend on a day dedicated to the idea of romantic love. So fake it for once.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” he muttered as he fussed with the sharp creases of his dress slacks. What the hell was he going to do? This… *thing* with Eren was the first time he’d been in any type of serious relationship, and now one of his best friends was pointing out how he was failing. Who cared about some frivolous holiday? His hands clenched against the soft material of his dark pants as he stared at his knees, doing his best to not think about Eren’s disappointment if he failed to show up tomorrow for their date with anything special planned – he should have *known* better when his younger boyfriend seemed so excited about the outing.

“Aww… look, maybe I can help you out. What do you have planned?”

Levi frowned as he glanced up and saw Hange smiling at him with a bizarrely tender expression on her face, her hands shoved into the coat’s pockets as she leaned forward. “Uh, I figured we’d head to my place to watch a movie and have some take-out.” It had been a hectic week, after all, what with finishing up the Abrahm’s case.

Hange gasped as she clutched at her chest in a dramatic manner, her dark brown hair flopping onto her face. “No, no, *no*, that won’t do! Oh, it’s a good thing you have your buddy here to help you out! We are going to save your date and get you some cute booty!” She cackled as she dragged Mike’s empty chair away from his desk so she could straddle it and sit down. “You might want to take some notes.”

Suddenly overcome with a bad feeling, Levi wondered if maybe he shouldn’t go to Erwin for some help… and realized that he really *was* screwed if things were desperate enough that he’d just considered something so drastic.


Eren fussed with the collar of his light blue shirt and frowned, uncertain if he shouldn’t wear the cream-colored sweater after all.

“It looks fine. You’re too good for the Shrimp.” Mikasa reached over to straighten out his collar and smoothed her hand over his right shoulder, her fine brows drawn together as she helped to make him look presentable.

“Thank you, and I happen to like ‘the Shrimp’. *You* look beautiful, and don’t get me started on Horseface.” He smiled when his sister rolled her eyes at his nickname for her boyfriend, yet there was a faint smile hovering on her bright red lips. She really did look lovely tonight, with a fitted red dress that matched the rare bit of make-up and her hair pinned away from her face.

“No one’s telling me how *I* look,” Armin called out from the living room.

They both laughed and went to give him a hug, causing him to complain that they were blocking him from his computer screen. “Sucks that you have to work tonight.”

“Hmm. Someone has to keep an eye on things – just means that Annie and I get to go out on a less hectic night.” Armin didn’t seem too upset, but Eren was certain that his friend had probably managed to sweet-talk one hell of a nice bonus out of Shadis for monitoring the chatrooms all night. Before he could try again to find out what, exactly, the doorbell rang to announce either Levi or Jean.

Rushing to answer it in case it was Levi, Eren checked first and then opened the door with a big smile, a slight fluttering in his chest to find Levi standing on the other side of it. His boyfriend had dressed up for the occasion as well, in black slacks, a white shirt and what looked to be a black dress coat beneath his grey winter coat, and he was holding a bundle of flowers wrapped in cellophane. “Levi!”

“Hey.” Levi stepped into the apartment and shoved the flowers at Eren as he looked aside. “These are for you.”

“Uhm, thank you.” They didn’t smell like roses…. Eren was just pushing back the bright red cellophane that had protected the flowers from the cold when Mikasa came to join him, a distant expression on her face because of Levi’s presence. That expression turned to anger when they both recognized the white and pink flowers with their clusters of petals inside.

She stomped toward Levi and got up in his face. “You *dare* to give my brother chrysanthemums?!?”

Levi blinked a few times as if confused and then his grey eyes narrowed in anger as well. “What’s the big fucking deal? They’re flowers, it’s Valentine’s Day, so what if they’re not red roses. Thought that might be too girly or something.”

Eren snatched at his sister’s arm and pulled her back before she did something crazy like take a swing at his boyfriend; Mikasa was incredibly strong, but so was Levi and he didn’t want to spend the night bailing either of them out of jail or worse. “Look, at least they’re not planted,” he tried to reassure her. When that joke failed, he gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and let go of her arm in favor of Levi’s. “All right, we’re going now!” It was a little difficult to grab his jacket while still holding the flowers, but thankfully Armin helped him out by draping it over his arm. “Don’t wait up for me!”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to spe-“

Fortunately the door shut on whatever objection Mikasa was making, and Eren wasn’t sticking around to let her finish. He pulled Levi along until they were outside, where he tugged on his jacket before they went to Levi’s car.

It was then that he noticed that his boyfriend was being rather quiet. The flowers held in his hands, Eren turned toward Levi who had started the car but hadn’t pulled out of the parking space. “Is everything okay?”

Levi leaned forward and scowled at his steering wheel as if it had somehow offended him. “What’s wrong with chrysanthemums?”

“Ah.” Eren played with the soft petals of a pink flower for a moment. “Well, you know that Mikasa’s half Japanese, right?” He waited for Levi to nod before he continued. “The thing with Japanese and, well, other cultures is that chrysanthemums tend to represent death. So yeah, never give them to a sick person or anything, it’s like saying you’re thinking they’re going to die.” He tried to laugh to lessen the blow. “But I think they’re beautiful.” He really did.

Levi huffed a little, causing the long hair of his bangs to fan out. “They were all out of roses when I got to the damn store, and I thought those were the nicest flowers left. Guess I should have listened when the woman tried to sell me something else.”

Eren set the flowers on his lap so he could reach over to place his left hand on Levi’s. “Really, I do think they’re beautiful.”

That earned him a grateful smile as Levi leaned over for a kiss. Eren sighed at the feel of warm lips on his own, at the way Levi’s tongue traced along the seam of his mouth and the feel of fingers sliding through his hair as-

A loud banging noise startled the hell out of him. “Oi! It’s not even 7pm yet! Get a room!”

Eren jerked away from Levi in time to see Jean saunter away from Levi’s Audi coupe and promised himself that he’d get Armin to spam the bastard’s precious Instagram account with doctored bestiality pics for revenge.


Levi opened the car door for Eren and walked with him to the restaurant where Hange had somehow found him an open reservation – it was bad enough that it was Valentine’s Day, but on a weekend night as well? Everything in the metro area was booked, except for this place where a ‘friend’ of Hange’s owed her a favor. She had promised Levi that they served steak and lots of it, and from the looks of the parking lot it certainly was popular.

“I’ve never had Brazilian food before – what’s it called again,” Eren asked as he slid his right arm through Levi’s and smiled. Fuck, but the brat was gorgeous; not really a kid, since he was working in the Geek Squad, as Levi called it, but still a good ten years younger than Levi and those eyes….

“Churrascaria.” Levi was proud of the fact that he both pronounced the word properly (or at least the same way that Hange had told it to him) and that he seemed unaffected by the bright gleam in Eren’s gorgeous blue-green, almost teal eyes and the exuberant grin on that adorable face. Okay, so he’d fucked up with the flowers – who the hell knew that he needed to know what damn flowers *meant* before giving them out? All Hange had told him was ‘buy some pretty flowers’, and he was going to kick her in the ass for not being more specific on Monday, oh yes he was.

There was a bit of a line at the door to the restaurant, but Levi knew quite a few tricks from his younger years and as an FBI investigator to help cut through the queue. Within a minute or two he managed to get him and Eren up to the front of the restaurant, where some kid in black pants, a white shirt and a horrid tropical-patterned vest stood behind a stand festooned with ferns. In fact, now that they were in the restaurant, Levi noticed that it seemed to have some a tropical or jungle theme going on.

Eren noticed it too as they were being led to their table. “Huh, it’s a nice break from the cold,” he commented. “And take a look at that… ah, yeah.” He jerked his head forward as if to pretend he hadn’t seen it, but it was too late – Levi had caught sight of the long row of buffet bars and all the *food* set out for disgusting people to paw at and drool on and bugs to-

No, he wasn’t going to freak out, not on a date with Eren. He’d just avoid the rows of festering, disease-laden cesspools and order directly off the menu. He gave Eren’s arm in his a quick squeeze as they followed the lanky host to their table, busy dodging people wandering about with plates overloaded with food, and slid onto the pleather covered booths. At least the table was nice and clean.

“John will be by for your drink orders,” the kid told them before turning to leave.

“Eh, what about menus?”

“The drink menus are on the table,” he told Levi.

Confused over what they were going to order for dinner, Levi shared a look with Eren, who grinned and shrugged before reaching for the menu. It was refreshing to see Eren laugh and grin over some of the drinks’ names, and while the place didn’t seem too romantic, at least it was just the two of them and they were having a mostly good time – the ghastly buffet tables aside.

Levi looked up to see if their server was coming to for their drinks… and that’s when he saw it. The disgusting pits of germs that idiots willingly subjected themselves to across the room he could mostly ignore, but *people* walking around carrying *meat* to *tables*? “What the *fuck*.”

“Oohh… I think I heard about these places,” Eren groaned as he realized what had caught Levi’s aghast attention.

“Are they out of their fucking minds?” Levi didn’t even stop to think, he snatched up his coat with his right hand while he reached across the table with his left for Eren’s wrist. “No way in *hell* are we staying here!”

“Yeah, I sorta got that impression.” Eren didn’t put up any resistance as they stormed out of the place, past the stunned host and a line of people waiting at the door. It wasn’t until the cold air hit Levi that he realized that he’d just dragged his boyfriend away from what was supposed to be their romantic dinner. Fuck….

He turned to find Eren struggling to pull on his coat with one hand. “I’m sorry-“

“No, it’s okay, I basically figured once I saw the buffet tables that it wasn’t going to work.” His arm now free, Eren managed a lopsided smile as he buttoned up his coat. “It’s fine. I’m not a big fan of ‘all you can eat’ anyway.”

Levi was *so* going to kill Hange on Monday  - first the flowers and now this. “Maybe we can find someplace else,” he offered, even though he knew the chances of that were slim to none. Yet he was desperate to salvage what he could of the night before Eren was done with it and him.

“How about we just hit a grocery store to pick up a few things and I make dinner, all right?” Eren sidled closer and draped his arms over Levi’s shoulders, and despite the fact that he was standing in some strange parking lot without a coat in temperatures cold enough to frost their breath, Levi felt a rush of heat through his body just then. He tugged Eren closer so he could kiss the forgiving fool, grateful that just as it seemed he was so desperate to get tonight right that Eren was so willing to go along with anything as long as they spent it together.

Eren’s lips parted eagerly beneath his, and despite the cold and some annoying catcalls from rude passerby’s Levi was content to stand out here for a while longer until Eren ran his fingers along Levi’s undercut and made him shiver in reaction. “Come on, you’re freezing,” he urged as he tugged Levi toward the car.

Not entirely true, but Levi allowed himself to be led away all the same; he figured once they were safely locked up in his apartment that surely the night would take a turn for the better.


Eren turned down the heat beneath the bubbling sauce and then checked the cooking pasta one more time; Italian was something quick and easy to make in Levi’s closet of a kitchen. Sure, everyone joked about how well it paid to work for the government, but there was a reason that Eren roomed with his sister and Armin – Levi must have lucked out to find an affordable apartment like this one even if he was several pay grades above Eren.

“Uhm, you really don’t have to help me, everything’s almost ready now,” he told his boyfriend; it was almost cute, the way Levi was hovering around… except there really wasn’t enough room for the two of them in the tiny kitchen. Even if Levi wasn’t that big, which there was no way Eren would ever say that aloud, especially when Levi seemed in a bad enough mood from how the night was turning out. So much for a nice romantic evening together….

Levi grunted in an annoyed manner and began to wash up the dishes that Eren had dirtied from prepping the salad and garlic bread. “You shouldn’t be doing all the work, not when I asked you out. Doesn’t seem fair.” He sounded a bit upset, even if he was doing a good job of glaring at a particular spot on a pan just then.

Eren sighed as he checked the pasta again. “I don’t mind cooking, and I’m happy just being with you,” he reminded the stubborn idiot again. Really, this was so much better than spending the night alone, like last Valentine’s, or fighting with your supposed boyfriend, like the year before that. Judging the pasta to be done, he turned off the heat on the stovetop and began to lift the inner pot out of the boiling water.

“Still, you shouldn’t have to cook and all. Speaking of which, I think the bread’s starting to burn.” Levi turned to reach for the oven just as Eren was pulling up the pasta and, moving too fast in the small space, bumped into him and caused Eren to drop the metal container filled with wet pasta all over the floor.



Thankful that he was wearing a pair of slippers that he’d left behind a couple of months ago, Eren jumped back – right into Levi – to avoid the hot metal from crashing into his feet. As it was, the pasta spilled out all over the floor with a disturbing ‘splat’, some of it splattering onto Eren’s and Levi’s feet and legs.

Cursing as he brushed it off, Eren groaned as he realized that there went dinner since they’d only bought the one box of pasta. Meanwhile, Levi had that disturbing gleam in his grey eyes that precluded one of his frenzied cleaning sprees, probably brought on by the sight of wet, sticky pasta splattered all over his tiny kitchen. As if things couldn’t get any worse, a burning scent began to fill the air right around the time that the smoke alarm went off – yeah, Levi had been right about the garlic bread after all.

Eren threw his hands up in the air and shook his head. “Me and the wine will be in the living room while you sort this out,” he decided. He took the time to brush off the few bits of pasta clinging to his pants before snagging the opened bottle of wine and a glass, then left his boyfriend to do one of the things he did best.


The kitchen *finally* restored to order, Levi brushed aside the thick bangs falling onto his damp forehead and sighed. What a fucking mess – that damn pasta had gotten *everywhere*. “Oi! You still awake in there,” he called out to his boyfriend after he washed clean his hands and then went into the living room.

“Hmm?” Eren was stretched out on the dark grey couch, a mostly empty wine glass in his right hand as his head lolled against the padded back. “Everything spic n’ span?” There was a slight slur to his words now.

“More or less.” Levi approached and noticed that Eren had finished most of the bottle of wine himself, and that the tv was on but the volume turned down. “What are you watching?”

“Eh, some silly movie.” Eren shrugged before he set his wineglass aside on the table and then reached for Levi. “Got lonely without you.”

Levi almost said that the idiot could have stuck around, but there was no way the two of them could have cleaned together in that small space. “I’m here now,” he said as he straddled Eren’s lap.

“Hmm, yeah.” Eren tasted like wine when he parted his lips for Levi’s kiss, not the least bit hesitant as he brushed his tongue against Levi’s and pulled him closer, his hands warm as they slid beneath the shirt that Levi had tugged loose from his pants as he’d cleaned. Startled at first, Levi threaded his fingers through his boyfriend’s soft, shaggy hair so he could better dominate the kiss, eager for *something* to go right after such a fucked-up night. Despite dinner being ruined, Eren still seemed in a good mood – well, the wine might have something to do with that – and rocked his hips upward, a definite hardness rubbing against Levi’s own growing erection. Levi shivered a little in anticipation and the feel of teasing fingers along the back of his neck and shoulders, and it was with some reluctance that he forced himself to shift back and off of Eren’s lap. The way the little shit moaned in disappointment didn’t help at all.

“Come on, let’s go to the bedroom.”

“Couch is just as good,” Eren complained as he began to fumble with the buttons of his blue shirt, his dark brown hair falling into those lovely eyes.

“Not for what I have in mind.” Levi clicked his tongue a couple of times while he latched on to Eren’s left arm and hauled the drunken idiot upright, provoking a whine of complaint along the way. “How about a nice massage?”

“Depends on what you’re massaging.” Eren probably thought he looked sexy or something, but was too drunk to pull off a leer just then. Levi waited until his boyfriend managed to take off his shirt and pushed the idiot onto the bed.

“We’ll start with your back for now.” Maybe if Levi took his time, Eren would sober up a little bit so it wouldn’t feel as if he was taking too much advantage of the brat during sex. “Take off your pants,” he ordered while he removed his own shirt and then decided to get rid of the pants as well. Dammit, everything would need to be dry cleaned because of the shitty pasta.

Eren was quick to comply, stripping down to a pair of boxer shorts that were black with bright red hearts all over them before he stretched out on the bed on his stomach. Fucking kid, Levi thought to himself with a barely suppressed smile even as he fetched the bottle of lotion that he’d picked up when he stocked up on the other supplies earlier. It had been a bit of an impulse buy, but… what the hell, it was the holiday, he’d told himself. And Hange kept saying he needed to ‘be romantic’.

Turning off all the lights except for the one on the nightstand, he opened the bottle and straddled Eren’s thighs. “Hmm, something smells spicy.”

“It’s cinnamon.” Levi squirted some of the red-colored massage oil onto his hands and rubbed it around a little to warm it up. After making sure that it didn’t stain his skin, he leaned forward so he could rub Eren’s tense shoulders. “It’s even edible,” he whispered into Eren’s left ear.

“Ooh, now *that* sounds promising,” Eren murmured as he began to relax beneath Levi’s hands. He wriggled a little on the bed and let out a slow breath. “Mmm, it feels warm.”

Levi grunted a little and continued to rub his hands along Eren’s back, putting a little pressure in one spot to work out some tension. Damn sexy geeks who spent most of the day bent over a computer… at least Eren worked out…. “Stay still, you’ve got a lot of tension in your shoulders,” Levi ordered as he worked on a stiff trapezius muscle.

“Seriously, is there some liquid heat in there? It really feels hot.” Eren squirmed some more and hissed.

“No, it’s just some flavored massage oil.” Levi shifted back a little and got a good look at Eren’s back. “Fuck.” For some reason, the normally golden skin of Eren’s back was turning bright red – Levi immediately looked down at his hands but they were fine, so it couldn’t be because of any dye. The lower part of Eren’s back was normal, the flushed part was only where Levi had spread the oil.

“Dammit, it *really* hurts!”

“Come on, let’s get you in the shower!” Levi hopped off the bed so Eren could get up, and both of then ran to the bathroom to wash off the oil. “Are you allergic to anything?”

“I get a bit stuffy during pollen season, but that’s about it.” Eren didn’t even wait to take off his boxers, he jumped into the shower as soon as the water was turned on and let it rain down on his inflamed back. “Fuck! It really hurts!”

Joining him under the cool water as well, Levi hissed in sympathy and tried to gently lather up his boyfriend’s back with soap to help rinse off the oil. “Must have been the cinnamon.” Guilt flooded Levi as he silently cursed himself for buying the damn stuff.

“You think?” Eren glared for a moment and then closed his eyes. “No, no, I’ve never had trouble with it before – I eat it all the time.” He reached over to put a hand on Levi’s arm and gave him a shake. “It’s not your fault.” When Levi didn’t say anything – it was rather difficult to agree when his boyfriend had welts on his back from the massage Levi had given him – Eren sighed and pushed them both away from the running water. “Look, neither of us knew it would happen.”

“This whole night’s been a disaster, I never should have-“ Levi was cut off from saying anything else as Eren kissed him, the action a bit more passionate than on-center just then but they were both soaking wet so a bit of drool could be overlooked for once. More than a little surprised by the action, he didn’t say anything when Eren pulled away and twisted about to turn off the water.

“Okay, I figure I have about three seconds before you come to your sense so I’ll be quick. Yeah, tonight was a bit of a mess.” Eren managed a lopsided grin as he pushed back the wet bangs falling onto his face. “It *was* a disaster, if I’m being honest. But you tried to make it a nice night which is all that matters to me, even if I’m starving and my back hurts. I’ll never forget tonight, and in a few weeks I’ll be laughing about everything that went wrong while always remembering the fantastic guy I was with during it all. *That’s* what matters, all right?”

Levi hated shit like this, not only because it was mushy as hell and sappy and… and all that other shit, but because he *sucked* at it. He didn’t know the right words to tell Eren that yeah, he had wanted tonight to be perfect, that he wanted it all to go so right and it was only because that he was spending it with *Eren*, but it would be easier to crack a thirty-year old cold case than to put that into words. So all he could do was run the fingers of his right hand through the brat’s wet hair then give them a gentle shake and snort softly. “What’s this ‘was with’ shit? I don’t put this much effort into brats just for nothing.”

The smile on Eren’s face just then was worth all of the hassle, all of headaches he’d put up so far tonight and then some, it was so breathtaking. “Aw, and there we have the night’s romantic declarations. Nice to see something go right,” Eren proclaimed before he leaned in for a kiss, leaving Levi little time to figure out if he was being serious or not. Just to be safe, Levi nipped the little shit’s bottom lip.

Laughing as he pulled back, Eren gave Levi a sultry look and then went down on his knees with his hands on the waistband of Levi’s wet boxers. “Hey! What about your-“

“Ah-ah! You’ve been doing stuff for me all night, let me do something for you now.” Eren gave Levi a stern look for a moment even as he tugged down the wet boxers. “Just… don’t slip, or something.”

“Way to set the mood,” Levi muttered as he stepped out of his boxers and then leaned back against the damp tiles of his shower stall. Part of him felt bad for letting Eren go through with this after the massage and everything else, and another – fuck, the rest of him just wanted a blow job. *Something* had to go right tonight, and just the feel of Eren’s warm hand sliding around his cock was making him so damn hard. He leaned his head back against the wall and stared down his nose so he could see his boyfriend lap at his tumescent cock, a groan bursting free both from the sight and feel of that tongue swiping along his length. Eren glanced up at him, those teal eyes beginning to darken with desire, and smirked a little before taking Levi into his mouth and sucking him into full hardness.

“Fuck!” Levi grabbed at Eren’s wet hair and struggled not to pull on the strands as he rocked his hips slightly and murmured words of encouragement; Eren was such a fucking tease and enjoyed driving him crazy with his furled tongue, the way he’d pull back now and then to lick along the length and tip of Levi’s cock, the way his free hand scratched lightly along Levi’s upper thigh and played with his balls. Those gorgeous eyes and the soft, low moans as if he couldn’t get enough of Levi’s cock… it was all too much and after such a shitty night, Levi felt the intense pleasure coil tighter and tighter inside of him until one more scratch, one more swiping drag of that tongue was just too much and it burst free like a torrent. He shuddered and let out a strangled gasp as he came, his fingers clenched tight in Eren’s hair as he slumped forward, Eren’s mouth and hand still on his cock and left arm wrapping around his hips for support.

“…fuck.” He shook his head to help clear it and released his hold on Eren so the poor kid could straighten up. “You all right?” Kneeling on the tile floor had to hurt, and even though it had to have been ten minutes or so since the shower, the redness hadn’t gone down at all on Eren’s back. Levi helped his boyfriend stand to his feet.

Eren was a little unsteady as he stood up and shook first his left foot and then his right as if his legs had fallen asleep; he winced as if in pain the entire time. “Uh… not really.” He made a reaching movement with his right arm and winced again. “Maybe… maybe I should do something about my back. It’s not getting any better.”

Well, Levi *had* been feeling good for about a minute or two there. “For fuck’s sake, I’ll scrounge up some clothes for us and then take you to the nearest Urgent Care.” When the idiot looked ready to argue, Levi gave him a cold glare and shook his head. “Just shut up and go stand under some more cool water for a few minutes.” When Eren did that whole ‘kicked puppy’ routine of his, he sighed and gave the brat a gentle shove toward the shower. “Next time, Urgent Care and *then* blow jobs.”

“Okay. It’s just that you looked so sad….”

Idiot. Smiling a little, Levi detoured to the sink to rinse off quickly before going to search for some clothes for the both of them and attempted to calculate the odds of them getting into a car accident on the way to the local Urgent Care, what with the way this night was going. Maybe they should call a taxi….


Hange was busy typing up an overdue autopsy report when something slapped into her face. “Wah?” She flailed about and nearly fell out of her chair to avoid whatever it was, and by the time she righted herself, she found Levi standing beside her desk, dressed as usual in a perfectly ironed dark grey suit and white shirt with a black tie, his arms folded over his chest and an envelope held in his right hand. “What the fuck?” She glared at him as she adjusted her glasses and then righted her lab coat and the t-shirt she wore beneath it.

“Here, I expect to be paid back by the end of the day.” He shoved the envelope toward her – she assumed it was what had hit her earlier – his tone that ‘obey me or else’ one he used to scare the crap out of the newbies. And the local authorities. And half of the admins. And most of the higher ups….

She frowned as she accepted the thing, half-expecting it to explode at the touch. “All right, *what* is it?”

“Dry cleaning and medical bills from this weekend.” Levi paused to straighten his tie before turning to leave. “I am *never* listening to your dating advice again.”

“Wait – what?” Hange rushed to her feet so she could follow the enigmatic bastard out of her office. “Dry cleaning? *Medical*? Just what did the two of you get up to that night? LEVI! I NEED TO *KNOW*,” she shouted, yet he just kept sauntering away with the slightest of smiles on his face.

“Pay the damn bills or Erwin finds out what *really* happened to that one John Doe cadaver,” Levi threatened as he headed toward the elevator. “Oh, and you have a hand-to-hand training refresher course at 1pm… with me,” he shot back over his shoulder right before the elevator doors slid open.

Hange stood there in the hallway and tapped the envelope against her lips as she watched him leave. Hmm, someone sure was in a snit, wasn’t he? But it couldn’t be too bad or else Erwin would be down here already, breathing fire and blah-blah’ing about ‘desecration’ and ‘stealing resources’ and all that other nonsense that was just so boring and useless. Not to mention that Levi had been smiling, just a little, and if he’d messed things up with Eren then Hange doubted *anyone* in headquarters would be happy – well, maybe Mikasa.

“Aw, some people just have a hard time saying ‘thanks’.” She sniffed a little as she shoved the envelope into the front left pocket of her coat and returned to her office. She’d have to ping Eren later to find out just how well the date had gone – yeah, Levi was a work in progress on the whole romantic front, but how bad could it have been?


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